What's your favourite fantasy ?

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

I am playing in central midfield for city , a sort of willie boland who scores goals type

We are away at those bloody plastic scousers , last game of the season

It's our first season back in the big time and we have gone from bottom of the league at xmas to within a point of liverpool

Who ever wins this game , wins the league

With two minutes left the ball falls to me outside the area and I curl out a belter that finds the corner of the net

Cue bedlam in the packed away end , people are invading the pitch

Order is restored and we have to see out five minutes of injury time

I am at the centre of everything , end to end tackles , goalline clearances , the lot

Eventually the final whistle goes , the city fans run onto the pitch and I am carried in their arms all around the pitch , stopping at the top to flick the vicks to the spoilt gits

After the game before boarding the bus I am approached by Salma Hayek who says she has always been a cardiff fan due to her docks ancestry , she gives me her number and we spend the summer making love on her luxury yacht in Florida

Sadly fame goes to my head , I develop a methadone habit and end up in a bed sit on newport road

[valleys caveman]

Stacey Dooley isn't going to be too happy!

[Malckent]

Stacey Dooley isn't going to be too happy!

Why? Was she in goal for Liverpool.

[valleys caveman]

Why? Was she in goal for Liverpool.

[life on mars]

Stacey Dooley isn't going to be too happy!

She's a luckily girl her surname, didn't start with an S

[Eric the Half a Bee]

I am playing in central midfield for city , a sort of willie boland who scores goals type

We are away at those bloody plastic scousers , last game of the season

It's our first season back in the big time and we have gone from bottom of the league at xmas to within a point of liverpool

Who ever wins this game , wins the league

With two minutes left the ball falls to me outside the area and I curl out a belter that finds the corner of the net

Cue bedlam in the packed away end , people are invading the pitch

Order is restored and we have to see out five minutes of injury time

I am at the centre of everything , end to end tackles , goalline clearances , the lot

Eventually the final whistle goes , the city fans run onto the pitch and I am carried in their arms all around the pitch , stopping at the top to flick the vicks to the spoilt gits

After the game before boarding the bus I am approached by Salma Hayek who says she has always been a cardiff fan due to her docks ancestry , she gives me her number and we spend the summer making love on her luxury yacht in Florida

Sadly fame goes to my head , I develop a methadone habit and end up in a bed sit on newport road

Better than your fantasy of Renee Zellwegger in a Liverpool shirt and crotchless shell suit bottoms.

[mazadona10]

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

Have you been reading my diary ?

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Have you been reading my diary ?

All the pages were stuck together.

[Tuerto]

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

You do realise that you'd be privy to incest?

[NYCBlue]

Winning the lottery. My life can stay exactly the same. I just don't want to have to worry about money.

[Tuerto]

Winning the lottery. My life can stay exactly the same. I just don't want to have to worry about money.

**** me, i bet the ladies love it when you talk dirty to them

[NYCBlue]

**** me, i bet the ladies love it when you talk dirty to them

They do. Which is why all I need is money.

[Organ Morgan.]

I am playing in central midfield for city , a sort of willie boland who scores goals type

We are away at those bloody plastic scousers , last game of the season

It's our first season back in the big time and we have gone from bottom of the league at xmas to within a point of liverpool

Who ever wins this game , wins the league

With two minutes left the ball falls to me outside the area and I curl out a belter that finds the corner of the net

Cue bedlam in the packed away end , people are invading the pitch

Order is restored and we have to see out five minutes of injury time

I am at the centre of everything , end to end tackles , goalline clearances , the lot

Eventually the final whistle goes , the city fans run onto the pitch and I am carried in their arms all around the pitch , stopping at the top to flick the vicks to the spoilt gits

After the game before boarding the bus I am approached by Salma Hayek who says she has always been a cardiff fan due to her docks ancestry , she gives me her number and we spend the summer making love on her luxury yacht in Florida

Sadly fame goes to my head , I develop a methadone habit and end up in a bed sit on newport road

Hold on, what happened to the one you've related to me ad infinitum?

Let me remind you. It's Rome 1977, the scene of Liverpool's first European Cup triumph. With five minutes remaining the Scousers are 0-2 down. Bill Shankly is sweating snobs on the touchline. His hopes and dreams had all but evaporated until he finally paid notice to the louder and increasingly desperate chants reverberating throughout the mass ranks of Merseyside's unemployed who filled half the stadium. "We want Sludge!" they demanded.

Shankly points at you sat on the bench casually leafing through that month's issue of Reader's Wives Big Tits Special Edition. "Get on and bag a double, then we can beat them in extra time," he instructed. "I'll easily score a hat-trick in the time remaining, boss, and we'll enjoy a sing song in the communal bath rather than have extra time" you replied nonchalantly before combing your hair again to look your best for the TV cameras.

Two stunning 30 yard strikes by you, the second an amazingly powerful back-heeled rocket, evened the scoreline, before you scored the winner after embarking on a 60-yard run where you displayed your customary dribbling wizardry as a prelude to slotting the ball past their awestruck keeper.

[cardiff55]

Hold on, what happened to the one you've related to me ad infinitum?

Let me remind you. It's Rome 1977, the scene of Liverpool's first European Cup triumph. With five minutes remaining the Scousers are 0-2 down. Bill Shankly is sweating snobs on the touchline. His hopes and dreams had all but evaporated until he finally paid notice to the louder and increasingly desperate chants reverberating throughout the mass ranks of Merseyside's unemployed who filled half the stadium. "We want Sludge!" they demanded.

Shankly points at you sat on the bench casually leafing through that month's issue of Reader's Wives Big Tits Special Edition. "Get on and bag a double, then we can beat them in extra time," he instructed. "I'll easily score a hat-trick in the time remaining, boss, and we'll enjoy a sing song in the communal bath rather than have extra time" you replied nonchalantly before combing your hair again to look your best for the TV cameras.

Two stunning 30 yard strikes by you, the second an amazingly powerful back-heeled rocket, evened the scoreline, before you scored the winner after embarking on a 60-yard run where you displayed your customary dribbling wizardry as a prelude to slotting the ball past their awestruck keeper.

Is the fantasy the bit about Bill Shankly? He left Liverpool in 1974.

[Organ Morgan.]

Is the fantasy the bit about Bill Shankly? He left Liverpool in 1974.

Correct. It's a point I've made to the rotter numerous times.

We must hope he doesn't start a thread about his favourite carnal fantasy.

It revolves around Linda Lash, a dominatrix from Dinas Powys, and isn't suitable for this family orientated message board.

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Hold on, what happened to the one you've related to me ad infinitum?

Let me remind you. It's Rome 1977, the scene of Liverpool's first European Cup triumph. With five minutes remaining the Scousers are 0-2 down. Bill Shankly is sweating snobs on the touchline. His hopes and dreams had all but evaporated until he finally paid notice to the louder and increasingly desperate chants reverberating throughout the mass ranks of Merseyside's unemployed who filled half the stadium. "We want Sludge!" they demanded.

Shankly points at you sat on the bench casually leafing through that month's issue of Reader's Wives Big Tits Special Edition. "Get on and bag a double, then we can beat them in extra time," he instructed. "I'll easily score a hat-trick in the time remaining, boss, and we'll enjoy a sing song in the communal bath rather than have extra time" you replied nonchalantly before combing your hair again to look your best for the TV cameras.

Two stunning 30 yard strikes by you, the second an amazingly powerful back-heeled rocket, evened the scoreline, before you scored the winner after embarking on a 60-yard run where you displayed your customary dribbling wizardry as a prelude to slotting the ball past their awestruck keeper.

I have immense football talent but I will never lower myself to playing for the scouse gits

Readers wives I miss very much

Ok some of them were a bit saggy but you cant have everything

They were prepared to stand up and be counted

And gorped at

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

You do realise that you'd be privy to incest?

Is that a crime ? Incest is clearly

[Tuerto]

Is that a crime ? Incest is clearly

It depends what part of the world you live in. I'm sure that it's legal in France between consenting adults.

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

All the pages were stuck together.

I spilt a load of that gloy glue all over it

[thehumblegringo]

Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

I never thought I'd say this but can I hear more from mazadona please?

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

I never thought I'd say this but can I hear more from mazadona please?

That scene from the office is comedy gold

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

It depends what part of the world you live in. I'm sure that it's legal in France between consenting adults.

What about in wales ?

[Tuerto]

What about in wales ?

Depends which Village you're from.

[splott parker]

[QUOTE=SLUDGE FACTORY;5048086]and I curl out a belter /QUOTE]
I am reading this line whilst carrying out my morning ablutions