Couple caught having it off in a park

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

By me

I was going to phone the police but I hid behind a tree and watched

Just seemed like the right thing to do

[valleys caveman]

Was it a palm tree you hid behind?

[BLUETIT]

Was it a palm tree you hid behind?

Na, it was a see-cum-more

[tell it like it is]

I hope they were socially distancing, sludge.

[Bluebirdman Of Alcathays]

So camping out for all those nights finally paid off?

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

I hope they were socially distancing, sludge.

They were at it at close quarters

Filthy rotters

Shouldn't be allowed

[tell it like it is]

They were at it at close quarters

Filthy rotters

Shouldn't be allowed

Close quarters?

Clearly the guy only has a tiny todger then.

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Close quarters?

Clearly the guy only has a tiny todger then.

Do you know any men that could keep 2 metres apart but still manage it?

[tell it like it is]

Do you know any men that could keep 2 metres apart but still manage it?

I'd say yes but that would be bragging...

[cyril evans awaydays]

I'd say yes but that would be bragging...

The other bloke must have a fair todger or you must be good at yoga

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

So camping out for all those nights finally paid off?

You have to put in the hours

It's like fishing , you wait for ages then the big one bites

[splott parker]

I was walking through the graveyard the other day and saw someone burying a stiff ‘un.

[bobh]

I was walking through the graveyard the other day and saw someone burying a stiff ‘un.

Boy took a girl to the cemetary, for a snog and whatever he could get.
They sat on a bench
He: "Eerie, ain't it?"
She: "yes, it is"
He put his arm around her.
He : "weird, ain't it?"
She: "yes, it is"
He put his hand on her knee.
He: "gruesome, ain't it?"
She: "yes - it has!"

[life on mars]

Were you tempted to hide in the bush?

[xsnaggle]

Perhaps they had to go to the park because the hotle they usually use in the afternoons is closed.

[dembethewarrior]

Perhaps they had to go to the park because the hotle they usually use in the afternoons is closed.

I saw 2 parked cars parked up near a local beauty spot few summers ago, well a little lay-by on the way to one. They were clearly having an affair and he was obviously too tight to pay for a hotel. I remember the look of horror in their faces as I walked by.

Could hear her as I walked off "you said nobody would see us up here"

She must've been really ****ing thick as the lane wasn't really too far past a load of nice houses as the country lane eventually goes into a load of farmers fields etc..they'd literally driven a minimum distance past and gone behind some bushes..and somewhere a few dog walkers often use.

"You said nobody would see us up here"

Had to laugh.