An email I just received.

[Colonel Cærdiffi]

Subject: Stormy affair and long-term relations.

Reply to: lionessasweety@yahoo.com

Good morning dear friend of mine. Please, don't feel astonished by the fact that I write to you and read the letter to the end. It's quite possible that our future lives depend on it. I'm Nadezhda and I'm from a huge country called Kazakhstan. Despite the fact that my country is big there is no men deserving mention. Men of my country aren't willing to build strong and serious relationship. I'm blossomed for that like a bright flower and I'm prepared to build a real love. I want love, hear kind words, and want to experience passion. I don't like drinking and smoking, I've never been married and I don't have kids. I like doing sports a lot, going to movies, museums art exhibitions and various galleries. I'm a purposeful person. I am sure we are able to build a sincere love together, all we need is to start talking to each other. Please, tell me more about what kind of person you are. I'll be waiting for your reply. Nadezhda.




Surely this is legit?

[bear grylls]

Don't, you'll give Sludge a coronary.

[surge]

Why is she emailing Brits if she doesn't like drink or smoking? Know your audience love.

[Harry Flashman]

Do you get that if you press the DSG button?

[Steve R]

You ****ing lucky bastard.

[Colonel Cærdiffi]

Why is she emailing Brits if she doesn't like drink or smoking? Know your audience love.

I was going to invite her round but I thought the "Good morning dear friend of mine." opener was a bit over-familiar, not to mention wholly inaccurate.

[redjk]

I've done some background checking for you, and I can confirm that Kazakhstan is really huge.

Looks like you're in here.

[Vimana.]

She is fed up of Borat - yes I think.

[Zenith]

Subject: Stormy affair and long-term relations.

@CardiffCityFC: TEAM NEWS - #CardiffCity subs: Moore, Fabio, Connolly, Adeyemi, Harris, Doyle, Revell.

[Arfur Europe]

I don't see a single mention of £1M inheritances, hidden gold bullion stores nor do I see a request for your bank details.

I'd say that to my untrained eye that you are absolutely in here guy, you jammy fugger.

p.s. don't worry about the recent marriage - she'll understand and will probably find a long distance liaison like this incredibly romantic. Like off a film she's seen or something.

[Der Kaiser]

Might have to take a trip to Boratland

Nadezhda could be a mans name.