A relative’s love life dilemma: What would you advise?

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Originally Posted by Keyser Soze

The numbers will vary from person to person but people-pleasing, unless you work in customer services, ain’t a recipe for a happy life.

Any young person reading this page - digest Tuerto’s comments. Should be part of a “Realist’s Handbook of Life”.

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I know that i digress, although a thread on what we have all learnt about life as we have aged would be interesting. Think of all of that time spent worrying over shit that never happened. That's one for a start. Anyway, back on topic :thumbup:

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Originally Posted by Tuerto

I know that i digress, although a thread on what we have all learnt about life as we have aged would be interesting. Think of all of that time spent worrying over shit that never happened. That's one for a start. Anyway, back on topic :thumbup:

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100% “A Life’s Lessons - What would you share to youngsters” thread. That’s a great call. Don’t think I have ever seen one

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Originally Posted by Keyser Soze

100% “A Life’s Lessons - What would you share to youngsters” thread. That’s a great call. Don’t think I have ever seen one

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I've done one like that, and what would you change in your life if you had a time machine, something like that anyway.

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Originally Posted by Tuerto

I'm an expert at it. Work colleagues especially. I can blank anything out, i pretty much do things the way i want them to be done. Years of trying to please other people doesn't get you anywhere, in fact it causes more grief. So, do it your way. One thing i've learnt is that there's only around three people in most of our lives who actually give a shit and who would be their for you if the shit hit the fan. The rest are there when things are easy. Look after those people, because you'll need them one day :thumbup:

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It takes a while to figure out, but that's basically how I live now. Ive left behind a few stragglers ive tried to lift up along the way. Can't keep wasting my own time.

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Originally Posted by ninian opinian

And there you have it, this post is an example of why this MB is going down hill rapidly. Mike can you get rid of these WUM’s please?

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I entirely agree.

Callous and casual misogynism, by a WUM who thinks he is much more articulate than he is.

The language he uses is deliberately inflammatory.

I am disappointed that intelligent posters like TBG and one or two others have responded to him.

He's an attention-seeking nuisance.

The story he tells is nothing but a lie. But why should it be on a football meassageboard?

Get a grip, moderators. If there are any.

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Originally Posted by rich munn

I entirely agree.

Callous and casual misogynism, by a WUM who thinks he is much more articulate than he is.

The language he uses is deliberately inflammatory.

I am disappointed that intelligent posters like TBG and one or two others have responded to him.

He's an attention-seeking nuisance.

The story he tells is nothing but a lie. But why should it be on a football meassageboard?

Get a grip, moderators. If there are any.

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You'd be better off not opening any threads by people you perceive to be wind ups.

Alternatively just lighten up a bit and realise the board is for everyone and not everything on here is going to be to your liking.

I would especially not reply.

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Originally Posted by rich munn

I entirely agree.

Callous and casual misogynism, by a WUM who thinks he is much more articulate than he is.

The language he uses is deliberately inflammatory.

I am disappointed that intelligent posters like TBG and one or two others have responded to him.

He's an attention-seeking nuisance.

The story he tells is nothing but a lie. But why should it be on a football meassageboard?

Get a grip, moderators. If there are any.

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It's bollocks and we all know it is.

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Originally Posted by Keyser Soze

I agree, mein chum. With house prices Al Whacko, nugget hunting has become a thing.

In this situation the lady left the ex-pork and she had only been with him two years. Yes he owned the bricks and mortar, and after two years she did have the “common law wife” nonsense situation, so she could have pulled the trigger. But honourably, she didn’t. Either she wasn’t aware of the law or she did the honourable thing and just left. So no track record to suggest she is a nugget-hunter, just yet. Not is she a big spender / credit card junkie, so she doesn’t seem to be nugget-focused.

She has been with cousin for four years, and lived with him for three. Technically again, she is common law wife and has rights to claim. So no kids yet, but he is vulnerable to common law claims. If she is aware, then in her mid Thirties she might pull the trigger this time. He has been in the house about ten years so he has made a fair bit of equity. I think it might get messy so I said he needs to strip his cash accounts and ISAs and put in parents accountsout of caution. Even consider re-mortgaging, strip out the equity and place it in a hiding place to protect himself. But he acts like Mother Theresa and because he is a nice guy he thinks others are. He can be a mug sometimes.

I advised him long ago to decide after two years if he is serious or recycle her to someone else. He doesn’t want kids (she does), and that rings alarm bells to me if anything. I said if all he wants is nookie-on-tap he should take my mate’s advice and just take a financial attitude to women by adopting a “portfolio approach”. Have 2-4 on the go. Nobody moves in - protect yourself from “common law wife exposure”. You also protect yourself from “withdrawing / dwindling sex risk” because if one of them withdraws the frequency of fish pie you just swap her out for another one. And if one calls it off, you have another 2-3 in play so you never go without. That would suit him. A bit Andrew Tate, but works for my mate. He gets nookie all the time and on his terms. All the control.

Anyway the nugget-losses aren’t cousin’s main concern. It’s the ex-pork assessment he is struggling with. Women are more likely to have male friends than men have women friends, I note. No problem for me, but it is where the women hang out with ex-pork that draws my concern. If ex-pork is texting she might be doing the decent thing and ignoring. But if she is responding, or is out with ex-pork, I would say cut your losses and cut the cord immediately with no further questions asked. I cut all ties with former fish pies out of respect for other half.

But currently there is no evidence of cousin’s filth responding to the ex-pork, nor even visiting him, so is there a real reason for concern, other than the difference over wanting nippers?

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There is no such thing in law as a "common law wife situation". A common law wife /long term partner has no legal rights whatsoever where no children are involved.

My advice would be for your cousin to have an open and honest conversation with his partner about his feelings and suspicions. That's one thing I learned in life. Don't keep it to yourself, or you'll blow up.

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Originally Posted by blackrock bluebird

My advice would be for your cousin to have an open and honest conversation with his partner about his feelings and suspicions. That's one thing I learned in life. Don't keep it to yourself, or you'll blow up.

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Or, while it might sound far-fetched to some, there's a belief that souls can be connected across lifetimes. It's like a cosmic bond that transcends time and space. So, if your cousin feels a deep connection with his partner, perhaps everything will be alright. Tell him to look for signs. Some of them are covered in this article: deja vu when they're together, matching birthmarks or scars - these could be clues of a deeper connection.