Just got back - from Cowbridge

Visited Sludge's tip this morning. First time I'd seen him in three weeks but was soon reminded what a simply awful fellow he is. He was in a very jolly mood, which could only mean he had been up to no good as per usual.

I interrupted the cataloguing of his DVD collection. A small pile of five or six accounted for his comedy section, another of a similar number made up an assembly of feature films. Between those were three columns grouped together that stretched to the ceiling that he needed a stepladder to reach the tops of. "What genre are those?" I asked. He gurned lasciviously rather than spoke. "They are all porno?! There must be two hundred of them!" I wailed. "361, actually," he replied with a smirk.

He handed me three random ones. Anal Antics was the name of the first, Lesbo Lust was the next and, most disgusting of all, the other was Bra Busters Volume 9: Double D Dwarfs. "These are filth, filth and more filth!" I complained incredulously. "Do you really watch that stuff?" I enquired. "Frequently" was his shameless response. He handed me another. "This one's top notch smut, a classic. Quite local too," he remarked. The cover featured a woman I might have mistaken for having had her face pushed into a bowl of wallpaper paste until seeing its title. Boyo Bukkake Special: Bethan Blows Bargoed, it read.

Later, as he sat on his Conservative Party beanbag enjoying a Pot Noodle breakfast, he begun to happily reminisce about his many appearances before Bridgend Magistrates' Court. He chuckled most when he recalled being issued with the first Welsh ASBO order in the late 1990s which prohibited him from wearing a white coat or stethoscope and from carrying upon his person a speculum or torch in a public place unless gaining the prior written permission of both his probation officer and the Chief Constable of South Wales Police.

For years he'd plagued High Street's causing alarm to women by masquerading as a medical student. He could never twist his tongue around the word gynaecologist and instead would introduce himself as a junior fanny doctor to those he hoped to dupe. "Do you suffer from vaginal dryness, love?" would be his hopeful initial query. Provided they didn't scream, or swung their handbag at his swede, further questions would relate to persistent itchiness, an unpleasant odour and unusual discharges.

He lives in a block of four flats. The fella next door on the ground floor is a Black Mamba-puffing crank who's given to have his mates round for Gospel singing sessions beginning at 11pm, while the Irish couple directly above him practice their Riverdance moves for three hours every night. "The racket they make, I'm sure they wear steel toe cap pit boots," he groaned.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Organ Morgan.

Visited Sludge's tip this morning. First time I'd seen him in three weeks but was soon reminded what a simply awful fellow he is. He was in a very jolly mood, which could only mean he had been up to no good as per usual.

I interrupted the cataloguing of his DVD collection. A small pile of five or six accounted for his comedy section, another of a similar number made up an assembly of feature films. Between those were three columns grouped together that stretched to the ceiling that he needed a stepladder to reach the tops of. "What genre are those?" I asked. He gurned lasciviously rather than spoke. "They are all porno?! There must be two hundred of them!" I wailed. "361, actually," he replied with a smirk.

He handed me three random ones. Anal Antics was the name of the first, Lesbo Lust was the next and, most disgusting of all, the other was Bra Busters Volume 9: Double D Dwarfs. "These are filth, filth and more filth!" I complained incredulously. "Do you really watch that stuff?" I enquired. "Frequently" was his shameless response. He handed me another. "This one's top notch smut, a classic. Quite local too," he remarked. The cover featured a woman I might have mistaken for having had her face pushed into a bowl of wallpaper paste until seeing its title. Boyo Bukkake Special: Bethan Blows Bargoed, it read.

Later, as he sat on his Conservative Party beanbag enjoying a Pot Noodle breakfast, he begun to happily reminisce about his many appearances before Bridgend Magistrates' Court. He chuckled most when he recalled being issued with the first Welsh ASBO order in the late 1990s which prohibited him from wearing a white coat or stethoscope and from carrying upon his person a speculum or torch in a public place unless gaining the prior written permission of both his probation officer and the Chief Constable of South Wales Police.

For years he'd plagued High Street's causing alarm to women by masquerading as a medical student. He could never twist his tongue around the word gynaecologist and instead would introduce himself as a junior fanny doctor to those he hoped to dupe. "Do you suffer from vaginal dryness, love?" would be his hopeful initial query. Provided they didn't scream, or swung their handbag at his swede, further questions would relate to persistent itchiness, an unpleasant odour and unusual discharges.

He lives in a block of four flats. The fella next door on the ground floor is a Black Mamba-puffing crank who's given to have his mates round for Gospel singing sessions beginning at 11pm, while the Irish couple directly above him practice their Riverdance moves for three hours every night. "The racket they make, I'm sure they wear steel toe cap pit boots," he groaned.

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People like me don't need porn , we have natural flair

And it degrades women

Good to see you back on form Sludge 👍

Great stuff , brillant vistors summary from Organ Morgan ( you have great skill ) even better to know a Bluebird is on the mend and sourcing through valuable historical media , come Brexit and the return of VHS and Betamax this collection will surely be sought after , don' t suppose you got a copy of the classic banned horror video 'Driller Killer' if so upload it to the politics forum as a learning aid 😏

‘Bethan blows Bargoed’ 😂😂😂😂
Ffs stop writing about Bilderburg as you’re wasting your comedy genius 😂😂👏👏

What about the most famous porno of all - Debbie does Dowlais?