Reply With QuoteTurn up drunk, you'll get sent home.
If asked why you're drunk at work, say you thought it fair to have a hangover in your own time.
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Say you couldn't get morning wood despite taking viagra the night before and everything. Off to see the urologist now
Turn up drunk, you'll get sent home.
If asked why you're drunk at work, say you thought it fair to have a hangover in your own time.
I used to take the sicky calls at a high school and one day a bloke rang up from a call box
down the road from the school ( I could hear the cars and kids in the background ).
He told me he was walking up the road to the school when a car tooted its horn and startled him
making him turn around and he walked into a lamp post and banged his head which made him throw up so he was going back home.
You couldn't make it up . could you ?
The motto on the wall in my school stated "He who is good at excuses is good at nothing else".
quality. i once knew a guy i played rugby with who called in sick for a training session because he drank a glass of water too quickly and got very dizzy!!Originally Posted by BlueWales wrote on Mon, 09 March 2015 12:28
BlueWales wrote on Mon, 09 March 2015 12:28I used to take the sicky calls at a high school and one day a bloke rang up from a call box
down the road from the school ( I could hear the cars and kids in the background ).
He told me he was walking up the road to the school when a car tooted its horn and startled him
making him turn around and he walked into a lamp post and banged his head which made him throw up so he was going back home.
You couldn't make it up . could you ?
Bloke? - obviously not a student then! ... the headmaster?
Old school hippy teacher ( but this happened in 1998 ).down the road from the school ( I could hear the cars and kids in the background ).I used to take the sicky calls at a high school and one day a bloke rang up from a call box
Tell them you dropped a frozen chicken on your foot in asda. it works every time
I once had to take a day off work because I'd been down the pub the night before and we decided to have a game of darts.
Dunno what the medical term is for it but somehow I managed to pull the tendon/muscle on the inside bit of my elbow and when I woke up in the morning I was in agony.
I wasn't on a wind up either I couldn't bend my arm without being in agony, I had massive problems getting out of bed and getting dressed and just saw no point in even trying to operate a computer mouse all day.
It was great though, it was a Friday and so I went to the chemist to get some cream and then went to the pub all day - afterall I could still bend my left arm
I've come in late before and simply said that I overslept. I've also come in late lots of times and said absolutely nothing at all.
As regards pulling a sickie: never done it, but I have no qualms about staying at home or going home if I'm feeling a bit rough and can't concentrate. I don't see the point in being seen to be in work if you are not actually doing any work. I average about 2 days off a year, which is a lot more than the average in the offices I work in. I've also left the office at lunchtime before because I was too hungover to work, but I took that as annual leave.
Best excuse I've ever heard from a junior: the neighbours' baby was screaming and I couldn't sleep, so I'm sleeping now. And one I would never challenge: someone hit my wife across the head with a baseball bat and she is in intensive care so I need to look after the kids.
To be honest, I don't give a shit if I think people are being a bit soft. They still have to do their work when they get back and as long as they do what I want/need them to do, I don't really care if they come in at 7am, 11am, work from bed or whatever.
True. They'd have nothing but pity for someone who shops in Asda.
Pharyngitis [ sore throat ]
Not a sickness excuse but I did have a colleague who rang in to say that he could not come to work because the budgie was egg-bound.
A mate of mine reminded me of an excuse I used in tech when we were apprentices. I strolled in late and the tutor was quite annoyed until I told him that the reason I was late was that the house had been burgled, he became sympathetic and asked if much had been stolen, fair play to him even he laughed when I told him that the only thing that was pinched was my alarm clock.
A mate of mine called in sick before because we were on the piss, used some standard excuse, bad back etc, but the problem was that he got so pissed that an hour later he called in sick again forgetting he'd already done it with a different excuse.
A mate of mine called in sick before because we were on the piss, used some standard excuse, bad back etc, but the problem was that he got so pissed that an hour later he called in sick again forgetting he'd already done it with a different excuse.
Pussy Riot went into a Russian supermarket and one of them took a frozen chicken and %*#%*/@" so imagine trying to explain that method of defrosting to your boss.
I phoned in sick from the toilet in Heathrow Airport just before boarding a flight to watch City play in Portugal, just as I started speaking to the boss a call for my flight came over the tannoy. Spent all weekend trying to stay out of the sun as a suntan would have shown up clearly against my short sleeved white overalls, trouble is I sat under a parasol outside a bar all day with my right arm in the sun so when I went for my back to work meeting my right arm was sunburnt and the rest of me matched my overalls. Got a final warning for that one!
Not always a winner, my sister was planning a shopping trip so she decided to phone in sick with that excuse, she clearly didn't think it through because she was working in llandough hospital at the time, as soon as she said that they told her they would send someone round to collect poo samples from her and she had to wait in all day.Diarrhea, no one in the history of mankind has ever questioned this. Any occasion, no one does.
Where under the Employment Act is your employer allowed to do that?Diarrhea, no one in the history of mankind has ever questioned this. Any occasion, no one does.This. Always a winner. Try not use the term "diarrhea" though. Come up with a euphemism. Stomach flu, food poisoning, gastric irritation etc.Not always a winner, my sister was planning a shopping trip so she decided to phone in sick with that excuse, she clearly didn't think it through because she was working in llandough hospital at the time, as soon as she said that they told her they would send someone round to collect poo samples from her and she had to wait in all day.
I don't know tbh, I think it was something to do with her working in the kitchens, I guess they had to check she hadn't got it from there? I thought it served her right anyway.Diarrhea, no one in the history of mankind has ever questioned this. Any occasion, no one does.This. Always a winner. Try not use the term "diarrhea" though. Come up with a euphemism. Stomach flu, food poisoning, gastric irritation etc.Not always a winner, my sister was planning a shopping trip so she decided to phone in sick with that excuse, she clearly didn't think it through because she was working in llandough hospital at the time, as soon as she said that they told her they would send someone round to collect poo samples from her and she had to wait in all day.
I just ask them to tell me whether its sick or family leave. I don't care about the sob story.
Use your sick days as you wish, they will either run out and you lose pay or, you never use them up and can be considered a bit of a reward.
If you drop a load of work on somebody else by being off sick on particular days then they'll soon get you back.
Had on lady who would regularly have Monday off hungover, I knew, but it was her decision. When she developed health problems and needed sick days, she had to take them as leave without pay as she'd used her contracted ones.
Tough shit then.
sorry to pry but what industry are you in that actually allows set sick days? a woman who called in sick every monday would get the boot in my place!
Is this in the UK? I think the US has the idea of "personal days" which I think is basically your holiday allowance, but you eat in to it when you take sick leave. I didn't think you could cap sick leave in the UK.
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