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CCMB's greatest failed lothario clearly isn't enjoying the best of times as he gets older.
15 years ago he would willingly brag how his latest inflatable friend had been 'used' so often it had become floppy. Who can forget his legendary thread asking how to keep his women 'clean'? Donald Trump's disinfectant comment would have been considered satirical!
Rarely would Sludge post about a hot celebrity he fancied without there being a threat of a court banning order for bombarding his latest love with fan mail. This may or may not have been connected, but he was repeatedly thrown out of Cowbridge library after being caught photocopying his nutsack. Now, he seems to have feebly given up pestering women.
We now find out that he's complained about a new mattress. Having been willing to sleep on a bin bag of rocks if it meant him getting his end away, it seems odd that he hasn't tried this new mattress out properly, with Pam and her friends and Latex Lucy. 20 years ago Sludge would have taken it back a day later, heavily stained and badly damaged.
Sludge used to be a right rotter. He was once famously told off by a woman simply for holding a door open for her. Apparently she wanted to have a shit in peace. He once claimed that a woman called him a bit of a looker, though we were to later find out she actually used the word 'voyeur'.
Long gone are the reports of what underwear the neighbours were hanging on their washing lines, especially the ones he found that were made of black lace, were his size and how they were more comfy than his brown y-fronts.
Perhaps the lowering of previous standards is due to a lack of success on the dogging front. Having made some random and discreet enquiries on twitter, the common reply was "oh him? Yes, we used to hide or go somewhere else when he turned up." One man, who didn't want to be identified, but knew him through Conservative party meetings, reckoned
"he didn't so much wear a G-string, but more a G-rope. He would beat his chest like Tarzan offering a night of heavy metal music in exchange for a good time. It wasn't the image us professional doggers wanted to be associated with." Perhaps that's the reason Sludge wants Mike and TLG naked for his next dogging adventure. While he's not traditionally been fussy, naked men have never been on his radar until now. Maybe it's all he can get?
One thing is sure, though. Sludge has always had an eye for a munter. While the 2003 Charlie Dimmock calendar had to be binned as it was stuck together, there's no doubt he would.
christ
My thoughts too!Originally Posted by lazbian
It's what happens when you have too much time on your hands. :o)
Very good, Eric.
He won't appreciate you exposing his true political affiliation.
I saw him and his brother last week at what must be Cowbridge's lowest value property. I may do a write-up tomorrow about the experience, though I'd sooner forget their shocking antics.
WTF?
I did think that was quite amusing, maybe I'm just easily amused!
How is the young man in question,hope he is safe and well.Sludge's posts do make me laugh.
Sludge meaning: thick, soft, wet mud or a similar viscous mixture of liquid and solid components produced industrially.
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