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Thread: The Mrs is leaving me

  1. #26

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by stan butler View Post
    I dont get it
    I take it you aren't very good on countdown either?

    Even your sister Olive would get that lol

  2. #27

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My wife left me because of my obsession with Gilbert O'Sullivan - Alone again, Naturally.



    My wife and I are both chained to the bed listening to an Animals CD play over and over again after a bondage session went wrong.

    We gotta get outa this place.

  3. #28

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    When my first wife left me things got a bit nasty, in court the judge said he was awarding her £300 per week maintenence...I said thats very good of you I will try to give her a couple of quid myself.

  4. #29
    International Mrs Steve R's Avatar
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    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My husband said he's leaving me because of my obsession with 'Who wants to be a millionaire'
    I said 'Is that your final answer?'

  5. #30

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Back in the 70's I had an American pastry cook as a girlfriend.

    She eventually decided she'd had enough of me and said I'm leaving.

    I said " Bye , bye Miss American pie ".

  6. #31

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    in the immortal words of Chicago

    "If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest belly of me
    Uh uh uh uh no baby please don't go,
    And if you leave me now, you'll take away the very belly of me
    Uh uh uh uh no baby please don't go
    Uh uh uh uh girl I just want you to stay , and feed my belly ""

  7. #32

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by life on mars View Post
    in the immortal words of Chicago

    "If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest belly of me
    Uh uh uh uh no baby please don't go,
    And if you leave me now, you'll take away the very belly of me
    Uh uh uh uh no baby please don't go
    Uh uh uh uh girl I just want you to stay , and feed my belly ""
    Did they write that at 25 or 6 to 4 ?

  8. #33

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My missus left me over my obsession with football, it was a pity really, we'd been together for just over two seasons

  9. #34

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWales View Post
    Did they write that at 25 or 6 to 4 ?
    Large glass of sherry beats

  10. #35

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My wife left me because of my obsession with Dusty Springfield. Now I just don't know what to do with myself.

  11. #36
    International Mrs Steve R's Avatar
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    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My husband is leaving me because of my obsession with Looney Tunes.
    That's all folks...

  12. #37

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee View Post
    My son asked me why his sister is called Teresa. I explained that my wife loves Easter and that Teresa is an anagram of Easter, so that's why we chose it. He thanked me for my explanation. I replied, "No problem, Alan".

  13. #38

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Split up with my missus over her obsession of the TV series Friends. It was mutual really, she reckons we were always stuck in second gear.

  14. #39

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Steve R View Post
    My husband left me because of my obsession with touching pasta.
    I'm feeling cannelloni right now..
    Think this is my best

    Special mentor for the Alan one..

  15. #40

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised to hear it.

  16. #41

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My wife said to me will you bloody stop singing that fecking Oasis song Wonderwall
    I said Maybe...........

  17. #42

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by insider View Post
    My wife said to me will you bloody stop singing that fecking Oasis song Wonderwall
    I said Maybe...........

  18. #43
    International Mrs Steve R's Avatar
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    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Steve says he's leaving me because of my obsession with Only Fools and Horses.
    I said "I'll fetch the suitcase from the van"

  19. #44

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Steve R View Post
    Steve says he's leaving me because of my obsession with Only Fools and Horses.
    I said "I'll fetch the suitcase from the van"
    My wife is leaving me over my obsession with made up Shakespearean quotes. As the bard wrote in The Tempest - "She can go f*** herself".

  20. #45

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My wife left me because I'm too insecure.
    No wait, she's back. She just went to make a cup of tea.

  21. #46

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My wife made the allegation
    "I think you've been having an affair with that Welsh slag from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch".
    I said, "How can you say such a thing?"

  22. #47

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My girlfriend accused me of stalking her!!
    Well, she’s not actually my girlfriend.

  23. #48
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    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    I bring you breakfast in bed and all you can say is who are you and how did you het into my apartment

  24. #49

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    My Mrs keeps threatening to leave me. It's really upsetting me. Im not building my hopes up anymore.

  25. #50

    Re: The Mrs is leaving me

    Quote Originally Posted by insider View Post
    My wife said to me will you bloody stop singing that fecking Oasis song Wonderwall
    I said Maybe...........
    I wish I'd thought of that

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