Please help

[Torchwood01]

I am very sorry for my probably bad english, my name is Dmitry, i'm from Russia and i need a little help of someone, who is living in Cardiff city.
There is a man, who thinks i'm living in UK (that's, in fact, is a pretty awkward situation, that has formed in several years) and i'm really need to take a parcel from it. I need someone, whos adress i can give. That's just a little cute postcard from a friend, nothing illegal, too personal, etc., and i'm not even asking for resending in to me, just a few photos to my email.
I'm really hoping for someone's help. I can ask to attach to a parcel a chocolate bar, little bit money or something like that if you want.

[Colonel Cærdiffi]

In Russia, parcel send you.

[Mrs Steve R]

Happy Birthday Baker.

[TH63]

Funny you should ask this, this is indeed your lucky day. I'm a member of the Nigerian royal family and have the sum of $150,000,000.00 stuck in a Russian bank. If you send me your bank details, I will arrange transfer of said sum o your account, then you can return it back to me, less a 10% fee

[Torchwood01]

I should have known that's probably looks like some spam or something. I've got a photo with this website on a background. Seriously, do i really look like some nigerian spamer? I just need your help.
kx5JpGqhUqs.jpg

[Torchwood01]

I have such a cute cat, who's trying to steal my computer mouse right now, how can you blame in something a man with such a cool cat?
u7X6fgVPoUw.jpg

[TruBlue]

I have such a cute cat, who's trying to steal my computer mouse right now, how can you blame in something a man with such a cool cat?
u7X6fgVPoUw.jpg

You are trying to trick Inspector Gadget aren't you?

[Mrs Steve R]

You are trying to trick Inspector Gadget aren't you?

That took a while.

[Steve R]

You are trying to trick Inspector Gadget aren't you?

[Torchwood01]

Come on, am i asking so much? Just an address and a little promise.

[Torchwood01]

..that's going to be harder, than i thought.
Here is a photo of my pretty much rissian passport. Now you do belive me?
cbtt7nkl.jpg
Also, there is a 2 hours difference between GMT and MSC. There was 4:30 when i said "about 4 hours".

[Steve R]

Do they take 20ps and 5ps now in Russia?

[Torchwood01]

If "ps" means "pence", it's about 20 rubles (yes, it's now about 1 pence for a ruble, thanks to Putin). For comparison one trip on a subway costs 32. If it's not, sorry, i don't understand you.

[Mrs Steve R]

If you don't want what is the parcel why not just send it anywhere?

[Torchwood01]

That's a postcard. I want it, but not necessary physically, photo will be enough. And you know, people usually asks if their letter delivered well or something.

[Mrs Steve R]

That's a postcard. I want it, but not necessary physically, photo will be enough. And you know, people usually asks if their letter delivered well or something.

Why not just be honest? it's much easier.

[Torchwood01]

Why not just be honest? it's much easier.

Okay, i'm probably need to tell about what's even going on. Several years ago i had a stupid crush about conspiracy and anonymously, so i was lying to everyone, that i'm living in another country. In about 2011 i met one girl in the russian facebook analogue VKontakte. We were working on some public page about TV-series together and as we eventually became pretty much friends she started to ask more about my "immigration expirience". I googled answers to save my status quo and pretty much told her everything about movin to another country... so she did. Atleast not UK, or that's all would be even more terrifying.
I feel very guilty for her. I just can't confess, that's my stupid lies turned a man to abandon her motherland, family and friends. I'm a really big jerk, i know.

[Mrs Steve R]

Okay, i'm probably need to tell about what's even going on. Several years ago i had a stupid crush about conspiracy and anonymously, so i was lying to everyone, that i'm living in another country. In about 2011 i met one girl in the russian facebook analogue VKontakte. We were working on some public page about TV-series together and as we eventually became pretty much friends she started to ask more about my "immigration expirience". I googled answers to save my status quo and pretty much told her everything about movin to another country... so she did. Atleast not UK, or that's all would be even more terrifying.
I feel very guilty for her. I just can't confess, that's my stupid lies turned a man to abandon her motherland, family and friends. I'm a really big jerk, i know.

I knew I shouldn't have even looked at this thread, I'm out.

[Dr Lecter]

Okay, i'm probably need to tell about what's even going on. Several years ago i had a stupid crush about conspiracy and anonymously, so i was lying to everyone, that i'm living in another country. In about 2011 i met one girl in the russian facebook analogue VKontakte. We were working on some public page about TV-series together and as we eventually became pretty much friends she started to ask more about my "immigration expirience". I googled answers to save my status quo and pretty much told her everything about movin to another country... so she did. Atleast not UK, or that's all would be even more terrifying.
I feel very guilty for her. I just can't confess, that's my stupid lies turned a man to abandon her motherland, family and friends. I'm a really big jerk, i know.

Morning Borat,

If you send me sexy time pictures of third most beautiful girl in all of Kazakhstan, I will help you. Don't worry my friend I'm not Jew with horns.

Dr Lecter.

[sanctum of blue]

Okay, i'm probably need to tell about what's even going on. Several years ago i had a stupid crush about conspiracy and anonymously, so i was lying to everyone, that i'm living in another country. In about 2011 i met one girl in the russian facebook analogue VKontakte. We were working on some public page about TV-series together and as we eventually became pretty much friends she started to ask more about my "immigration expirience". I googled answers to save my status quo and pretty much told her everything about movin to another country... so she did. Atleast not UK, or that's all would be even more terrifying.
I feel very guilty for her. I just can't confess, that's my stupid lies turned a man to abandon her motherland, family and friends. I'm a really big jerk, i know.

Just own up!!!!!!!
the more you lie, the greater she will hate you when the truth comes out.

[Torchwood01]

I just wanna show her photos of "delivered" postcard, thank, and pray to all roman gods, that she'll never visit UK or atleast Cardiff.
Again, please help.

[Torchwood01]

...
Probably everyone gone to sleep and minding that's 4am in Moscow i should do so too. Jee, i just hope that thread won't get deleted and as i wake up there will be someone to help me.

[adz-a32]

Actually 2 hours I believe Adz I am 3 but should be 4, except at the last moment this Government decided not to do 'summer time' for some reason known only to the particular minster who probably made a fortune out of it somehow.

The time he posted had a 1 hr 30mins tho but fair enough, i didnt know the difference was that small!

[Rjk]

Wint one if you heartless bastards take a photo of a postcard and send it to baker?

[adz-a32]

Ima give in... my address is




123 Fake Street