I was enjoying a beer by the river this weekend when I saw a woolly haired terrier barking at a swan. Like most of us who have had a dog as a pet I knew that he was saying something like : "Woof, woof. Oi, oi, you. You long necked poof. If I could swim I'd go in there and kick your butt".
The swan glided towards the river bank. If he had a voice he would have said "There's no need to dive in. I'll come across to you."
This made the dog even angrier. "Come on then, let's have you. You weird looking wan*er", he barked.
Of course, he didn't think he'd actually have to fight the swan because he was on land that was some kind of river thing. Wrong. In an instant the swan was out of the river and standing next to him. After the first few wacks from the swan's wings the dog was dizzy. He turned around in a circle. He didn't know where he was. The next two blows sent him off whimpering to his owner. The beery loutish onlookers laughed and cheered. The triumphant swan looked at them and pushed out his chest as if to say "All you knobs can F. off as well".