I tell you what's lazy

[B. Oddie]

Having somebody else w**k you off.

[Dr Lecter]

Having somebody else w**k you off.

Little tip for you.

Lay down with your arm behind your back.
Wait for it to go numb.
Knock one out and it'll feel like someone else is doing it.
For extra pleasure wear a velvet glove and pretend its some posh bint doing the stroking.