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Thread: A Cowbridge News Update

  1. #1

    A Cowbridge News Update

    I visited Sludge this afternoon to see how he's getting on. I know that some here would love to see him again so that he might repay the money he borrowed from them. He's still using a walking stick following his leg op last year. He's hoping to be back to full health before the new dogging season begins in late March.

    Must say he was rather grumpy. His telly had gone on the blink just as Loose Women was about to start. He's also been formally banned for life from entering Cowbridge Conservative Club. A committee enquiry had concluded that he was guilty of wetting the tip of his opponent's cue during their first round Christmas snooker tournament encounter. "It had to be done," he confessed. "I was miles behind with just the colours remaining when he nipped off for a quick slash. When he returned I won on the black after he gave away 64 points in fouls."

    It was then he became quite emotional and nostalgic. "Do you know," he said in words tinged with melancholy, "I became a member there on my 18th birthday back in 1984. The miners strike was on and I can clearly remember celebrating with everyone else in the bar while watching news footage of the pitmen getting battered by Met police batons. Oh, how we laughed when they were carted away on stretchers, and the Chairman, Jeremy Nobbreath, actually climbed onto a table to cheer on the boys in blue."

    He confided that the most difficult aspect of his convalescence is overcoming boredom. "It's not healthy watching 12 hours of internet porn each day," he acknowledged. "Mind," he added, "it's healthier than the 16 hours a day I used to watch." He wants an allotment or somewhere he can potter about. "I'd like a smallholding," he said.

    For some amusement I teased him. "But according to several of your ex's," I said, "you already have a small holding; that's why they finished with you because you didn't measure up in the tickling stick department." "Bollocks," was his one-word response.

  2. #2

    Re: A Cowbridge News Update

    Well done Mr Morgan.
    I remember you posting in a Mastermind thread on here many years ago. The thread was alone the lines of your specialist subject on Mastermind. Your reply was Sludgy's specialist subject was something like Fiesta magazine from 1975 until the present day. You then added the questions and Sludgy's answers.
    That's one of the funniest posts I've ever read on here

  3. #3

    Re: A Cowbridge News Update

    Didn't Sludge pop off to Poland recently?
    I thought I heard him say the he was going to Krakow.....

  4. #4

    Re: A Cowbridge News Update

    Quote Originally Posted by Organ Morgan. View Post
    I visited Sludge this afternoon to see how he's getting on. I know that some here would love to see him again so that he might repay the money he borrowed from them. He's still using a walking stick following his leg op last year. He's hoping to be back to full health before the new dogging season begins in late March.

    Must say he was rather grumpy. His telly had gone on the blink just as Loose Women was about to start. He's also been formally banned for life from entering Cowbridge Conservative Club. A committee enquiry had concluded that he was guilty of wetting the tip of his opponent's cue during their first round Christmas snooker tournament encounter. "It had to be done," he confessed. "I was miles behind with just the colours remaining when he nipped off for a quick slash. When he returned I won on the black after he gave away 64 points in fouls."

    It was then he became quite emotional and nostalgic. "Do you know," he said in words tinged with melancholy, "I became a member there on my 18th birthday back in 1984. The miners strike was on and I can clearly remember celebrating with everyone else in the bar while watching news footage of the pitmen getting battered by Met police batons. Oh, how we laughed when they were carted away on stretchers, and the Chairman, Jeremy Nobbreath, actually climbed onto a table to cheer on the boys in blue."

    He confided that the most difficult aspect of his convalescence is overcoming boredom. "It's not healthy watching 12 hours of internet porn each day," he acknowledged. "Mind," he added, "it's healthier than the 16 hours a day I used to watch." He wants an allotment or somewhere he can potter about. "I'd like a smallholding," he said.

    For some amusement I teased him. "But according to several of your ex's," I said, "you already have a small holding; that's why they finished with you because you didn't measure up in the tickling stick department." "Bollocks," was his one-word response.
    .


    Brilliant ,made me chuckle hopefully yer man enjoyed the homage.

  5. #5

    Re: A Cowbridge News Update

    Absolutely love these

    What a Tory voting rotter he really is.

  6. #6

    Re: A Cowbridge News Update

    Well done, Organ. Ol' Jeremy Knobbreath, I remember him well.

    I was in a social club during the miner's strike and one bloke was complaining about "the bloody miners" when a couple of miners came in collecting. He contributed and when the miners left we gave him some surprised looks. "They looked dangerous", he said. We all burst out laughing. He was about twice the size of them.

  7. #7

    Re: A Cowbridge News Update

    Quote Originally Posted by The Alien View Post
    Well done Mr Morgan.
    I remember you posting in a Mastermind thread on here many years ago. The thread was alone the lines of your specialist subject on Mastermind. Your reply was Sludgy's specialist subject was something like Fiesta magazine from 1975 until the present day. You then added the questions and Sludgy's answers.
    That's one of the funniest posts I've ever read on here
    Yes, one of the questions was how many nipples were on view in the July 1994 issue. The correct answer was 134, and he got it right, just like all the others. Magnus was well impressed.

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