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Thread: Let me tell you a story ...

  1. #1

    Let me tell you a story ...

    Out shopping today

    Loading my bags into the car

    Spotted a credit card on the pavement

    Went onto local community hub and said have found a card , anybody know who this is ?

    Got a reply back saying it was someone who I shall only identify as a fairly famous welsh actress

    Searched facebook and sent her a message saying I think I had her card

    She had indeed lost it , was delighted I was so honest and is popping round to my house tomorrow to pick it up

    She is quite a sort and looking at her facebook profile so are most of her mates

    Somethings going to come of this , I can feel it in my bones

    Keep trying lads , even in these desperate times , there is always hope

    God bless you all

  2. #2

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    Out shopping today

    Loading my bags into the car

    Spotted a credit card on the pavement

    Went onto local community hub and said have found a card , anybody know who this is ?

    Got a reply back saying it was someone who I shall only identify as a fairly famous welsh actress

    Searched facebook and sent her a message saying I think I had her card

    She had indeed lost it , was delighted I was so honest and is popping round to my house tomorrow to pick it up

    She is quite a sort and looking at her facebook profile so are most of her mates

    Somethings going to come of this , I can feel it in my bones

    Keep trying lads , even in these desperate times , there is always hope

    God bless you all
    There'll be a police cordon there and you'll be jumped on immediately and arrested for theft.

  3. #3

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    Out shopping today

    Loading my bags into the car

    Spotted a credit card on the pavement

    Went onto local community hub and said have found a card , anybody know who this is ?

    Got a reply back saying it was someone who I shall only identify as a fairly famous welsh actress

    Searched facebook and sent her a message saying I think I had her card

    She had indeed lost it , was delighted I was so honest and is popping round to my house tomorrow to pick it up

    She is quite a sort and looking at her facebook profile so are most of her mates

    Somethings going to come of this , I can feel it in my bones

    Keep trying lads , even in these desperate times , there is always hope

    God bless you all
    Ding, Dong, Ding......Hi de Hi, morning campers..........I know who she is

  4. #4

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by splott parker View Post
    Ding, Dong, Ding......Hi de Hi, morning campers..........I know who she is
    Christ no , shes about ninety

    This lady , for she is a lady , is a welsh speaking actress with many welsh media friends

    I am hoping to get a date with the black haired presenter of bbc wales today as a present for my public spirited actions

    If not , she can piss off and I will cut the card up

  5. #5

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Get your lynx Africa on
    Ply her with your rapier wit.
    Don't mention the Metal

  6. #6

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by insider View Post
    Get your lynx Africa on
    Ply her with your rapier wit.
    Don't mention the Metal
    Shes going to honk the horn when she turns up

    I might even have a shower pre match

  7. #7

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    Shes going to honk the horn when she turns up

    I might even have a shower pre match
    Ding Dong
    GWAN my son

  8. #8

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Offer her some stew....

    (without the cheese)

  9. #9

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Des Parrot View Post
    Offer her some stew....

    (without the cheese)
    Is that a euphemism?

  10. #10

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Shes online now telling me she will be round at half ten

    Which gives me the added bonus of a lie in

  11. #11

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Are you gonna wear your short dressing gown?

  12. #12

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    Shes online now telling me she will be round at half ten

    Which gives me the added bonus of a lie in
    So your tale of woe is expected before 11. I'm sure it will be great reading as always

  13. #13

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Des Parrot View Post
    Offer her some stew....

    (without the cheese)

  14. #14

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Has Derek the weatherman popped round to pick up his credit card yet?

  15. #15

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    She arrived 5 minutes late

    But I was waiting for her

    I strolled towards her car purposefully , card in hand

    She said you are such a kind man

    I said you are the most famous person I have ever met .......which was a lie , I met phil Stant

    I dropped the card in her passenger seat

    She said would you like some wine and handed a bottle toward me

    I said I dont drink so she offered me some antifreeze

    It was all very romantic

    I wished her all the best , she waved and it was all over as she zoomed off in her car

    She has my details , she knows where I live , I am awaiting her call

    This is the way to deal with women

    Ice cool

  16. #16

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    She arrived 5 minutes late

    But I was waiting for her

    I strolled towards her car purposefully , card in hand

    She said you are such a kind man

    I said you are the most famous person I have ever met .......which was a lie , I met phil Stant

    I dropped the card in her passenger seat

    She said would you like some wine and handed a bottle toward me

    I said I dont drink so she offered me some antifreeze

    It was all very romantic

    I wished her all the best , she waved and it was all over as she zoomed off in her car

    She has my details , she knows where I live , I am awaiting her call

    This is the way to deal with women

    Ice cool
    You didn't accept the anti freezer then?

  17. #17

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    She arrived 5 minutes late

    But I was waiting for her

    I strolled towards her car purposefully , card in hand

    She said you are such a kind man

    I said you are the most famous person I have ever met .......which was a lie , I met phil Stant

    I dropped the card in her passenger seat

    She said would you like some wine and handed a bottle toward me

    I said I dont drink so she offered me some antifreeze

    It was all very romantic

    I wished her all the best , she waved and it was all over as she zoomed off in her car

    She has my details , she knows where I live , I am awaiting her call

    This is the way to deal with women

    Ice cool
    If it hadn't been for social distancing...........

  18. #18

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood Blues View Post
    If it hadn't been for social distancing...........
    Oh I dunno.
    This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

  19. #19

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood Blues View Post
    If it hadn't been for social distancing...........
    Sludge can do the deed even with social distancing *

    * In his dreams...

  20. #20

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by valleys caveman View Post
    Has Derek the weatherman popped round to pick up his credit card yet?

  21. #21

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    I am going through her facebook friends for possible victims

    There is always hope , even in these darkest of times

    Was a bit concerned about the anti freeze though , I was expecting a cash payment to be honest

  22. #22

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    She arrived 5 minutes late

    But I was waiting for her

    I strolled towards her car purposefully , card in hand

    She said you are such a kind man

    I said you are the most famous person I have ever met .......which was a lie , I met phil Stant

    I dropped the card in her passenger seat

    She said would you like some wine and handed a bottle toward me

    I said I dont drink so she offered me some antifreeze

    It was all very romantic

    I wished her all the best , she waved and it was all over as she zoomed off in her car

    She has my details , she knows where I live , I am awaiting her call

    This is the way to deal with women

    Ice cool
    A sludge classic... lightened my day... just read it to my wife who is in stitches...👍🤣

  23. #23

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by StraightOuttaCanton View Post
    A sludge classic... lightened my day... just read it to my wife who is in stitches...👍🤣
    Has your wife got any friends ?

    Female obviously

  24. #24

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    Has your wife got any friends ?

    Female obviously
    No. Her name is Helena and I keep her in a box

  25. #25

    Re: Let me tell you a story ...

    Quote Originally Posted by StraightOuttaCanton View Post
    No. Her name is Helena and I keep her in a box
    Who was the actress who played that part , was it Sherilyn fenn ?

    Crap film but she gave me the horn

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