Dudley Moore

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Oh fecking hell, oh I've got the horn

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Oh fecking hell, oh I've got the horn

Derek and Clive produced some really edgy stuff for their time.

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Derek and Clive produced some really edgy stuff for their time.

Ain't that the truth !

[kendoddsdadsdogsdead]

..there was the same ****ing bogey lying on the bedspread

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..there was the same ****ing bogey lying on the bedspread

He'd been taking it ! , of a night !!

[RichardM]

..there was the same ****ing bogey lying on the bedspread

The bogie that was as big as the Titanic ..

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The bogie that was as big as the Titanic ..

Don't try and cross the Atlantic on a bogey !

[RichardM]

As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was a man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid

Jump! You f*****, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his f***ing neck
There was no blanket

Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy f*****s

Ahhhrrrr-soles

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was a man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid

Jump! You f*****, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his f***ing neck
There was no blanket

Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy f*****s

Ahhhrrrr-soles

Classic

[kendoddsdadsdogsdead]

nurse....

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nurse....

Phewp.....oh Christ.....nurse?

[Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond]

nurse....

I am NOT going to change your sheets again, Mister Hastings!

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Who's that famous philosopher bloke ?

Er.....des o Connor ?

[life on mars]

Peter Cook: And I'd also like to say something about the difference between English comedy and American comedy. We, uh, we tend not to have very many sort of zappy one-liners or anything like that.

Dudley Moore: No. It's more sophisticated, you know, really. More, um... understated.

Peter Cook: Well, it's more understated, I'd say.

Dudley Moore: Mm.

Peter Cook: Very understated, very subtle.

Dudley Moore: Yes.

Peter Cook: In fact, we've been here two years performing without a laugh.

[jon1959]

Peter Cook: And I'd also like to say something about the difference between English comedy and American comedy. We, uh, we tend not to have very many sort of zappy one-liners or anything like that.

Dudley Moore: No. It's more sophisticated, you know, really. More, um... understated.

Peter Cook: Well, it's more understated, I'd say.

Dudley Moore: Mm.

Peter Cook: Very understated, very subtle.

Dudley Moore: Yes.

Peter Cook: In fact, we've been here two years performing without a laugh.

[kendoddsdadsdogsdead]

......who took any notice..

[MacAdder]

I'll tell you who f***ing listened, no f***er!
And the band played on

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......who took any notice..

Facking no one ! All those kents !

[fingers]

I knew a lady from Amsterdam
She filled her arsehole full of clams
She was a stupid Dutch bitch

She had lobsters up her arse
She was f**king working class
She was a stupid Dutch bitch

[light up the darkness]

You know what’s going to happen when you go to heaven? We’re going to have this tape played endlessly. As we burn.

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Crawfey? The queen mothers nanny ?