Now that was a ride I enjoyed!

http://mauveandyellowarmy.net/

Excellent read as always.
Didn't Brighton beat Man U at the start of the season as well?

I believe this thread's title is a trifle inappropriate on this our Lord's day.

Old hands will recall those days prior to mauveandyellowarmy.net when Bobsy Wilson posted his match reports here. They were before Moggis issued him with a final written warning which meant a further transgression would mean he'd dispatch his former Chief Moderator and ex-Soul Crew thug Thames Valley Bluebird to duff him up.

His reports would always appear between 6am and 11am every Sunday. Users would know within seconds of him pressing the Submit New Thread button because everything froze, then after refreshing the page a This Site is Undergoing Maintenance message would appear. The home game reports were especially and extraordinary long because the build-up to the on field action begun from the instant he awoke. Regulars knew to have an energy giving well sugared cup of tea at hand to sustain them. Here's an example from a 2012 fixture.

6.32am: Rose prior to the alarm clock sounding.

7.14am: Enjoyed one boiled eggs and two lightly buttered slices of toast.

9.29am: Weather's fine and dry, temperature gauge is showing 53.6 Farenheit which is average for the time of year.

10.40am: A rather nasty looking cloud has appeared and is approaching from a south-westerly direction. Let's hope it passes us by as I suspect it's a precipitation-bearing one.

There'd be two dozen or more further diary-like entries before he reached the ground. They'd mostly revolve around who he had and hadn't seen en route and those temporary stops to pick his nose.

By the time kick-off neared my scrolling finger had developed cramp but I soldiered on. I refused to sigh or tut when perusing the miles of info relating to the pitch, corner flags, minute-by-minute crowd size estimates, nor what songs Ali had played, who recorded them and what year they were released for it was 2.59pm and the ref had his whistle poised inches from his lips.

But no! As was his habit before exciting games he tormented us with these dreaded words: and now for some background about today's officials.

"Oh no, for the love of Christ!" I wailed with exasperation.

Ten minutes and 15 paragraphs later my dog became aware of what was about to unfold. He discreetly tiptoed his way round the back of the piano where he knew he was beyond my reach.

I snapped when perusing a mini biography of one of the linesmen.

"I don't give a flying feck about what primary school G. Atherton of Waterlooville in Hampsire went to and I care even less, if that's fecking possible, about what twatting secondary school the kent was enrolled at! What is the fecking relevance?!" I shouted at the screen.

I was on my third cuppa and the fecking ball hadn't been kicked yet!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The Bloop

Excellent read as always.
Didn't Brighton beat Man U at the start of the season as well?

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My excuse is that, as they are outside the top six, Manchester United are not considered a top club any more, the truth is that I forgot all about that match.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Organ Morgan.

I believe this thread's title is a trifle inappropriate on this our Lord's day.

Old hands will recall those days prior to mauveandyellowarmy.net when Bobsy Wilson posted his match reports here. They were before Moggis issued him with a final written warning which meant a further transgression would mean he'd dispatch his former Chief Moderator and ex-Soul Crew thug Thames Valley Bluebird to duff him up.

His reports would always appear between 6am and 11am every Sunday. Users would know within seconds of him pressing the Submit New Thread button because everything froze, then after refreshing the page a This Site is Undergoing Maintenance message would appear. The home game reports were especially and extraordinary long because the build-up to the on field action begun from the instant he awoke. Regulars knew to have an energy giving well sugared cup of tea at hand to sustain them. Here's an example from a 2012 fixture.

6.32am: Rose prior to the alarm clock sounding.

7.14am: Enjoyed one boiled eggs and two lightly buttered slices of toast.

9.29am: Weather's fine and dry, temperature gauge is showing 53.6 Farenheit which is average for the time of year.

10.40am: A rather nasty looking cloud has appeared and is approaching from a south-westerly direction. Let's hope it passes us by as I suspect it's a precipitation-bearing one.

There'd be two dozen or more further diary-like entries before he reached the ground. They'd mostly revolve around who he had and hadn't seen en route and those temporary stops to pick his nose.

By the time kick-off neared my scrolling finger had developed cramp but I soldiered on. I refused to sigh or tut when perusing the miles of info relating to the pitch, corner flags, minute-by-minute crowd size estimates, nor what songs Ali had played, who recorded them and what year they were released for it was 2.59pm and the ref had his whistle poised inches from his lips.

But no! As was his habit before exciting games he tormented us with these dreaded words: and now for some background about today's officials.

"Oh no, for the love of Christ!" I wailed with exasperation.

Ten minutes and 15 paragraphs later my dog became aware of what was about to unfold. He discreetly tiptoed his way round the back of the piano where he knew he was beyond my reach.

I snapped when perusing a mini biography of one of the linesmen.

"I don't give a flying feck about what primary school G. Atherton of Waterlooville in Hampsire went to and I care even less, if that's fecking possible, about what twatting secondary school the kent was enrolled at! What is the fecking relevance?!" I shouted at the screen.

I was on my third cuppa and the fecking ball hadn't been kicked yet!

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:hehe:

I have a word counter in the Wordpress software I use for the blog and it gave up last night at about 2,500 words in - one of my longer efforts that one!