Another mercifully brief glimpse into Sludge's world
Visited the Tory stronghold of Cowbridge yesterday to see its most notorious resident who masquerades at this forum as a soft-hearted leftie.
He enjoys regaling me with his "sexcellent" adventures because he knows his crude tales make me wince. Most of them cannot be relayed here otherwise I'd risk falling foul of the Obscene Publications Act. What I find especially annoying is how his breathing intensifies as his excitement mounts on reliving the triple-X details of his toe-curling assignations.
When scouting outside his patch for someone to poke he always uses aliases. Bertram Davies, a part-time table tennis coach and a former Church of Wales minister, is the guise he uses when lurking at day centres for the elderly. He offers ladies pastoral and moral guidance, but he's only interested in giving them something else, an STD.
He soon became known as Dirty Bertie and has had little success.
On heading north to Rhondda Cynon Taff he poses as Geronimo Jones, a carpet fitter from Aberbargoed.
"Aberbargoed, where's that?" I asked. "I'm fecked if I know," replied the rotter.
I found the details of one encounter to be particularly gruesome. He chatted-up a woman in Poundstretcher, groomed her with some cans from Bargain Booze then immediately set about receiving payment in kind for the £6.99 he had shelled out.
He boasted she barely had time to finish her first swig while sat on the back seat of his car before his grope-fest began in earnest. He started to pant as his excruciatingly thorough account became ever more sordid.
By the time he'd finished, which culminated in how he managed to insert one of those cans into an intimate area, he sounded like an asthmatic pit pony.
What a stinker that fella is!
Re: Another mercifully brief glimpse into Sludge's world
I'm sure if you organised a tour bus you'd get a few takers to hop aboard on your next Sludge World visit , were there any pictures of Penny Mordaunt lying around?
Re: Another mercifully brief glimpse into Sludge's world
He has to be this boards biggest scoundrel!
Re: Another mercifully brief glimpse into Sludge's world
Quote:
Originally Posted by
life on mars
I'm sure if you organised a tour bus you'd get a few takers to hop aboard on your next Sludge World visit , were there any pictures of Penny Mordaunt lying around?
Attractive lady but a big unit
