I visited Sludge this afternoon to see how he's getting on. I know that some here would love to see him again so that he might repay the money he borrowed from them. He's still using a walking stick following his leg op last year. He's hoping to be back to full health before the new dogging season begins in late March.

Must say he was rather grumpy. His telly had gone on the blink just as Loose Women was about to start. He's also been formally banned for life from entering Cowbridge Conservative Club. A committee enquiry had concluded that he was guilty of wetting the tip of his opponent's cue during their first round Christmas snooker tournament encounter. "It had to be done," he confessed. "I was miles behind with just the colours remaining when he nipped off for a quick slash. When he returned I won on the black after he gave away 64 points in fouls."

It was then he became quite emotional and nostalgic. "Do you know," he said in words tinged with melancholy, "I became a member there on my 18th birthday back in 1984. The miners strike was on and I can clearly remember celebrating with everyone else in the bar while watching news footage of the pitmen getting battered by Met police batons. Oh, how we laughed when they were carted away on stretchers, and the Chairman, Jeremy Nobbreath, actually climbed onto a table to cheer on the boys in blue."

He confided that the most difficult aspect of his convalescence is overcoming boredom. "It's not healthy watching 12 hours of internet porn each day," he acknowledged. "Mind," he added, "it's healthier than the 16 hours a day I used to watch." He wants an allotment or somewhere he can potter about. "I'd like a smallholding," he said.

For some amusement I teased him. "But according to several of your ex's," I said, "you already have a small holding; that's why they finished with you because you didn't measure up in the tickling stick department." "Bollocks," was his one-word response.