If you were in charge of football.....

[PhyllisStant]

To avoid grappling and close proximity during set pieces. Prior to the ball being played in, all players should be forced to grease up and strip down to speedos, and the tannoy system should be playing Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" at full tilt.

[cyril evans awaydays]

Every player should have electrodes attached to their testicles that can be triggered if they move below a minimum speed once the fourth official identifies their number for substitution.

[lardy]

Any of these suggestions would fit in nicely in this pile of crap article:

https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...move-goalposts

[Des Parrot]

You've spelt pelanty wrong mate.

& I've been on this FOrUm long enought to not to take short cuts. Shirley I shud no BetTeR!

[jamieccfc]

To avoid grappling and close proximity during set pieces. Prior to the ball being played in, all players should be forced to grease up and strip down to speedos, and the tannoy system should be playing Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" at full tilt.

Nobody wants to see this

[BLUETIT]

When teams are arguing about a pelanty, a set of plastic tables and chairs are brought on the pitch, so the officials can have a cuppa.

[lostinnewforest]

Any player crossing him/herself or making any other religious gesture totally irrelevant to the game of football should be sent to meet his/her maker immediately.

[jamieccfc]

Any player crossing him/herself or making any other religious gesture totally irrelevant to the game of football should be sent to meet his/her maker immediately.

Except for Messi of course?

[Forest Green Bluebird]

Managers should be tied to the dug-out using elastic. Any attempt to leave the technical area will see them flung back into their seat. Furthermore, any uneaten dinner will be kept and reheated for their next meal.

[PhyllisStant]

any player wearing gloves or goalies wearing trackies should also be forced to wear wellies and a snorkel parker, fully zipped up

[PhyllisStant]

Any player who hoofs the ball out of the ground will be forced to go and get it - even if it means having to lay down on the road and hook it our from under a van with your foot. Failure to do so will entitle the neighbours to burst it with a kitchen knife.

[Trigger]

When someone dives I'd employ Big Sam to get involved. https://m.imgur.com/gallery/zsRjBJ8

[lardy]

When someone dives I'd employ Big Sam to get involved. https://m.imgur.com/gallery/zsRjBJ8

Sam's finest moment right there.

[delmbox]

if you hit the woodwork three times it's a goal

[Tuerto]

if you hit the woodwork three times it's a goal

I like that. For one game a season, every team has to play without a goalkeeper, but this means that the ten outfield players are allowed to handle the ball at any given opportunity at anytime during the game, although no player is allowed to actually assume the position of Goalkeeper.

[BLUETIT]

If a player wants to spit/gob, he has to go to the halfway line to the "spitoon"

f ucking disgusting habit, esspecially with all these cameras on them