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Thread: Advice needed - playing Santa

  1. #1

    Advice needed - playing Santa

    Asking for advice on this might be one of the more regrettable things I'll post on here, but here goes:

    I've volunteered to be Santa Claus at a local Christmas fayre. Apart from being able to say "Ho hi ho" and having a natural Santa physique, anyone with any good advice on pulling off a good performance?

    Thanks

  2. #2

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Make sure your sack is clean and full

  3. #3

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Get the flu vaccine

  4. #4

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Find some assistants by contacting the National Elf Service.

  5. #5

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Don't ply the kids with City stats.

  6. #6

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Leave out the ‘hi’ & put another ‘ho’ in 👍

  7. #7

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Don't ask if the child's mother want to have a rummage around Santa's sack.

  8. #8

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee View Post
    Asking for advice on this might be one of the more regrettable things I'll post on here, but here goes:

    I've volunteered to be Santa Claus at a local Christmas fayre. Apart from being able to say "Ho hi ho" and having a natural Santa physique, anyone with any good advice on pulling off a good performance?


    Thanks
    Kiddy fiddler

  9. #9

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    If the plan is to say "ho hi ho" you probably need the ability to distinguish an elf from a dwarf!

  10. #10

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by Rjk View Post
    Get the flu vaccine
    THIS!

  11. #11

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Mr half wasp. I think you have had some very sage advice on here today.

  12. #12

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    If the kid says they want a Swansea shirt then tell them they'll only get that if they haven't been good. If they've been good they'll get a Cardiff shirt.

  13. #13

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee View Post
    Asking for advice on this might be one of the more regrettable things I'll post on here, but here goes:

    I've volunteered to be Santa Claus at a local Christmas fayre. Apart from being able to say "Ho hi ho" and having a natural Santa physique, anyone with any good advice on pulling off a good performance?

    Thanks
    Stop lying to kids.

  14. #14

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee View Post
    Asking for advice on this might be one of the more regrettable things I'll post on here, but here goes:

    I've volunteered to be Santa Claus at a local Christmas fayre. Apart from being able to say "Ho hi ho" and having a natural Santa physique, anyone with any good advice on pulling off a good performance?

    Thanks
    Make sure you get the minimum wage ,and you get due relegated tea breaks, dont let the capitalist world exploit you,just because they supply a free uniform and beard .

  15. #15

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by life on mars View Post
    Make sure you get the minimum wage ,and you get due relegated tea breaks, dont let the capitalist world exploit you,just because they supply a free uniform and beard .
    Relegated tea breaks, its not even Christmas ffs!

  16. #16

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by life on mars View Post
    Make sure you get the minimum wage ,and you get due relegated tea breaks, dont let the capitalist world exploit you,just because they supply a free uniform and beard .
    How the f*ck did you manage to work the dreaded ‘relegated’ word in in a Father Christmas thread????????

  17. #17

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Would you need to get a CRB check?

  18. #18

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by MacAdder View Post
    Would you need to get a CRB check?
    I had to be CRB'ed

    I am " Santa clause " for our local swimming club, 4 sessions so 4 goes at it for me

    My advice, dont wear your new " quechua hiking boots " that you are breaking in, as your youngest will spot them and point them out to everyone

  19. #19

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Is Eric helping the Police with their enquiries yet?

  20. #20

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Sit on your hands.

  21. #21

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    I'd play him at centre-half, he can't be any worse than Bamba (who also likes to give away gifts).

  22. #22

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by splott parker View Post
    How the f*ck did you manage to work the dreaded ‘relegated’ word in in a Father Christmas thread????????
    It is a football thread ffs

  23. #23

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by life on mars View Post
    It is a football thread ffs
    ‘Advice Needed - Playing Santa’, you’re surely not promoting that as a football thread? 😂😂😂😂

  24. #24

    Re: Advice needed - playing Santa

    Quote Originally Posted by blue matt View Post
    I had to be CRB'ed

    I am " Santa clause " for our local swimming club, 4 sessions so 4 goes at it for me

    My advice, dont wear your new " quechua hiking boots " that you are breaking in, as your youngest will spot them and point them out to everyone
    Have you been knocking off his Mrs Matt? Lol

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