What's your favourite fantasy ?

I am playing in central midfield for city , a sort of willie boland who scores goals type

We are away at those bloody plastic scousers , last game of the season

It's our first season back in the big time and we have gone from bottom of the league at xmas to within a point of liverpool

Who ever wins this game , wins the league

With two minutes left the ball falls to me outside the area and I curl out a belter that finds the corner of the net

Cue bedlam in the packed away end , people are invading the pitch

Order is restored and we have to see out five minutes of injury time

I am at the centre of everything , end to end tackles , goalline clearances , the lot

Eventually the final whistle goes , the city fans run onto the pitch and I am carried in their arms all around the pitch , stopping at the top to flick the vicks to the spoilt gits

After the game before boarding the bus I am approached by Salma Hayek who says she has always been a cardiff fan due to her docks ancestry , she gives me her number and we spend the summer making love on her luxury yacht in Florida

Sadly fame goes to my head , I develop a methadone habit and end up in a bed sit on newport road

Stacey Dooley isn't going to be too happy!

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Originally Posted by valleys caveman

Stacey Dooley isn't going to be too happy!

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Why? Was she in goal for Liverpool.

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Originally Posted by valleys caveman

Stacey Dooley isn't going to be too happy!

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She's a luckily girl her surname, didn't start with an S

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Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

I am playing in central midfield for city , a sort of willie boland who scores goals type

We are away at those bloody plastic scousers , last game of the season

It's our first season back in the big time and we have gone from bottom of the league at xmas to within a point of liverpool

Who ever wins this game , wins the league

With two minutes left the ball falls to me outside the area and I curl out a belter that finds the corner of the net

Cue bedlam in the packed away end , people are invading the pitch

Order is restored and we have to see out five minutes of injury time

I am at the centre of everything , end to end tackles , goalline clearances , the lot

Eventually the final whistle goes , the city fans run onto the pitch and I am carried in their arms all around the pitch , stopping at the top to flick the vicks to the spoilt gits

After the game before boarding the bus I am approached by Salma Hayek who says she has always been a cardiff fan due to her docks ancestry , she gives me her number and we spend the summer making love on her luxury yacht in Florida

Sadly fame goes to my head , I develop a methadone habit and end up in a bed sit on newport road

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Better than your fantasy of Renee Zellwegger in a Liverpool shirt and crotchless shell suit bottoms.

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

Winning the lottery. My life can stay exactly the same. I just don't want to have to worry about money.

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Originally Posted by mazadona10

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

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Have you been reading my diary ?

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Originally Posted by NYCBlue

Winning the lottery. My life can stay exactly the same. I just don't want to have to worry about money.

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**** me, i bet the ladies love it when you talk dirty to them :hehe:

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Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

I am playing in central midfield for city , a sort of willie boland who scores goals type

We are away at those bloody plastic scousers , last game of the season

It's our first season back in the big time and we have gone from bottom of the league at xmas to within a point of liverpool

Who ever wins this game , wins the league

With two minutes left the ball falls to me outside the area and I curl out a belter that finds the corner of the net

Cue bedlam in the packed away end , people are invading the pitch

Order is restored and we have to see out five minutes of injury time

I am at the centre of everything , end to end tackles , goalline clearances , the lot

Eventually the final whistle goes , the city fans run onto the pitch and I am carried in their arms all around the pitch , stopping at the top to flick the vicks to the spoilt gits

After the game before boarding the bus I am approached by Salma Hayek who says she has always been a cardiff fan due to her docks ancestry , she gives me her number and we spend the summer making love on her luxury yacht in Florida

Sadly fame goes to my head , I develop a methadone habit and end up in a bed sit on newport road

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Hold on, what happened to the one you've related to me ad infinitum?

Let me remind you. It's Rome 1977, the scene of Liverpool's first European Cup triumph. With five minutes remaining the Scousers are 0-2 down. Bill Shankly is sweating snobs on the touchline. His hopes and dreams had all but evaporated until he finally paid notice to the louder and increasingly desperate chants reverberating throughout the mass ranks of Merseyside's unemployed who filled half the stadium. "We want Sludge!" they demanded.

Shankly points at you sat on the bench casually leafing through that month's issue of Reader's Wives Big Tits Special Edition. "Get on and bag a double, then we can beat them in extra time," he instructed. "I'll easily score a hat-trick in the time remaining, boss, and we'll enjoy a sing song in the communal bath rather than have extra time" you replied nonchalantly before combing your hair again to look your best for the TV cameras.

Two stunning 30 yard strikes by you, the second an amazingly powerful back-heeled rocket, evened the scoreline, before you scored the winner after embarking on a 60-yard run where you displayed your customary dribbling wizardry as a prelude to slotting the ball past their awestruck keeper.

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Originally Posted by mazadona10

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

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You do realise that you'd be privy to incest?

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Originally Posted by Tuerto

**** me, i bet the ladies love it when you talk dirty to them :hehe:

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They do. Which is why all I need is money.

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Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

Have you been reading my diary ?

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All the pages were stuck together.

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Originally Posted by Organ Morgan.

Hold on, what happened to the one you've related to me ad infinitum?

Let me remind you. It's Rome 1977, the scene of Liverpool's first European Cup triumph. With five minutes remaining the Scousers are 0-2 down. Bill Shankly is sweating snobs on the touchline. His hopes and dreams had all but evaporated until he finally paid notice to the louder and increasingly desperate chants reverberating throughout the mass ranks of Merseyside's unemployed who filled half the stadium. "We want Sludge!" they demanded.

Shankly points at you sat on the bench casually leafing through that month's issue of Reader's Wives Big Tits Special Edition. "Get on and bag a double, then we can beat them in extra time," he instructed. "I'll easily score a hat-trick in the time remaining, boss, and we'll enjoy a sing song in the communal bath rather than have extra time" you replied nonchalantly before combing your hair again to look your best for the TV cameras.

Two stunning 30 yard strikes by you, the second an amazingly powerful back-heeled rocket, evened the scoreline, before you scored the winner after embarking on a 60-yard run where you displayed your customary dribbling wizardry as a prelude to slotting the ball past their awestruck keeper.

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I have immense football talent but I will never lower myself to playing for the scouse gits

Readers wives I miss very much

Ok some of them were a bit saggy but you cant have everything

They were prepared to stand up and be counted

And gorped at

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Originally Posted by Tuerto

You do realise that you'd be privy to incest?

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Is that a crime ? Incest is clearly

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Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee

All the pages were stuck together.

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I spilt a load of that gloy glue all over it

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Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

Is that a crime ? Incest is clearly

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It depends what part of the world you live in. I'm sure that it's legal in France between consenting adults.

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Originally Posted by mazadona10

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

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I never thought I'd say this but can I hear more from mazadona please?

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Originally Posted by thehumblegringo

I never thought I'd say this but can I hear more from mazadona please?

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That scene from the office is comedy gold

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Originally Posted by Tuerto

It depends what part of the world you live in. I'm sure that it's legal in France between consenting adults.

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What about in wales ?

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Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

What about in wales ?

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Depends which Village you're from.

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Originally Posted by Organ Morgan.

Hold on, what happened to the one you've related to me ad infinitum?

Let me remind you. It's Rome 1977, the scene of Liverpool's first European Cup triumph. With five minutes remaining the Scousers are 0-2 down. Bill Shankly is sweating snobs on the touchline. His hopes and dreams had all but evaporated until he finally paid notice to the louder and increasingly desperate chants reverberating throughout the mass ranks of Merseyside's unemployed who filled half the stadium. "We want Sludge!" they demanded.

Shankly points at you sat on the bench casually leafing through that month's issue of Reader's Wives Big Tits Special Edition. "Get on and bag a double, then we can beat them in extra time," he instructed. "I'll easily score a hat-trick in the time remaining, boss, and we'll enjoy a sing song in the communal bath rather than have extra time" you replied nonchalantly before combing your hair again to look your best for the TV cameras.

Two stunning 30 yard strikes by you, the second an amazingly powerful back-heeled rocket, evened the scoreline, before you scored the winner after embarking on a 60-yard run where you displayed your customary dribbling wizardry as a prelude to slotting the ball past their awestruck keeper.

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Is the fantasy the bit about Bill Shankly? He left Liverpool in 1974.

[QUOTE=SLUDGE FACTORY;5048086]and I curl out a belter /QUOTE]
I am reading this line whilst carrying out my morning ablutions:yikes:

I'm the owner of Cardiff City and I invest 100 mil into a new training ground / academy / campus and 500 mill into transfers / wages culminating in the greatest decade our club has ever seen. And my wife does that thing I like.

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Originally Posted by Carl Dale's Mole

I'm the owner of Cardiff City and I invest 100 mil into a new training ground / academy / campus and 500 mill into transfers / wages culminating in the greatest decade our club has ever seen. And my wife does that thing I like.

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If I won the lottery on a massive scale I would give a fair chunk to the homeless and buy city a quality centre back , midfielder and world class striker

And give free tickets to all the school kids in south wales schools and free buses to all home games for life

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Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

If I won the lottery on a massive scale I would give a fair chunk to the homeless and buy city a quality centre back , midfielder and world class striker

And give free tickets to all the school kids in south wales schools and free buses to all home games for life

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I'd want you to take over from Tan, we'd be sponsored by readers wives and instead of huge posters of the players adorning the stadium we'd have full size pictures of female regional newsreaders and weather girls.

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Originally Posted by Malckent

Why? Was she in goal for Liverpool.

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:hehe:

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Originally Posted by Tuerto

I'd want you to take over from Tan, we'd be sponsored by readers wives and instead of huge posters of the players adorning the stadium we'd have full size pictures of female regional newsreaders and weather girls.

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Helen willetts is my current favourite on the weather girl front

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Originally Posted by cardiff55

Is the fantasy the bit about Bill Shankly? He left Liverpool in 1974.

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Correct. It's a point I've made to the rotter numerous times.

We must hope he doesn't start a thread about his favourite carnal fantasy.

It revolves around Linda Lash, a dominatrix from Dinas Powys, and isn't suitable for this family orientated message board.

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Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

Helen willetts is my current favourite on the weather girl front

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No, Benazir Akhtar is the weather presenter

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Originally Posted by mazadona10

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

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...beat me to it

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Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

Have you been reading my diary ?

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...the word and gives me the horn

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Originally Posted by mazadona10

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

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Hello Gareth 😂

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Originally Posted by RichardM

No, Benazir Akhtar is the weather presenter

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Not on national tv she isn't

Any decent journalists , reporters or weather forecasters on bbc wales today are soon snapped up by national bbc

Helen willetts , the foxy lady , left wales today to greater heights years ago

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Originally Posted by kendoddsdadsdogsdead

...the word and gives me the horn

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Opened the gate , that gave me the horn

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Originally Posted by Tuerto

**** me, i bet the ladies love it when you talk dirty to them :hehe:

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Didn't realise fantasies had to be about women. I'd take money over a woman tbh.

I don't like the smutty stuff,
health over wealth and so,
Stepping onto the stage at Red Rocks, a fcuk off stack of VOX AC30's and a thinline telecaster, (wrong set-up for the song)
but launching into Deep Purple's Burn.