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Thread: STEP DAUGHTERS

  1. #1

    STEP DAUGHTERS

    Anyone else on here have an absolute nightmare of a Step daughter?

    I'm at my whits end and its driving me crazy ....... starting to effect my relationship BIG TIME

  2. #2

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by SABlue View Post
    Anyone else on here have an absolute nightmare of a Step daughter?

    I'm at my whits end and its driving me crazy ....... starting to effect my relationship BIG TIME
    How long have you been dating her?

  3. #3

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    How old is she?

  4. #4

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by J R Hartley View Post
    How old is she?
    17 - Knows everything and does absolutely NOTHING ..... just very abusive. calls her mother and myself all the names under the sun..... Born with a silver spoon in her mouth (one of those)

  5. #5
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    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by SABlue View Post
    17 - Knows everything and does absolutely NOTHING ..... just very abusive. calls her mother and myself all the names under the sun..... Born with a silver spoon in her mouth (one of those)
    It's not a step-child thing it's an age thing, and has been with us for hundreds of years.
    Mark Twain said, "When I was 18 my father was so stupid I couldn't talk to him, but by the time I was 24 he had learned so much that I could have some really good conversations with him.

    Look on the bright side, it's not a blood relationship. At least you can walk away and forget her, her mother can't!
    Just keep calm, tell your wife you are not going to get involved in the girl's management, and then don't get involved, even if it means biting your lip and leaving the house for an hour.
    She will either learn or be made to learn.

    (For the benefit of the pedantic:- I paraphrased Twain's words, I couldn't be arsed to look them up on google to quote them verbatim, unlike some on here are probably already doing)

  6. #6

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by SABlue View Post
    17 - Knows everything and does absolutely NOTHING ..... just very abusive. calls her mother and myself all the names under the sun..... Born with a silver spoon in her mouth (one of those)
    I think there's your answer.
    Give it a couple of years and she'll be through the other side and you'll all be friends again

  7. #7

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by xsnaggle View Post
    It's not a step-child thing it's an age thing, and has been with us for hundreds of years.
    Mark Twain said, "When I was 18 my father was so stupid I couldn't talk to him, but by the time I was 24 he had learned so much that I could have some really good conversations with him.

    Look on the bright side, it's not a blood relationship. At least you can walk away and forget her, her mother can't!
    Just keep calm, tell your wife you are not going to get involved in the girl's management, and then don't get involved, even if it means biting your lip and leaving the house for an hour.
    She will either learn or be made to learn.

    (For the benefit of the pedantic:- I paraphrased Twain's words, I couldn't be arsed to look them up on google to quote them verbatim, unlike some on here are probably already doing)
    I do ....... But its doing my head in !!!!!! I just want to throttle the little COW

    I've never in my LIFE met a child like her - Once picked up my beer and threw it in my face ..... You can just imagine. Its got to the stage now that I don't even want to go out for family dinners, just can't be bothered being in the same room as her .... You can imagine what type of position this puts her mother in !!!!!!

    Shes a very very VILE CHILD

  8. #8
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    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by SABlue View Post
    I do ....... But its doing my head in !!!!!! I just want to throttle the little COW

    I've never in my LIFE met a child like her - Once picked up my beer and threw it in my face ..... You can just imagine. Its got to the stage now that I don't even want to go out for family dinners, just can't be bothered being in the same room as her .... You can imagine what type of position this puts her mother in !!!!!!

    Shes a very very VILE CHILD
    She is only a vile child because she is allowed to be. If you make the mother deal with it she either will or you have the ability to walk away. The more you react to her the more she will perform, because she gets a reaction.

    Ideally her mother should pack her bags and tell her to either unpack them again and behave or take them with her as she leaves. If mother won't do that tell her to pack yours. see what happens!!

    I promise you, you don't want to let it get to you as it appears to be. I've been there and all the misery now seems worth it now because of your relationship with the mother but you will look back on it as time wasted as you get older. Give them an ultimatum and stick with it. If you don't you will regret it later.

  9. #9

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by SABlue View Post
    I do ....... But its doing my head in !!!!!! I just want to throttle the little COW

    I've never in my LIFE met a child like her - Once picked up my beer and threw it in my face ..... You can just imagine. Its got to the stage now that I don't even want to go out for family dinners, just can't be bothered being in the same room as her .... You can imagine what type of position this puts her mother in !!!!!!

    Shes a very very VILE CHILD
    I think her mother should kick you out.

  10. #10
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    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by Louth View Post
    I think her mother should kick you out.
    It would probably be the best thing that could happen to him on reflection.

  11. #11

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by xsnaggle View Post
    It would probably be the best thing that could happen to him on reflection.
    Read between the lines, its all about him.
    He should be coming out with, where can we get counselling / advice etc?
    He takes the 'vile' option

  12. #12
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    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by SABlue View Post
    I do ....... But its doing my head in !!!!!! I just want to throttle the little COW

    I've never in my LIFE met a child like her - Once picked up my beer and threw it in my face ..... You can just imagine. Its got to the stage now that I don't even want to go out for family dinners, just can't be bothered being in the same room as her .... You can imagine what type of position this puts her mother in !!!!!!

    Shes a very very VILE CHILD
    I've been there, for a long time my daughter and Steve didn't get on and I found myself stuck in the middle of them both, you need to remember that you are getting attention from one of the most important people in her life and she's going to feel put out by that, the good news is she will soon grow up, these days she gets on better with him than I do

  13. #13

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by Louth View Post
    Read between the lines, its all about him.
    He should be coming out with, where can we get counselling / advice etc?
    He takes the 'vile' option
    Jog on

  14. #14

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by Louth View Post
    Read between the lines, its all about him.
    He should be coming out with, where can we get counselling / advice etc?
    He takes the 'vile' option
    Cut him some slack, he's just being honest. It sounds like he's at the end of his tether.

  15. #15

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Steve R View Post
    I've been there, for a long time my daughter and Steve didn't get on and I found myself stuck in the middle of them both, you need to remember that you are getting attention from one of the most important people in her life and she's going to feel put out by that, the good news is she will soon grow up, these days she gets on better with him than I do
    I hope so ...... but its been 4 years already, My missus has already made the comment that she has a better relationship with me than her own father. I used to get involved with her arguments but have been shot down from all directions ..... Learnt that lesson very quickly so no longer get involved whatsoever, I'm just finding it extremely hard at the moment listening to the way she verbally abuses her mother to the point that my missus is in tears ..... Then apologizes the next morning and cracks on like nothings ever happened.

    I just wanted to find out if others on CCMB are having the same sort of issues and obviously get a little off my chest, have a little rant or so ....... You know what I mean

  16. #16

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by SABlue View Post
    Anyone else on here have an absolute nightmare of a Step daughter?

    I'm at my whits end and its driving me crazy ....... starting to effect my relationship BIG TIME
    Could I suggest you keep her off "whits end".

    He may still have a house in Penarth , but he left the club some time ago now.

  17. #17

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    I suggest steeping her tampons in chilli extract. I would be severely pissed off if something wasn't done about her throwing beer in your face by her mother. As has been said above, bite your lip. It will cause a rift between you and your missus as she will be throw it back at you saying you don't back her up etc. Just be honest with and tell her how she is causing so much trouble you have had to back down. Let her sort the problem out. Oh, and throw the chilli extract away once used.

  18. #18

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    I'm afraid I have no advice but wish you all the best. Life gets tougher the older you get. The youngsters on here will figure that out soon enough.

  19. #19

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Being a step parent is a harder job than being a parent. I've got 3 step kids, none girls though, and they did in the past come very close to splitting up me & Mrs Monk. If I was you I'd would take Mrs Blue away for a weekend and try and have a sensible discussion about the girl's behaviour, ask Mrs Blue what she thinks can be done to resolve the issues. Explain to her that it hurts you to see Mrs Blue being treated so badly by her daughter, and that you need to come to some agreement on how you can both resolve the problem. It's then a contract between you both to try and get her to act like an adult. Don't forget, whilst you might feel it is Mrs Blue's responsibility to resolve the issue, she needs your strength to do so. You knew when you hooked up that there was a 3rd person in the relationship, so it's a joint venture getting the problem resolved.








    Other than that, sling the bitch out on the street.

  20. #20

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    I am no expert in the subject of happy families but setting up home with a partner and children in the house represents far more complexity and personal dynamics than some people appreciate, myself included the first time around. My second long term partner would not mix her children and partner being under one roof and we waited years until they both left home.

  21. #21

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by Maccy Blue View Post
    I suggest steeping her tampons in chilli extract. I would be severely pissed off if something wasn't done about her throwing beer in your face by her mother. As has been said above, bite your lip. It will cause a rift between you and your missus as she will be throw it back at you saying you don't back her up etc. Just be honest with and tell her how she is causing so much trouble you have had to back down. Let her sort the problem out. Oh, and throw the chilli extract away once used.
    What Chili extract do you recommend

    On a serious note ...... Thanks for all the advice, I feel alot better having gotten it off my chest.

  22. #22

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by SABlue View Post
    What Chili extract do you recommend

    On a serious note ...... Thanks for all the advice, I feel alot better having gotten it off my chest.
    Vocalising (or writing) this kind of thing can be really helpful. It lets you take a step back from the problem and see it in perspective rather than being embroiled in the hellish existence of it. Even if you don't take on any of the suggestions it's a good thing to do.
    They encourage us to do it in work, called peer consulting. Although nobody does because we are all too British

  23. #23

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    good luck

    I havent got any step children, got 2 girls of my own and they can be hard work at times, oldest is 15 and i know she is stressed with school and how life is ahead of her, at times i think she is my best mate, then other times i could kill her

    i can only imagine how hard it is with a step child, as they will always have it over you that you are not the " real " parent

    good luck

  24. #24

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    My 13 year old daughter going through the Kevin & Perry stage doesnt seem quite so bad after reading this. She sounds absolutely nuts!!!

    I have two daughters, 13 and 9, not step, but they dont listen to a word I, or their mother, says to them, and they dont lift a finger in the house. Its a hardship to get them to take their plates from the table to the sink, or their rubbish in the bin. Its our own fault for spoiling them and I do think some more tough love is required, but if it got to the point where they are throwing beer in my face then serious questions would need to be asked.

  25. #25

    Re: STEP DAUGHTERS

    Quote Originally Posted by blue matt View Post
    good luck

    I havent got any step children, got 2 girls of my own and they can be hard work at times, oldest is 15 and i know she is stressed with school and how life is ahead of her, at times i think she is my best mate, then other times i could kill her

    i can only imagine how hard it is with a step child, as they will always have it over you that you are not the " real " parent

    good luck
    A friend of mine was seeing a girl with a 7/8 year old daughter and would often get that thrown in his face. Needless to say hes not with her anymore.

    I think being a step parent is a thankless task, made even more difficult with teenage hormones, but at 17 she should surely know better, and should be grown up enough to want whats best for her mother.

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