Death or Um Bongo?

[gabbsthenewt]

Three men get stranded on an island after after their plane crashes but they come away unhurt. After they have come round a bit they decide to explore the island. Eventually they find an encampment and walk into it hoping to find a way to get home. To their amazement they find that the islanders seem to speak english and they explain to them that they were in a plane crash and were lucky to be alive. The islanders tell the men to wait whilst they decide what should be done. After an hour or so, all of the islanders encircle the men and the leader walks up to them and declares that they have decided what to do. He walks up to the first man and says "I give you a choice to make. Do you choose death or Um Bongo?" Flabbergasted at the choice put before him he chooses Um Bongo. "He chooses Um Bongo" declares the leader. As soon as he says this all the islanders let out a screech and begin chanting "Um Bongo, Um Bongo, Um Bongo". They then grab the man and push him up against a tree and all the male islanders take turns to do him up the bumhole with their protrusions until he succumbs and kicks the bucket. They then turn their attention to the second man and again the leader puts to him the choice "Death or Um Bongo" The man thinks to himself for a while and then decides that he could probably handle the Um Bongo experience better than his friend did and so declares "Um Bongo" Again all the islanders screech and begin chanting "Um Bongo, Um Bongo, Um Bongo". They take the second man up against the tree and subject him to the same treatment as the first and eventually he can't take any more and passes away. The third man, having witnessed all of this is ready for whats coming. "Death or Um Bongo", the leader puts to him. Straight away the man shouts out "I choose death". A massive gasp emits from the islanders.

The leader then walks up beside the man and declares

"He chooses death.

Death by Um Bongo"

What say you?

[itkman]

I thought it was a fruity drink.

[PerryJason]

They drink it in the Congo

[Steve R]

1981 have been on the phone, they want their joke back.

[itkman]

1981 have been on the phone, they want their joke back.

Nah, that was Death or Maw Maw, this one's Death or Um Bongo.

[LordKenwyne]

Um bongo pretty easy choice.

[BLUETIT]

If they wanna try and get past the piles, good luck to 'um.

[Vimana.]

If they wanna try and get past the piles, good luck to 'um.

Death or TMI..?

Kill me now.

[Vimana.]

Oh yeah - I lost my train of thought - the way I heard it back in the days of Flares, 10 Number 6 and a pint of Hemelling - it was 'Death or Umgawe'

[BlueWales]

Three men get stranded on an island after after their plane crashes but they come away unhurt. After they have come round a bit they decide to explore the island. Eventually they find an encampment and walk into it hoping to find a way to get home. To their amazement they find that the islanders seem to speak english and they explain to them that they were in a plane crash and were lucky to be alive. The islanders tell the men to wait whilst they decide what should be done. After an hour or so, all of the islanders encircle the men and the leader walks up to them and declares that they have decided what to do. He walks up to the first man and says "I give you a choice to make. Do you choose death or Um Bongo?" Flabbergasted at the choice put before him he chooses Um Bongo. "He chooses Um Bongo" declares the leader. As soon as he says this all the islanders let out a screech and begin chanting "Um Bongo, Um Bongo, Um Bongo". They then grab the man and push him up against a tree and all the male islanders take turns to do him up the bumhole with their protrusions until he succumbs and kicks the bucket. They then turn their attention to the second man and again the leader puts to him the choice "Death or Um Bongo" The man thinks to himself for a while and then decides that he could probably handle the Um Bongo experience better than his friend did and so declares "Um Bongo" Again all the islanders screech and begin chanting "Um Bongo, Um Bongo, Um Bongo". They take the second man up against the tree and subject him to the same treatment as the first and eventually he can't take any more and passes away. The third man, having witnessed all of this is ready for whats coming. "Death or Um Bongo", the leader puts to him. Straight away the man shouts out "I choose death". A massive gasp emits from the islanders.

The leader then walks up beside the man and declares

"He chooses death.

Death by Um Bongo"

What say you?

I say I heard this joke 30 years ago and it was " Death or Bunga" which seems more apt , especially for Italians.