What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

[Keyser Soze]

Thanks but it's okay. One has to accept the shambolic times and try and see their value otherwise they wear you down (and they have but I'm sorting that out).

I wasn't solely taking the view that your post was about money; you mention some regret about relationships and friendships but also
missing out on investments, although that might be about the playing the game rather than the reward. I'm aware we're all fundamentally driven to find comfort and connection and the world can reward it in different ways. If you've done well then cool.

But the point I was trying to make is would you (or anyone) tell your 16 year old self how to get lucky or to learn the guitar (near enough the same thing back in the day but apparently not anymore) in order to fulfil ambition and status, or do you teach him to be more at ease with himself, to learn how to separate the white noise from the birdsong and whatever happens after that is part of the adventure?

(Maybe this is just a personal thing and everyone else never had that problem).

Kind of you to post all the guidance. I've been working on things for a good while now using various tools, mainly to try and dismantle bad old habits and cultivate new ones. Cheers though.

I would ask why do you want to learn it at all? The actions should always be with a purpose. Is it for pleasure, or to be in a band? Or to be cool and keep up with mates? Ask the "Why?".

If it is because you want to have fun with your mates and it will get you tons of sex (both forms of happiness) then do it. If it is because you think the guitar is that it gives you pleasure or a sense of achievement (happiness) then do it. If it because you have ambition to be in a band then that is a life goal (happiness) so do it.

If it is just to keep up with mates and it is perceived to be cool and you don't want to be left out then seriously question is it worth it at all.

It is all about the "Why?". Act with a purpose, and act to achieve your goals / happiness, or to reduce happiness. But not "just because" or with no clear reason.

[Bluebirdman Of Alcathays]

I would ask why do you want to learn it at all? The actions should always be with a purpose. Is it for pleasure, or to be in a band? Or to be cool and keep up with mates? Ask the "Why?".

If it is because you want to have fun with your mates and it will get you tons of sex (both forms of happiness) then do it. If it is because you think the guitar is that it gives you pleasure or a sense of achievement (happiness) then do it. If it because you have ambition to be in a band then that is a life goal (happiness) so do it.

If it is just to keep up with mates and it is perceived to be cool and you don't want to be left out then seriously question is it worth it at all.

It is all about the "Why?". Act with a purpose, and act to achieve your goals / happiness, or to reduce happiness. But not "just because" or with no clear reason.

Okay, but some (remember, we're all only 16 and dopey) might not know the purpose, or that you might not even like guitars but they're fashionable and you've heard playing the guitar will impress women, that you think that'll make you happy until you join a band and get bottled off by skinheads and wind up lost on tour in Lincolnshire and the van breaks down and your diabetic bassist has no insulin and you think what am I doing here? It's about understanding purpose and finding what you want instead of having the bias of others flung at you.

The regret of drift: people have whole careers wondering how on Earth they got there.

[chris lee]

I like the poker analogy, It is very similar to my views.

I read a lot of stoicism and have two things I always come back to, first is a quote and then a visualising exercise.

My quote which I believe they use in AA meetings:
'Give me the serenity accept that which I can not change,
the courage to change the things the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.'


Then my visualising exercise is hard to to articulate but I will try briefly:
close your eyes and picture a vast endless ocean, Imagine life is just you and everybody else floating around in the middle of this ocean, mostly the water will be calm, however you have no way of knowing when the waves will come, or how bad the storm will be and how long it will last.
Therefore your only choice is to prepare the best you can when the sea is calm and hold on and ride through the storms when they hit. Everybody floating in the ocean will be hit by the same storm but their mindset and preparation will affect how they come through it.