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You still not forgiven me for having the opinion that factory jobs are shit?
Every one I've ever had were utter crap, crap pay, crap conditions, crap work etc etc.
I suppose if it's all you can get it's what you've got to put up with, but just like parenting I found a solution 👍
That self righteous enough for you 😴
You can tell sludge hasn’t got kids….you try taking a 2 or 3 year old to the doctors with a temperature or something. I had to wait almost an hour once, kept him still and settled for the first 30/40 but after that just gave up, let him run about in the hope it might hurry them up which it appeared to magically do. Just aswell, had to take him to a&e to spend the night on oxygen and inhalers…..
In all seriousness, you do your best under the circumstances. I was working 60hrs a week when my kids were growing up, my missus did night shifts in the royal gwent and we had no childcare so she wouldn't get any sleep the next day, then i was contracting away from home which is really bad for the family unit, luckily, i had my kids young, got three of them, so i had the energy, although it was bloody hard for 15 years and it takes it's toll on everyone, kids included. Was i a perfect parent? Not by a long shot. Do i regret it when i reflect? Yes, absolutely i do, i focused on work too much and that was to the detriment of my family, but i was still learning, and i thought that the righteous thing was to provide, when the correct thing to do was get some ****ing balance in my life!
So, how did it end up? Not bad actually, my kids are wonderful, they're all happy enough, doing well, working, in college. Me and the missus are still cracking skulls, 26 years on wednesday and have been together since we were 15, and we're still a unit, a formidable force as a family
Did i screw my kids up a bit? No doubt about it, and i was selfish on times, but like a good Dad i learnt what is important, and anyway, what is perfect anyway? They're Humble, kind, giving, and that's all i can ask for, and they make me happy everyday
And for traditionalists, there is always gin!
Gin Lane.jpg
That's a far cry from parents who dump their kids in a bedroom and say get on with it or leave them run loose in the streets because they can't be bothered.
You worked your bollocks off and so did your missus,that to me doesn't make you a bad parent, on my opinion.
Like you said in another thread you still spend time with your 17 year old doing the stuff she loves. Me as mine wandered around B&M yesterday because that's what she wanted to spend her Saturday doing.
You worked to give them stability and a nice home.
Work hard, show them the benefits of working hard, and buy in as good an area as you can afford, so you're kids get semi-private education, ie schools in Lisvane have better-behaved kids than the schools in the shit areas.
Of course, your kids could still fall in with some kid that wants to do drugs, drink, and be a tool and not aspire to do anything, but the chances are greatly reduced.
Also, spend as much free time with them as you can and take them to nice places and involve them with as many sports and activities as possible, take them out on bikes canoes whatever you can.
The rest should be standard, work hard, respect the family, help around the house from an early age, be polite, don't swear with family etc.
It's not really hard and should come naturally.
My daughters, now in their late 20’s and early 30’s have all turned out polite well adjusted people which gives me some pride.
On of the best thrills for me was finding out one of my daughters now does the one thing with her children, which she always moaned about when she was a child.
When they were growing up (3 girls) they tended to hoard everything and not tidy up their stuff. I invented bin bag day when it got too much. They each had a black bin bag and to fill it up with the stuff they did not need or use any more. They use to moan but it worked and we used to do it every 3 or 4 months. She now does does this with her kids and tells me she now sees the logic behind it. As she lives in Lincolnshire we speak regularly on the phone and she frequently tells me that her view of my parenting has changed (for the better) as she faces the same dilemmas with her 3 children and she frequently seeks advice.
I am glad I never had kids
Great laugh if they are pleasant , from whatever backgrounds
Absolute pain the arse if they ain't
Ball of stress for most of my mates then they naff off at 18
Just slightly changing gears but on topic, I hated then and still do, the expectation that the father is the one supposed to be in control of the discipline, "wait till your father gets home" i think this attitude often caused problems for fathers as they would be the ones who were telling the kids no, next time you do that it's bed early for you etc.
Yeah, it does sort of paint men as monsters, although i'm sure that it was never meant that way, or maybe it goes back to the days when fathers dished out a leathering. I'm sure that whatever my kids were getting up to, that when i arrived home i would join in with them
Mine doesn't ask for a lot, so it's usually me offering to take her to get things
I'm happy with the way she's turned out, happy that she's comfortable coming to me with any issues etc and talks openly to me as do I with her. She knows everything about how I grew up and what I got up to.
Like every else in life you reap what you sow. My kids are brilliant with their kids and with us parents.
Mine are grown up and self sufficient, they’re doing ok. I do feel for you younger parents, juggling jobs, money, child care, just keeping food in pantry and a roof over your heads. It’s never been simple juggling family & work etc but, being on the outside looking in, it does seem to be more difficult than ever. I take my hat off to you and hope you’re all managing to cope
I'm trying to bring mine up to be empathetic, appreciate nuance and above all , not be an opinionated tosser.
Screentime is a big problem for infants clearly.
I'm more concerned with parents who instil values that are based around producing an efficient money-making, career-driven monster.
Not enough focus on culture , the arts, playing, enjoying life, healthy socialising, respecting alternative ways of living and being, respecting animals and looking after your environment etc.
Anyone can "lay down the law". It takes someone with a real interest to bring up a kid that will contribute to the world in ways that will make it better than what it currently is.
The most unusual and disappointing thing I have experienced living here in the north of spain is peoples bemusement when I tell them that my daughter and I communicate in Welsh. I've had comments like "You'll regret that" ,"She'll be pissed off with you when she's older" , "Oh, you have to do things the complicated way" ....even a member of my family said "Maybe you should think more long term".
Most of these people probably consider themselves well-adjusted. Most of them are parents. These types of comments make me worry for their offspring.............and their offspring get hardly any screentime, eat fruit, were taught to self wean, you name it......... they will still be lacking in one fundamental way imo.