Baked cheese , whatever that is , with red currant sauce

Turkey parcels in bacon

Bored stiff but then she says her friend Jane is coming round with cheesecake

Jane ? Who is Jane I said ?

Oh shes lovely , lives round the corner , you would like her , she's really nice

How old is she I ask ?

67

Call me picky but I am staying round mine and having corned beef sarnies , if I can open the tin