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Thread: Things you'd introduce into football......

  1. #1

    Things you'd introduce into football......

    I know this has probably been done before, but if you could add something angd get away with it, then what would it be? A little bit of fun..

    Canned laughter if a player rolls around dying in order to get another player sent off. Or how about the Benny Hill theme tune when it starts kicking off....

  2. #2

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    I know this has probably been done before, but if you could add something angd get away with it, then what would it be? A little bit of fun..

    Canned laughter if a player rolls around dying in order to get another player sent off. Or how about the Benny Hill theme tune when it starts kicking off....
    You've just set yourself up for some faux outrage, and I predict you are about to be called a misogynistic sexist nazi ****.

  3. #3

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by Wales-Bales View Post
    You've just set yourself up for some faux outrage, and I predict you are about to be called a misogynistic sexist nazi ****.
    Do you reckon? I loved Benny Hill when i was a kid, especially when he slapped that little bald bloke on the head or was chasing attractive women around in public while they were in their underwear-I reckon i'll get away with it


  4. #4

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Do you reckon? I loved Benny Hill when i was a kid, especially when he slapped that little bald bloke on the head or was chasing attractive women around in public while they were in their underwear-I reckon i'll get away with it

    That is clearly baldism, cue the usual suspects....

  5. #5

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    If VAR is here to stay, put a “Tom & Jerry” cartoon on whilst they wait to make a decision

  6. #6

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by BLUETIT View Post
    If VAR is here to stay, put a “Tom & Jerry” cartoon on whilst they wait to make a decision
    Brilliant idea, that's the kind of thing we need in the game. How about instead of sending a player off in a game he has to play the rest of the Match in one of those 'It's a Knockout costumes'

  7. #7

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Passing to a player near you instead of just seeing who can kick or throw the ball the furthest

  8. #8

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by ManBearPig View Post
    Passing to a player near you instead of just seeing who can kick or throw the ball the furthest
    Next manager. Hired.

  9. #9

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by ManBearPig View Post
    Passing to a player near you instead of just seeing who can kick or throw the ball the furthest
    Now you're just being daft, stick to things which are more realistic, like Tom And Jerry....

  10. #10

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    No yellow cards for diving. Instead the opposing side get a free foul on that player with no comeback.

    Get rid of VAR but no need to make anyone redundant. Instead give the VAR twat a remote control which issues a non lethal but still uncomfortable electric shock to any player talking back to the referee.

    Managers have a similar tool and can deploy it against their own players in the event of a corner/free kick that doesn't clear the first man.

    Power penalties. The defending Side can elect to blindfold the penalty taker but if he scores, his side automatically win the game

    US style salary capping

    Monkeys riding dogs for half time entertainment

  11. #11

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    An option halfway through the season to sell your season ticket back to the club

  12. #12

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    A proper offside rule - no 'is he going for the
    ball?' or 'is he interfering with play/line of sight',etc.
    If he's behind the last player when the ball is kicked forward, he's offside.

    Four linos, the game can afford it, NFQAT.

    Get rid of VAR, adopt the egger system.

  13. #13

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimistic Nick View Post
    No yellow cards for diving. Instead the opposing side get a free foul on that player with no comeback.

    Get rid of VAR but no need to make anyone redundant. Instead give the VAR twat a remote control which issues a non lethal but still uncomfortable electric shock to any player talking back to the referee.

    Managers have a similar tool and can deploy it against their own players in the event of a corner/free kick that doesn't clear the first man.

    Power penalties. The defending Side can elect to blindfold the penalty taker but if he scores, his side automatically win the game

    US style salary capping

    Monkeys riding dogs for half time entertainment
    I love the penalties thing, would go for that.

  14. #14

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by The Bloop View Post
    An option halfway through the season to sell your season ticket back to the club
    Or, the worst player on the pitch has to go and watch a fan at his or her job for 90 minutes.

  15. #15

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    More of a change than an introduction but I'd change the the penalty area. It seems a little unfair that you can get fouled at the furthest corner of the penalty area and get a kick in front of the goal from 12 yards.

    I'd probably have a 12 yard semi circle around the goal. Something like that. Don't see why you couldn't have a direct free kick with no wall as well.

  16. #16

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by Divine Wright View Post
    More of a change than an introduction but I'd change the the penalty area. It seems a little unfair that you can get fouled at the furthest corner of the penalty area and get a kick in front of the goal from 12 yards.

    I'd probably have a 12 yard semi circle around the goal. Something like that. Don't see why you couldn't have a direct free kick with no wall as well.
    Like this idea, penalties just for clear scoring chances .

    Give managers challenges like in tennis for VAR.

    Make games 30 minutes a half but clock stops when ball goes out of play or any stoppage.

    Get rid of youth teams instead put money into school football system. Then after complete GCSEs there is a draft system like in Collage football in the US. Would also mean kids would have to focus on studies to play in their school team.

    theres way to much pressure on parents being pressure to travel ridiculous distances for accadamies which probably produce a pro about 5% or less.

  17. #17

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    when a free kick us awarded, book any **** that runs to the ball to stop a quick one being taken..they're all at it now..
    If a sub is made in added time add a full minute on

  18. #18

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by BLUETIT View Post
    If VAR is here to stay, put a “Tom & Jerry” cartoon on whilst they wait to make a decision
    I remember Dutch TV showing Tommy Cooper at half-time in a major football game in the seventies.

  19. #19

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Stop clock on time wasting, lengthy stoppages, subs, non quick free kicks etc. No need for injury time which is never accurate.

  20. #20

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    I know this has probably been done before, but if you could add something angd get away with it, then what would it be? A little bit of fun..

    Canned laughter if a player rolls around dying in order to get another player sent off. Or how about the Benny Hill theme tune when it starts kicking off....
    An open interview with the ref after a game,imagine a ref criticising a manager ‘I thought Sir Alex had a stinker today’

  21. #21

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by The Bloop View Post
    An option halfway through the season to sell your season ticket back to the club
    😂

  22. #22
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    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by ManBearPig View Post
    Passing to a player near you instead of just seeing who can kick or throw the ball the furthest
    Now you're being really silly aren't you?

  23. #23

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by The Bloop View Post
    An option halfway through the season to sell your season ticket back to the club


    P.S. I have decided to forgo the pleasure of using mine today.

  24. #24
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    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Players who talk back to the referee should be made to leave the pitch and drink a pint before coming back on.
    If you swear at the referee you should drink the beer and eat a pasty of your choice before returning to the game
    Second time it’s two pints and two pasties

  25. #25

    Re: Things you'd introduce into football......

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Or, the worst player on the pitch has to go and watch a fan at his or her job for 90 minutes.
    Murphy can come and watch me achieve nothing for 90 mins any time he likes!!

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