So coming off a phone call to a cousin last night, and it seems he was a bit down. I prodded a bit more and he revealed he has a love life problem.

Unlike me he isn’t married, but he has been seeing his bit of filth for four years. She seems quite nice. Well dressed. Brains. Not overly funny but pleasant. If she weren’t with him and I was single I’d bury the sausage in there, but that is an aside. Before meetng him she cut off from her previous piece of pork on her terms and left his house. Story goes her ex was “boring” and “wanted to stay at home on his Playstation instead of going out or travellling”. My cousin seems quite made up with her, and there has been chatter of marriage for a few months.

She is still giving my cousin some fish pie but he admits it has dropped off in recent six months, and now done to twice a week or so. I personally thought for mid Thirties and four years together then a spot of nookie twice a week ain’t that much a cause for concern.

But he said in the last two or three months her ex’s name occasionally flashes up on the phone, but not late at night, more like tea time sometimes. Cousin ain’t happy. He suspects she is sharing her pie with her ex but he has no evidence. He is thinking of calling her bluff and calling it off. I told him to chill out as it’s probably the ex getting vibes of a marriage via friendship group rumours and is making a play to disturb the peace, and probably nowt in it.

What would you do if you were him?