Christmas boffing list

[Robin Friday's Ghost]

Greta scacchi

Good god

Around the time of White Mischief she was out on her own.

[mrbluejay]

Seeing as she's on the tele all the time lately, cooking channels...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtS2Ikk7A9I

[Organ Morgan.]

OP has been very reticent about revealing details of his recent date at an Abercynon hostelry, which is unsurprising as the evening didn't end in a bang.

The lady contacted him via a Facebook Doggers group. She made out she was slim, attractive and mid 20s, while he pretended to be a mature businessman with a formidable dong. Turned out she was 38, 5'1" and 19 stone. Upon seeing her he was so underwhelmed he headed straight for the bogs where he tried and failed to make good his escape through a window.

His mood improved immeasurably upon returning to the table after she made it plain she was desperate for a rub... and wasn't averse to being arse-ended. She was also prepared to pay for the meals and drinks, an offer he took less than a nanosecond to accept. He came prepared for every eventuality; inside a jacket pocket he'd secreted a lubricant - Premium Swarfega (59p per tub from any Poundstretchers).

Two-and-a-half hours, seven courses and many pints later came the time for him to do the biz. She ushered him to a nearby secluded lane. "Let's see what you got, boyo," she demanded.

Sludge was shy about disclosing more about the evening, but after some prompting he succumbed. "She was less than impressed," he conceded. "Not surprised," I retorted, "she expected to see a large banger, instead she was squinting at a three-inch noodle". That offended him. "I'll have you know it's nearer to four inches than three," he replied abruptly.

Anyway, according to him he failed to deliver due to the cold, poor lighting and too much flesh to navigate. Asked whether she was angry, he said: "gauging by the force she lamped me with her handbag, then yes she was".

[William Treseder]

I like to talk philosophy and psychology following sex

I can see your point. If you’ve paid for an hr, you have to get your moneys worth for the other 59mins 30 secs!

[Vimto]

Seeing as she's on the tele all the time lately, cooking channels...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtS2Ikk7A9I

Delicious and voluptuous.

[Badly Ironed Shirt]

Janet Ellis in her blue peter days

She was a sort

Nigella Lawson could butter up my Christmas Log all through the holidays.

[Mrs Steve R]

And we have it all within the palm of our hands

Nice image.

OP has been very reticent about revealing details of his recent date at an Abercynon hostelry, which is unsurprising as the evening didn't end in a bang.

The lady contacted him via a Facebook Doggers group. She made out she was slim, attractive and mid 20s, while he pretended to be a mature businessman with a formidable dong. Turned out she was 38, 5'1" and 19 stone. Upon seeing her he was so underwhelmed he headed straight for the bogs where he tried and failed to make good his escape through a window.

His mood improved immeasurably upon returning to the table after she made it plain she was desperate for a rub... and wasn't averse to being arse-ended. She was also prepared to pay for the meals and drinks, an offer he took less than a nanosecond to accept. He came prepared for every eventuality; inside a jacket pocket he'd secreted a lubricant - Premium Swarfega (59p per tub from any Poundstretchers).

Two-and-a-half hours, seven courses and many pints later came the time for him to do the biz. She ushered him to a nearby secluded lane. "Let's see what you got, boyo," she demanded.

Sludge was shy about disclosing more about the evening, but after some prompting he succumbed. "She was less than impressed," he conceded. "Not surprised," I retorted, "she expected to see a large banger, instead she was squinting at a three-inch noodle". That offended him. "I'll have you know it's nearer to four inches than three," he replied abruptly.

Anyway, according to him he failed to deliver due to the cold, poor lighting and too much flesh to navigate. Asked whether she was angry, he said: "gauging by the force she lamped me with her handbag, then yes she was".

[Badly Ironed Shirt]

Victoria Coren is a clever lass, but all I'm interested in are those boobs. If David Mitchell can pull her, then I reckon I've got half a chance.

[Badly Ironed Shirt]

It's Christmas, which means Dr Who has his Tardis out. If I could time travel, I'd quite like to go back 50 years and take Michelle Phillips up Creeque Alley. I'd pop back to Swinging London, and have my way with Patti Boyd whilst George Harrison was busy playing with his ukulele.

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Around the time of White Mischief she was out on her own.

She was pure class, very sexy lady , gorgeous in the player as well

[Mrs Steve R]

Nigella Lawson could butter up my Christmas Log all through the holidays.

I'd probably like Nigella if I were a bloke.

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

I can see your point. If you’ve paid for an hr, you have to get your moneys worth for the other 59mins 30 secs!

It would be stupid not to bill, stupid

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

It's Christmas, which means Dr Who has his Tardis out. If I could time travel, I'd quite like to go back 50 years and take Michelle Phillips up Creeque Alley. I'd pop back to Swinging London, and have my way with Patti Boyd whilst George Harrison was busy playing with his ukulele.

Michelle Phillips , in her day , simply stunning

Didn't fancy the other one though

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Victoria Coren is a clever lass, but all I'm interested in are those boobs. If David Mitchell can pull her, then I reckon I've got half a chance.

She's intelligent and attractive , it's a winner

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Seeing as she's on the tele all the time lately, cooking channels...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtS2Ikk7A9I

Christ no , she's built like a prop forward !!

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

OP has been very reticent about revealing details of his recent date at an Abercynon hostelry, which is unsurprising as the evening didn't end in a bang.

The lady contacted him via a Facebook Doggers group. She made out she was slim, attractive and mid 20s, while he pretended to be a mature businessman with a formidable dong. Turned out she was 38, 5'1" and 19 stone. Upon seeing her he was so underwhelmed he headed straight for the bogs where he tried and failed to make good his escape through a window.

His mood improved immeasurably upon returning to the table after she made it plain she was desperate for a rub... and wasn't averse to being arse-ended. She was also prepared to pay for the meals and drinks, an offer he took less than a nanosecond to accept. He came prepared for every eventuality; inside a jacket pocket he'd secreted a lubricant - Premium Swarfega (59p per tub from any Poundstretchers).

Two-and-a-half hours, seven courses and many pints later came the time for him to do the biz. She ushered him to a nearby secluded lane. "Let's see what you got, boyo," she demanded.

Sludge was shy about disclosing more about the evening, but after some prompting he succumbed. "She was less than impressed," he conceded. "Not surprised," I retorted, "she expected to see a large banger, instead she was squinting at a three-inch noodle". That offended him. "I'll have you know it's nearer to four inches than three," he replied abruptly.

Anyway, according to him he failed to deliver due to the cold, poor lighting and too much flesh to navigate. Asked whether she was angry, he said: "gauging by the force she lamped me with her handbag, then yes she was".

Abercynon roundabout is a trap ........one way lies the hell of the lesser spotted aberdare kebab house girl , the other merthyr , where no man gets out alive

[elytillidie]

Joanne Whalley

Remember her in the singing detective ?

She was a sort

As was Gina Bellman in another Dennis Potter, Blackeyes.

[G rangetown Blue]

The Trivago girl

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

As was Gina Bellman in another Dennis Potter, Blackeyes.

Yes very attractive lady , fancied her in coupling as well

[BlueWales]

Karen Gillan.

[Badly Ironed Shirt]

Karen Gillan.

Jenna Coleman for me.

[Badly Ironed Shirt]

The girl on Maccy Blue's avatar. Whenever he posts, I always take time to read what he has to say. Well, I intend to, but that picture scuppers my plans.

[Organ Morgan.]

Abercynon roundabout is a trap ........one way lies the hell of the lesser spotted aberdare kebab house girl , the other merthyr , where no man gets out alive

What's the roundabout and other distractions got to do with anything? The fact is you gave her nothing! The poor lass barely had enough left in her purse for the bus fare home because of the amount of grub and booze you necked.

[Vimto]

Christ no , she's built like a prop forward !!

I think I'll take up touch rugby :D

[jamieccfc]

Christ no , she's built like a prop forward !!

Feck off!
Be all over her belly button in seconds