An alternative Cardiff City decade

[Bluebirdman Of Alcathays]

2010 In January Cardiff sign a back-up centre forward, Zbigniew Błaszczykowski (which really tests those still struggling to spell Bothroyd) and in May, with our first choice out injured, ZB comes on to score two goals as Cardiff win 4-3 in a pulsating play-off final against Blackpool.

2010/11 - With Malaysian businessman Vincent Tan now on board and providing the funds, Cardiff invest for the Premier League. There are promising results followed by a few thrashings but we finish 16th and survive.

2011/12 - Tan, now enjoying the love and prestige, invests again and we finish... 16th. He feels the results don't match the outlay and Jones is fired.

2012/13 - Alan Shearer is offered the job and seeing as he doesn't have to negotiate something so arduous as a promotion, accepts. Sadly, his teams are as dull as his analysis and with City bottom at Christmas, he resigns. Alan Pardew takes over but can't rescue us.

2013/14 - Tan unveils plans to change our colours, stating we need the luck of the red to stay in the Premier. But there is a mass protest and he backs down. His pride wounded, Tan reduces his investment and Pardew is only able to guide us to 10th.

2014/15 - Tan sells up to an American investment group. Pardew is surprisingly offered the Newcastle job and the new owners name Cobi Jones as manager. Research shows that Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein are shareholders.
Fans have never felt so auspicious but after a promising start City finish 11th.

2015/16 - We start badly and Jones is gone by November and two other poor appointments see City relegated.

2016/17 - The Americans are getting bored and look to sell any promising youngsters but there aren't any. They sell up to a consortium led by a Dutch businessman called Vincent Tan Gogh. Craig Bellamy is installed as manager and we win the League 1 title.

2017/18 - We go from strength to strength and finish 2nd, but at the end of the season there are accusations of antagonism against Bellamy. The Alexa in his office has recorded a series of rows and the Daily Mail has all the evidence, including Bellamy's row with the Alexa. He is offered a way out by Schalke and takes it.

2018/19 - James Rowberry is promoted from within with old hand, Neil Warnock, as his assistant. Warnock says modestly, "I've always been indifferent to Cardiff, if I'm honest, but they're quite close to home and I'll help any way I can." Going into October we're adrift at the bottom and the roles are reversed. "James will learn from this," says Warnock, "I'm still learning at my age. There's too much swagger and ego about people, really, and we're all just trying to get by. For instance, I voted to leave the EU but I can see now I was wrong. Life is a litany of mistakes and learning and yet look how easily we forget our humility."

We fight to 18th but can't avoid relegation.

2019 - Warnock resigns in the summer. "Sharon and I want to try new things and have booked a yoga retreat in the Carpathians. I'm 70 and even now I feel I barely even know myself, if I'm honest." Rowberry is given the top job again but struggles once more. In October he's sacked and Neil Harris is hired. There's a mix of wariness and tentative hope as we enter the new decade.

(Also, in this dimension, Sludge writes to a weather presenter and they bond over their shared love of Avenged Sevenfold. They remain together and happy to this day).

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Very good guitarist that synyster gates bloke