Originally Posted by
Organ Morgan.
Visited Sludge this morning at his Cowbridge headquarters. I could tell he was in a good mood by how animated he was but he was a little disconcerted by his inability to locate his specs.
He handed me his smartphone and asked me to guess who was in the photo on its screen. That request confused me as all that was visible was what looked like a rear view shot of a hand lifting the tail of a sheep. "Er, uhm, wrong pic," he gasped as he sprang from his chair to snatch the device from my grasp. After holding it near a window for better light and pressing some buttons he returned it to me. I only needed a cursory glance at the new image to determine it was of Les Dawson. "What?!" he exclaimed as he once again vaulted across the room to return to the window with it. He peered intently when holding it from several different angles. "Do you know what, now that you've said so," he remarked, "there is more than a passing resemblance but it's one of Patricia, my new girlfriend."
"Feck me," I thought, "nobody could ever accuse you of being fussy."
She is, he revealed, currently resident at the nearby Llandow caravan park where she's known as Pikey Pat who earns a living as an unlicensed scrap metal dealer. "I realise it's a long shot," he intoned, "but if by chance you need some cheap rolls of barbed wire or storm drain covers then I might know someone who can help you out."
He was preparing to head to one of the local grog shops for a "sesh" and wondered whether I cared to join him. That invitation received a firm "no" as I didn't fancy spending the afternoon challenging the views of one or more of his ghastly Tory chums. He's cast his postal vote for Johnson in the leadership contest but with little enthusiasm as neither candidate is right-wing enough for his taste. I doubt any Prime Minister will equal the Iron Lady in his estimation. Whenever her name is mentioned he solemnly utters the words: "peace be upon Her" to which I retort: "piss be upon Her, more like" and he gets his hair off before placing the ends of his index fingers in both ears whenever I continue to rant and rave about her legacy.
