Are you into cooking ? Masterchef my arse

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

They say cook a decent meal for a woman and you are sorted

Which is great to know but cooking , like gardening , bores the crap out of me

Sod all this buying fresh veg , preparing it , shoving a joint of meat in the oven , stress of burning it

Sod all that cobblers

Buy some microwave rice , some chicken and an uncle Ben's curry cooking sauce , shove it in a pot and there you have it

None of this poncing about with peeling veg , adding herbs , preheating the oven nonsense

My signature dish is stew , beef or chicken

Onions , carrots , spuds , parsnips , swede , peas , add a vegetable oxo cube , boil for an hour , shove it in a dish , couple of slices of bread , lump of cheese , have it !

Then clean up and put on some sabbath

She's yours basically

[valleys caveman]

And your relationship status is?

[Tuerto]

They say cook a decent meal for a woman and you are sorted

Which is great to know but cooking , like gardening , bores the crap out of me

Sod all this buying fresh veg , preparing it , shoving a joint of meat in the oven , stress of burning it

Sod all that cobblers

Buy some microwave rice , some chicken and an uncle Ben's curry cooking sauce , shove it in a pot and there you have it

None of this poncing about with peeling veg , adding herbs , preheating the oven nonsense

My signature dish is stew , beef or chicken

Onions , carrots , spuds , parsnips , swede , peas , add a vegetable oxo cube , boil for an hour , shove it in a dish , couple of slices of bread , lump of cheese , have it !

Then clean up and put on some sabbath

She's yours basically

Bloke i used to work with loved Masterchef, used to comment on the nuances of cooking but would have paste sandwiches for dinner-He was a prick, but i liked him.

[Eric the Half a Bee]

They say cook a decent meal for a woman and you are sorted

Which is great to know but cooking , like gardening , bores the crap out of me

Sod all this buying fresh veg , preparing it , shoving a joint of meat in the oven , stress of burning it

Sod all that cobblers

Buy some microwave rice , some chicken and an uncle Ben's curry cooking sauce , shove it in a pot and there you have it

None of this poncing about with peeling veg , adding herbs , preheating the oven nonsense

My signature dish is stew , beef or chicken

Onions , carrots , spuds , parsnips , swede , peas , add a vegetable oxo cube , boil for an hour , shove it in a dish , couple of slices of bread , lump of cheese , have it !

Then clean up and put on some sabbath

She's yours basically

Talking of Black Sabbath, did you know you can sing the words of Calon Lan to Paranoid?

[Eric the Half a Bee]

And your relationship status is?

Expert at giving women a good pumping. Then deflating them.

[elytillidie]

Bloke i used to work with loved Masterchef, used to comment on the nuances of cooking but would have paste sandwiches for dinner-He was a prick, but i liked him.

Masterchef etc, you can't taste it, you can't smell it, what's the point? It could look delicious and taste like a turd, or look like a turd and taste delicious.

[Organ Morgan.]

Expert at giving women a good pumping. Then deflating them.

Sludge is a poster of very long standing. I don't believe it's appropriate to make remarks such as those about his character. I would never stoop to that level.

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Sludge is a poster of very long standing. I don't believe it's appropriate to make remarks such as those about his character. I would never stoop to that level.

Would you like to stir my beans ?

[Des Parrot]

My signature dish is stew

lump of cheese

Wot !!!! cheese in stew

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Wot !!!! cheese in stew

I am sophisticated