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Thread: The Things Mums Say!

  1. #1

    The Things Mums Say!

    I was in Tesco earlier and there were two kids giving their mother hell, poor woman trying to fill the trolley up, tired etc and the kids are having a pop at each over (Most of us have been there) By this time she'd had enough and she pointed towards the security bloke and said 'If you two don't stop, that man over there in the blue uniform will arrest you and put you in the Tesco cell, underneath the store' It seemed to work Got me thinking of my own mother pretending to call the Kids Home when my sister and i were kicking off when we were kids, we'd go ****ing hysterical! Poor Mothers, they don't half put up with some shit from kids! Did anyone else's Mum have a way of making you or your siblings behave?

  2. #2
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    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Wait till your father gets home.......................... That was more than enough!!!

  3. #3

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Overheard my mother talking to one of her friends about me, “Price of football boots!!! And he’ll only have those La di dahs”

  4. #4

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by splott parker View Post
    Overheard my mother talking to one of her friends about me, “Price of football boots!!! And he’ll only have those La di dahs”
    Quality I can remember my mother arriving home with my first ever pair of football boots, they were a size one from Olivers, they'd managed to give me two 'right footed' boots, i can remember the old man trying to bend the toe of the shoe the opposite way in order to replicate a left boot Didn't work.

  5. #5

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    I told my two boys, when they assured me they cleaned their teeth before bed (they hadn't!) that the men in the lab can forensically test to see if the toothbrush had been used. They ran upstairs and cleaned their teeth immediately.

  6. #6

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Quality I can remember my mother arriving home with my first ever pair of football boots, they were a size one from Olivers, they'd managed to give me two 'right footed' boots, i can remember the old man trying to bend the toe of the shoe the opposite way in order to replicate a left boot Didn't work.
    Oliver’s Spot Kick👍

  7. #7

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by splott parker View Post
    Oliver’s Spot Kick👍
    Sizzlers from Primark-They'd make you run faster.

  8. #8

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    What kids say.....

    Was once in a queue at the checkout in Tesco. Woman with full conveyor of shopping. Little girl sat in the trolley seat....

    “Mummy, Mummy!!!”

    Why were you eating Daddy’s willy this morning

    Woman walks straight out of store leaving shopping on the belt

    20 years ago... still tell the story whenever opportunity presents

  9. #9

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by StraightOuttaCanton View Post
    What kids say.....

    Was once in a queue at the checkout in Tesco. Woman with full conveyor of shopping. Little girl sat in the trolley seat....

    “Mummy, Mummy!!!”

    Why were you eating Daddy’s willy this morning

    Woman walks straight out of store leaving shopping on the belt

    20 years ago... still tell the story whenever opportunity presents
    Another harmless thread infected by smut 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  10. #10

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    If you don't eat all of your dinner then I'll warm it up in the morning and you can eat it for breakfast

    Did that ever happen?

  11. #11

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by xsnaggle View Post
    Wait till your father gets home.......................... That was more than enough!!!
    This

  12. #12

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    I always wondered who the evil Dr Banardo was I'd be sent to live with.

  13. #13

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    If you fall off there and break your leg dont come running to me.

  14. #14

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by xsnaggle View Post
    Wait till your father gets home.......................... That was more than enough!!!
    Never in my house, my old man used to get in from work every night about 8ish saying he’d worked late, yeah right, he’d been in The New Dock Tavern since about 5. My mother was a bit of an old fashioned Irish stock Catholic matriarch, she was the disciplinarian, the old man liked a pint, the quiet life with the attitude of ‘You sort it out Mary’. Don’t think he ever raised his voice to me while my mother threatened me with the boiler stick on many an occasion 😂😂😂

  15. #15

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    When walking in the room with food or a drink
    “You drop that and I’ll drop you”

  16. #16

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Don’t start crying or I’ll give you something to cry for😂😂😂

  17. #17

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Me - Mum, can I stay out late tonight?
    Mum - 'Ask your father'
    Me - Dad, can I stay out late tonight?
    Dad- 'Ask your mother'

  18. #18

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    When my kids were young, I used to tell them” if the ice cream van was playing it’s tune, it meant they had run out of ice cream.
    My wife went mental with me when she found out!!

  19. #19

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    My Mother used to threaten my Sisters and I with my Nan.
    Rumour had it she gave my Cousin a bloody good hiding at one time for upsetting his Mother.
    Scared the shite out of us when that threat came.

  20. #20
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    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    "If you fall out of that tree and kill yourself I'll never speak to you again"

  21. #21
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    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueArmy 86 View Post
    This
    Thing was, hard as my father was, he never lifted a finger to any of us. Just him being 'mad' was enough. The house would be in total silence until we went to bed.

  22. #22

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by StraightOuttaCanton View Post
    What kids say.....

    Was once in a queue at the checkout in Tesco. Woman with full conveyor of shopping. Little girl sat in the trolley seat....

    “Mummy, Mummy!!!”

    Why were you eating Daddy’s willy this morning

    Woman walks straight out of store leaving shopping on the belt

    20 years ago... still tell the story whenever opportunity presents
    😂😂

  23. #23

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by jeremy corbyn View Post
    ����
    My mother when I'd done something wrong...
    'Come here so I can hit you'
    As if Mam

  24. #24

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by xsnaggle View Post
    Thing was, hard as my father was, he never lifted a finger to any of us. Just him being 'mad' was enough. The house would be in total silence until we went to bed.
    My dad always used to count slowly, but forcefully, to three.
    But he never got past two.

  25. #25

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    When a mother grabs her kid by the arm and tries to smack him while he tries to get away and forces her to rotate on the spot whilst flailing at him I sometimes wonder if kids circle in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere...

  26. #26

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Interesting thread! My mother was a feisty woman considering she was 5ft and 7 stone soaking wet. She'd always intervene if she saw something that was going on in the street that she knew was wrong and generally did a great job of it. She was in Tescos in Albany Road one day when she was about 85 and witnessed a rough woman badly beating up her very small child. With no hesitation she grabbed the woman's hand and gave her a right dressing down and threatened to call social services and get the kids taken away frpm her. It worked, and after the woman left several people came up to her to congratulate her on her actions. She told them how they should all be ashamed of themselves for standing and just watching before letting an 85 year old sort it out, too bloody right mam

  27. #27

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Bloop View Post
    If you don't eat all of your dinner then I'll warm it up in the morning and you can eat it for breakfast

    Did that ever happen?
    Every Monday, cracking fry up ������

  28. #28

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    My nana used to say: "Don't pick your nose, have a biscuit".

  29. #29
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    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    The dreaded boiler stick. I'd forgotten all about that! 😆😅🤣

  30. #30

    Re: The Things Mums Say!

    I'll smack you so hard you won't sit down for a week.

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