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Thread: What's your favourite fantasy ?

  1. #1

    What's your favourite fantasy ?

    I am playing in central midfield for city , a sort of willie boland who scores goals type

    We are away at those bloody plastic scousers , last game of the season

    It's our first season back in the big time and we have gone from bottom of the league at xmas to within a point of liverpool

    Who ever wins this game , wins the league

    With two minutes left the ball falls to me outside the area and I curl out a belter that finds the corner of the net

    Cue bedlam in the packed away end , people are invading the pitch

    Order is restored and we have to see out five minutes of injury time

    I am at the centre of everything , end to end tackles , goalline clearances , the lot

    Eventually the final whistle goes , the city fans run onto the pitch and I am carried in their arms all around the pitch , stopping at the top to flick the vicks to the spoilt gits

    After the game before boarding the bus I am approached by Salma Hayek who says she has always been a cardiff fan due to her docks ancestry , she gives me her number and we spend the summer making love on her luxury yacht in Florida

    Sadly fame goes to my head , I develop a methadone habit and end up in a bed sit on newport road

  2. #2

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Stacey Dooley isn't going to be too happy!

  3. #3

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by valleys caveman View Post
    Stacey Dooley isn't going to be too happy!
    Why? Was she in goal for Liverpool.

  4. #4

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by valleys caveman View Post
    Stacey Dooley isn't going to be too happy!
    She's a luckily girl her surname, didn't start with an S

  5. #5

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    I am playing in central midfield for city , a sort of willie boland who scores goals type

    We are away at those bloody plastic scousers , last game of the season

    It's our first season back in the big time and we have gone from bottom of the league at xmas to within a point of liverpool

    Who ever wins this game , wins the league

    With two minutes left the ball falls to me outside the area and I curl out a belter that finds the corner of the net

    Cue bedlam in the packed away end , people are invading the pitch

    Order is restored and we have to see out five minutes of injury time

    I am at the centre of everything , end to end tackles , goalline clearances , the lot

    Eventually the final whistle goes , the city fans run onto the pitch and I am carried in their arms all around the pitch , stopping at the top to flick the vicks to the spoilt gits

    After the game before boarding the bus I am approached by Salma Hayek who says she has always been a cardiff fan due to her docks ancestry , she gives me her number and we spend the summer making love on her luxury yacht in Florida

    Sadly fame goes to my head , I develop a methadone habit and end up in a bed sit on newport road
    Better than your fantasy of Renee Zellwegger in a Liverpool shirt and crotchless shell suit bottoms.

  6. #6

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

  7. #7

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Winning the lottery. My life can stay exactly the same. I just don't want to have to worry about money.

  8. #8

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by mazadona10 View Post
    Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.
    Have you been reading my diary ?

  9. #9

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by NYCBlue View Post
    Winning the lottery. My life can stay exactly the same. I just don't want to have to worry about money.
    **** me, i bet the ladies love it when you talk dirty to them

  10. #10

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    I am playing in central midfield for city , a sort of willie boland who scores goals type

    We are away at those bloody plastic scousers , last game of the season

    It's our first season back in the big time and we have gone from bottom of the league at xmas to within a point of liverpool

    Who ever wins this game , wins the league

    With two minutes left the ball falls to me outside the area and I curl out a belter that finds the corner of the net

    Cue bedlam in the packed away end , people are invading the pitch

    Order is restored and we have to see out five minutes of injury time

    I am at the centre of everything , end to end tackles , goalline clearances , the lot

    Eventually the final whistle goes , the city fans run onto the pitch and I am carried in their arms all around the pitch , stopping at the top to flick the vicks to the spoilt gits

    After the game before boarding the bus I am approached by Salma Hayek who says she has always been a cardiff fan due to her docks ancestry , she gives me her number and we spend the summer making love on her luxury yacht in Florida

    Sadly fame goes to my head , I develop a methadone habit and end up in a bed sit on newport road
    Hold on, what happened to the one you've related to me ad infinitum?

    Let me remind you. It's Rome 1977, the scene of Liverpool's first European Cup triumph. With five minutes remaining the Scousers are 0-2 down. Bill Shankly is sweating snobs on the touchline. His hopes and dreams had all but evaporated until he finally paid notice to the louder and increasingly desperate chants reverberating throughout the mass ranks of Merseyside's unemployed who filled half the stadium. "We want Sludge!" they demanded.

    Shankly points at you sat on the bench casually leafing through that month's issue of Reader's Wives Big Tits Special Edition. "Get on and bag a double, then we can beat them in extra time," he instructed. "I'll easily score a hat-trick in the time remaining, boss, and we'll enjoy a sing song in the communal bath rather than have extra time" you replied nonchalantly before combing your hair again to look your best for the TV cameras.

    Two stunning 30 yard strikes by you, the second an amazingly powerful back-heeled rocket, evened the scoreline, before you scored the winner after embarking on a 60-yard run where you displayed your customary dribbling wizardry as a prelude to slotting the ball past their awestruck keeper.

  11. #11

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by mazadona10 View Post
    Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.
    You do realise that you'd be privy to incest?

  12. #12

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    **** me, i bet the ladies love it when you talk dirty to them
    They do. Which is why all I need is money.

  13. #13

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    Have you been reading my diary ?
    All the pages were stuck together.

  14. #14

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Organ Morgan. View Post
    Hold on, what happened to the one you've related to me ad infinitum?

    Let me remind you. It's Rome 1977, the scene of Liverpool's first European Cup triumph. With five minutes remaining the Scousers are 0-2 down. Bill Shankly is sweating snobs on the touchline. His hopes and dreams had all but evaporated until he finally paid notice to the louder and increasingly desperate chants reverberating throughout the mass ranks of Merseyside's unemployed who filled half the stadium. "We want Sludge!" they demanded.

    Shankly points at you sat on the bench casually leafing through that month's issue of Reader's Wives Big Tits Special Edition. "Get on and bag a double, then we can beat them in extra time," he instructed. "I'll easily score a hat-trick in the time remaining, boss, and we'll enjoy a sing song in the communal bath rather than have extra time" you replied nonchalantly before combing your hair again to look your best for the TV cameras.

    Two stunning 30 yard strikes by you, the second an amazingly powerful back-heeled rocket, evened the scoreline, before you scored the winner after embarking on a 60-yard run where you displayed your customary dribbling wizardry as a prelude to slotting the ball past their awestruck keeper.
    I have immense football talent but I will never lower myself to playing for the scouse gits

    Readers wives I miss very much

    Ok some of them were a bit saggy but you cant have everything

    They were prepared to stand up and be counted

    And gorped at

  15. #15

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    You do realise that you'd be privy to incest?
    Is that a crime ? Incest is clearly

  16. #16

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee View Post
    All the pages were stuck together.
    I spilt a load of that gloy glue all over it

  17. #17

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    Is that a crime ? Incest is clearly
    It depends what part of the world you live in. I'm sure that it's legal in France between consenting adults.

  18. #18

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by mazadona10 View Post
    Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.
    I never thought I'd say this but can I hear more from mazadona please?

  19. #19

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by thehumblegringo View Post
    I never thought I'd say this but can I hear more from mazadona please?
    That scene from the office is comedy gold

  20. #20

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    It depends what part of the world you live in. I'm sure that it's legal in France between consenting adults.
    What about in wales ?

  21. #21

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    What about in wales ?
    Depends which Village you're from.

  22. #22

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Organ Morgan. View Post
    Hold on, what happened to the one you've related to me ad infinitum?

    Let me remind you. It's Rome 1977, the scene of Liverpool's first European Cup triumph. With five minutes remaining the Scousers are 0-2 down. Bill Shankly is sweating snobs on the touchline. His hopes and dreams had all but evaporated until he finally paid notice to the louder and increasingly desperate chants reverberating throughout the mass ranks of Merseyside's unemployed who filled half the stadium. "We want Sludge!" they demanded.

    Shankly points at you sat on the bench casually leafing through that month's issue of Reader's Wives Big Tits Special Edition. "Get on and bag a double, then we can beat them in extra time," he instructed. "I'll easily score a hat-trick in the time remaining, boss, and we'll enjoy a sing song in the communal bath rather than have extra time" you replied nonchalantly before combing your hair again to look your best for the TV cameras.

    Two stunning 30 yard strikes by you, the second an amazingly powerful back-heeled rocket, evened the scoreline, before you scored the winner after embarking on a 60-yard run where you displayed your customary dribbling wizardry as a prelude to slotting the ball past their awestruck keeper.
    Is the fantasy the bit about Bill Shankly? He left Liverpool in 1974.

  23. #23

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    [QUOTE=SLUDGE FACTORY;5048086]and I curl out a belter /QUOTE]
    I am reading this line whilst carrying out my morning ablutions

  24. #24

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    I'm the owner of Cardiff City and I invest 100 mil into a new training ground / academy / campus and 500 mill into transfers / wages culminating in the greatest decade our club has ever seen. And my wife does that thing I like.

  25. #25

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Carl Dale's Mole View Post
    I'm the owner of Cardiff City and I invest 100 mil into a new training ground / academy / campus and 500 mill into transfers / wages culminating in the greatest decade our club has ever seen. And my wife does that thing I like.
    If I won the lottery on a massive scale I would give a fair chunk to the homeless and buy city a quality centre back , midfielder and world class striker

    And give free tickets to all the school kids in south wales schools and free buses to all home games for life

  26. #26

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    If I won the lottery on a massive scale I would give a fair chunk to the homeless and buy city a quality centre back , midfielder and world class striker

    And give free tickets to all the school kids in south wales schools and free buses to all home games for life
    I'd want you to take over from Tan, we'd be sponsored by readers wives and instead of huge posters of the players adorning the stadium we'd have full size pictures of female regional newsreaders and weather girls.

  27. #27

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Malckent View Post
    Why? Was she in goal for Liverpool.

  28. #28

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    I'd want you to take over from Tan, we'd be sponsored by readers wives and instead of huge posters of the players adorning the stadium we'd have full size pictures of female regional newsreaders and weather girls.
    Helen willetts is my current favourite on the weather girl front

  29. #29

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by cardiff55 View Post
    Is the fantasy the bit about Bill Shankly? He left Liverpool in 1974.
    Correct. It's a point I've made to the rotter numerous times.

    We must hope he doesn't start a thread about his favourite carnal fantasy.

    It revolves around Linda Lash, a dominatrix from Dinas Powys, and isn't suitable for this family orientated message board.

  30. #30

    Re: What's your favourite fantasy ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    Helen willetts is my current favourite on the weather girl front
    No, Benazir Akhtar is the weather presenter

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