Original poster is fibbing about heading to Tesco to purchase Y-Fronts because he buys all his undies (and vests) second-hand from a charity shop for 25p a pop.
It's why he's forever urgently scratching a certain part of his anatomy. Well, that and one or more STDs.
I asked him recently what he thought of Anne Hegerty. She's someone who appears on a quiz show called The Chase and is so big she may have a postcode all to herself. "First time I saw her? It was instant boner time," gushed the dirty dogger, "and she's had the same stiffening effect every time I've set eyes on the sort since then."
This Christmas, as with all prior CCMB annual poster awards ceremonies, he'll be a shoe-in to lift the Rotter of the Year crown. I understand from a source close to Moggis Towers that for the first time in nearly a decade another moniker had been nominated, that of Croesy Blue, but was rejected because it was suspected he nominated himself by using a second dummy account.