Zenith. You have been too soft and now need to be tough. Time to get her out of your life completely. You will be in a very different place in five years time with someone you are happier with. You wait and see.
Most of us have been through what you have. It runs deep when you are hurt by someone you love but you will bounce back in time.

Oh and one other thing. Start supporting a proper team like the mighty Reading FC. It will do wonders for your love life.