A female friend of mine has invited me round for Xmas lunch , mates since school ?

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Baked cheese , whatever that is , with red currant sauce

Turkey parcels in bacon

Bored stiff but then she says her friend Jane is coming round with cheesecake

Jane ? Who is Jane I said ?

Oh shes lovely , lives round the corner , you would like her , she's really nice

How old is she I ask ?

67

Call me picky but I am staying round mine and having corned beef sarnies , if I can open the tin

[Tuerto]

Baked cheese , whatever that is , with red currant sauce

Turkey parcels in bacon

Bored stiff but then she says her friend Jane is coming round with cheesecake

Jane ? Who is Jane I said ?

Oh shes lovely , lives round the corner , you would like her , she's really nice

How old is she I ask ?

67

Call me picky but I am staying round mine and having corned beef sarnies , if I can open the tin

Good call Sludge, Sounds ****ing horrendous.

[valleys caveman]

Baked cheese , whatever that is , with red currant sauce

Turkey parcels in bacon

Bored stiff but then she says her friend Jane is coming round with cheesecake

Jane ? Who is Jane I said ?

Oh shes lovely , lives round the corner , you would like her , she's really nice

How old is she I ask ?

67

Call me picky but I am staying round mine and having corned beef sarnies , if I can open the tin

Brown or red sauce?

[life on mars]

Baked cheese , whatever that is , with red currant sauce

Turkey parcels in bacon

Bored stiff but then she says her friend Jane is coming round with cheesecake

Jane ? Who is Jane I said ?

Oh shes lovely , lives round the corner , you would like her , she's really nice

How old is she I ask ?

67

Call me picky but I am staying round mine and having corned beef sarnies , if I can open the tin

Stay with the Corned Dog,and avoid any cheesy offers😄

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Brown or red sauce?

Easy red or difficult brown

I am going for brown

[Optimistic Nick]

So she's not doing the social distancing thing then?

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

[QUOTE=Optimistic Nick;5148667]So she's not doing the social distancing thing

Me and her are in a bubble

But not on Xmas day

[Harry Paget Flashman]

How old are you?

[life on mars]

So she's not doing the social distancing thing then?

She will naturally gravitate to natural distancing after munching away through that Xmas meal and the guaranteed flatulence that will follow.

[Taunton Blue Genie]

Baked cheese , whatever that is , with red currant sauce

Turkey parcels in bacon

Bored stiff but then she says her friend Jane is coming round with cheesecake

Jane ? Who is Jane I said ?

Oh shes lovely , lives round the corner , you would like her , she's really nice

How old is she I ask ?

67

Call me picky but I am staying round mine and having corned beef sarnies , if I can open the tin

At least Jane will get vaccinated early.

[J R Hartley]

[QUOTE=SLUDGE FACTORY;5148670]

So she's not doing the social distancing thing

Me and her are in a bubble

But not on Xmas day

More bubbles than West Ham and Michael Jackson put together

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

How old are you?

69

[Harry Paget Flashman]

69

Dinner for two.

Get round there misery guts.

[Jordi Culé]

69

He’s asked your age, not what you get up to with her.

[mazadona10]

Bottled it.

As per the menu description, no sign of a bird getting stuffed in that household

[A Quiet Monkfish]

Baked cheese sounds like Camembert - it's what posh people eat, so you'd probably be better staying at home.

[The Gifaffe]

Sounds like they are secretly planning pigs in blankets. Avoid.

[NYCBlue]

Try not to catch any diseases.

[Splott-light...]

At least Jane will get vaccinated early.

"you wont feel a thing..."

[NYCBlue]

Mates since school? When did you first mate?

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Mates since school? When did you first mate?

Nice lass but not my type

She's got fake tiger skin duvet covers and matching pillows

And her ex husband is off his cake

[splott parker]

And her ex husband is off his cake

Nearly 11 o’clock, is the perfectly well balanced, sane potential suitor getting ready to go to hers or are you ducking out?

[NYCBlue]

Nice lass but not my type

She's got fake tiger skin duvet covers and matching pillows

And her ex husband is off his cake

Give her some Yule Log. You know you want to.

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Give her some Yule Log. You know you want to.

I am not a desperate man . Lovely lady , good friend but sex wise its a non starter . She's stuck in 1977 .

And she tabs 20 silk cut a day , its like getting off with a darts player

[GL1Blue]

I am not a desperate man . Lovely lady , good friend but sex wise its a non starter . She's stuck in 1977 .

And she tabs 20 silk cut a day , its like getting off with a darts player

You've got as far as getting off with her then?