Oh dearOriginally Posted by TH63
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Oh dear
man up. you need some chips a pie
chipspie
At last a response which isappropriate to this awful thread
Don't bother in getting back at her. You have to genuinely move on. Getting back at her will only fire your anger etc . its easy to say 'move on' buts its your only choice. How many guys do you know that can't move on and remain single for sometime? This can last for several years, because that guy can't move on and an unhealthy distrust kicks in.
We've all been there mate "It's not you it's me"; "I do love you, I just need some time alone" ; "there's nobody else, I just need a break" yadder yadder yadder, all bullshit cliches which basically add up to -
"We're done, I don't want to be with you any more, I've met this other bloke but I don't want to hurt your feelings too much because then I'll feel bad about myself and it's easier (on me) to make up some bullshit reason rather than tell you the truth "
They're a different breed mate, I spent 20 years trying to work them out and gave up trying to understand them 20 years ago.
My advice.
1. Change the locks. Now
2. Put her stuff in bin bags but don't stick them outside, put them somewhere out of sight until she eventually rocks up to get them.
3. If she comes over, says she's changed her mind and wants to stay, don't give in. It was her choice to leave, and if you give in now, chances are you'll being going through all this again in the future.
4. Spend time with your mates, go for a few beers and have fun.
5. Don't go out looking for women, any knock backs will just make you feel worse. Sooner or later one will just walk into your life from nowhere. I had a broken engagement once, went out with the next girl a couple of times but knocked her on the head after a couple of weeks, then met another girl a couple months after that and have been married to her for 27 years.
The best advice the OP will receive hasn't been conveyed yet. Mrs Steve R, our resident agony aunt, will be along shortly.
She gave out advice last time which he totally ignored. Now the situation has escalated.
People in love don't listen to advice but still give it anyway.
Being F****d over is one way of looking at it, another would be that she has let you see the person she really is. You sound much stronger now than you did a month ago, it's good that any thoughts of a reconciliation have ended, it should make it easier to move on
As others have said, be prepared for a sob story, change the locks and sort out any joint bank accounts or online accounts /sites that she has access to. Sounds like this has the potential to get ugly on her part, and people can be really spiteful at times like these
I sent you a PM a few days ago, Zenith.
By the way, you might want to ask Mike to delete this thread once the dust settles - as you may not want it as a permanent record on the Internet.
That's a very good point
too late, the nsa ( and 497 other agencies have the info now ) just ask any of the tinfoil hat brigadewaaaaaaay toooooo late
Zenith. You have been too soft and now need to be tough. Time to get her out of your life completely. You will be in a very different place in five years time with someone you are happier with. You wait and see.
Most of us have been through what you have. It runs deep when you are hurt by someone you love but you will bounce back in time.
Oh and one other thing. Start supporting a proper team like the mighty Reading FC. It will do wonders for your love life.
So update is she came with her parents last night to move all of the things. Pretty much every single thing is gone now so I am glad about that. I brought it up to her mother about not being happy this situation has been prolonged by her and not me, which is when she said "why did you threaten to put her things outside?" I said because she is sleeping with some other guy and I am obviously not happy she is willing to do that whilst she has led me on and all her shit is in the house. Of course the mother backed up for her and said she cleaned the house last week, I just laughed and said yeah that's great.
Bad thing is she came today for what I was hoping to be the final time I see her for a while to sort out the bills. As soon as they were done, I gave her the opportunity to clear herself of guilt and admit she had lied about loads of issues over the last few weeks. She didn't so I gave some proof and she still didn't so that's up to her and achieved nothing apart from it showed I cannot trust her for shit, who knows she might try and steal whilst she still has access.
I asked for the keys and she refused until she gets her half of the deposit back, which I suppose is fair but I said as soon as I can give you the money I will and we won't have to see each other in a few weeks but she didn't like that at all. So all in all, I'm going to sadly have to see her again at some point in the next month but I'm hoping she is willing to post her keys through the door and be done with it. I thought she wouldn't be so ****ing awkward, but nothing surprises me from here on.
Living well is the best revenge.
You are a idiot for assuming everybody and every circumstance is the same. With that attitude I'm sure you are a barrel of laughs to be around!
You say you got over her yet you are on here hanging out your dirty laundry. Get over it.
What are you, 13?
You are a idiot for assuming everybody and every circumstance is the same. With that attitude I'm sure you are a barrel of laughs to be around!
You say you got over her yet you are on here hanging out your dirty laundry. Get over it.
What are you, 13?
As nearly everyone else has said, you need to put yourself first now. There are loads of good women around, so don't let this mentalist put you off. I also think the best advice on finding a better woman is to actually stop 'actively' looking. You'll be surprised at what happens!
I asked her politely this evening to leave her keys at the house when it's done. She refused even though she has stopped paying any contribution to the house.
Gonna have to get the landlord involved asap, but he's on holiday for the next week.
Why is she being so awkward?
She's turned into a ****ing menace mate. I said to her yesterday come at 9am Wednesday, she said I can't now I have been asked to work, I said ok then. Then she said me and my parents will come around to the house Wednesday evening at 7:30pm, I work at home so I am not happy but accepted because I just want her ****ing out of here. Then she slips up and says she's catching a train back to Cardiff at 10am... I said I thought you were working that's why you couldn't come? She says I never said that. I said you did point blank on the phone, then I realised she had also text me saying that as well.
Just such a massive bullshitter, why lie? Just makes it so much more difficult and now refusing to hand the keys over is beyond. Why would she want to come back?
Perhaps she is having second thoughts but seriously do not go back into a relationship. She sounds highly manipulative. Whatever your feelings towards her you will never be able to trust her again. It took me two years to properly get over my wife walking out. I have been with my partner for over 21 years now and have felt for many years that my wife did me a favour when she left.
You will find someone better than this who you will be with long term. It will happen. Just don't sell yourself short with your ex.
Is her name on the lease?
Sadly, but if I can get us all to agree to get her off of the agreement with the Landlord hopefully he will tear it up and start a new one. He is a great landlord to be fair and I let him know the situation last week, very understanding. Unfortunately it can't be resolved right now because he is on holiday.
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