Tan knocks on the door of a Cardiff flat. He is shocked and frightened when the door is opened by a man in a homemade black spider costume. Three pairs of toilet brushes sticking out of the side of the costume represent legs and the costume wearer's own legs complete the number of legs you would expect on a spider. Although the hairy black body suit looks convincing the effect is spoiled by the whiteness of its owner's bare legs and by the fact that he has painted his toenails blue. The man's shiny bald head looks very small in contrast to the size of the body suit.

Tan : Are you The Lone Gunman?

TLG : I sometimes use that nomenclature. (Imagine Eugene from The Walking Dead and you won't be far off.)

Tan : Why are you dressed like that? You are frightening me. It is bad luck to come to the door wearing a spider costume in my country.

TLG : I am normalizing my appearance to blend in with my araneae, aka spiders. Also I like looking like this and no low life degenerate, aka red shirter, is going to stop me wearing it.

Tan : I have come to apologise for my mistake. We should never have changed the kit without consulting you.

TLG : Too late. You have upset me and you have upset my spiders.

Tan : What can we do to get you back?

TLG : I am on record as saying I will never return, but perhaps there is one thing that might change my mind. I am talking rebrand times 100. This will tax your cognitive capacity and your knitting skills. Prepare to have your mind blown.

Tan leaves carrying The Lone Gunman's notes and drawings for a new kit. The football world is surprised when The Bluebirds change their name to The Spiders. Surprise turns to astonishment when they run out to the first game of the season in a one piece all black kit with two pairs of extra sleeves and thick bulbous padding around the waist to represent a spider's abdomen. The hairy spider effect was achieved by making the kit in mohair. After only ten minutes of the first game of the season when every Cardiff player except the goalie has been carried off with heat exhaustion Tan begins to realise he made a mistake paying any attention to TLG.