Reply With QuoteWhy does Santa always come through the chimney?
Cos he knows better than to try the back door.
| + Visit Cardiff FC for Latest News, Transfer Gossip, Fixtures and Match Results |
I’ve bought the wife an aesthetic leg leg for Christmas!
It’s not her main present....... just a stocking filler 😉
Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Cos he knows better than to try the back door.
Every Christmas I'd come running downstairs to the big pile of presents and start unwrapping them as fast as I could. Sometimes there would be fights over who had the best toys but we would all make up later and sit down to have a three hour lunch before watching TV for the rest of the day.
I really miss working at the Royal Mail sorting office.
I remember when I was a boy lying there in bed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward moment when he got dressed and left.
Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee
They're quite attractive these days I believe.
Very pleasing
If you went to a str!p club at lunchtime and it wasn't open, would the sign on the door say...
"SORRY, WE'RE CLOTHED"
Oh Dan
That's up there with escaped goat
I've just heard that Sky Sports are broadcasting next year's World Origami Championships.
It's on Paper View....
I picked this guy up in my taxi today. He told me to take him to court as he had to make an appearance,
"What are you here for?" I asked?
"My bankruptcy hearing. You might as well
come too."
Bastard!!
They've also got the Reverse Origami Championships. I can't wait to see it unfold.
My new party trick.... I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out my arse tied together.... seriously. I shit you knot !
I once entered the blindfold wanking championship. No idea where I came.
This isn't a joke but a quote from Shirley Temple, the childhood actress. (Yes, actress. not actor)
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”
What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner?
Twerky
How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger
what is david camerons favourite xmas song ?
All I want for xmas is EU
Why didn’t anyone bid for Donner & Blitzen on eBay.
They were two deer
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed
I've just been to Selfridges to get the missus a Christmas present ...
The lying fookers don't even sell fridges.
My sons local Tourette's support group had a bake sale last week to raise money for the group.
I bought some lovely 'shutthefucupcakes'.
I'm passing this on because it worked for me this morning. A Dr on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of
Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminunprscriptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now.Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two al hve a Marry Crispmouse.....Xx
Posting Permissions
