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4 weeks ago I received some fantastic support and advice from this forum when my ex broke up with me. I thought it would be more than fair to share what happened during the last month so you can see what an idiot I was.
I have learned that when an ex breaks up with them you cannot trust them for shit, even if you had total 100% faith in their every word - forget it. So here's what happened.
The day she finished with me I was totally broken as you all know. And the weeks following that I was physically ill and my head was going crazy - not because I couldn't deal with it but for the fact that through all of that time she was leading me on. I met with her 2 days later to talk things through and see if anything could be resolved, I learned that in fact that with time it could be resolved and we could see the root of our problems and rectify them. So that day I felt very good, we promised each other if there was anyone else at any point we would tell each other and that would be that.
So she came round to the house 2 days after that and I cooked for her. I wasn't expecting any sexual favours and so on, I just wanted to spend time with her to see how things went. She initially said she would come and stay but we would stay in different rooms and I was totally fine with that, I just wanted the opportunity to be good together again. She turns up and says she is only able to stay an hour. So that night was short and surprising but I moved on anyway.
2 days after that she turns up to the house again but this time with a friend, to see her little dog. I was looking after her dog throughout all of this because she wasn't living anywhere permanently. As some of you know, around the same time, one of my best friends was suicidal - she was sent to a mental hospital which I mentioned to my ex on this particular day whilst her friend was there as she'd been admitted to hospital 24 hours prior. When I said this she looked her friend in the eyes and just laughed about the location of said hospital. I thought why on Earth would you laugh at such a sensitive situation. Thankfully, my friend was released last week and is on the up but obviously on a lot of medication, that's the only good thing to come out of that.
So far, obviously I have attachments with her because all of her things are still at home as well as her dog (who I love dearly and he is the reason why I kept it together most of the time). Each time I see her she is like a different person, one minute she is kissing me, the next she doesn't want to look me in the eye.
This goes on and on same pattern for the next week and she says I love you a number of times and "you can trust me" all this bullshit. Obviously, I'm holding on to her every last word. So fast forward to 13 days after the breakup and all of a sudden she doesn't want to chat much anymore because there are people in the house she's been staying at that she would like to socialise with (fair enough). You need to know at this point she has been totally leading me on with words and actions. Now I should also mention the reason I've also kept on being nice is because I promised her that I would be there for her whilst she goes into hospital for an op just two days after this particular night. So she said "I would like to stay at the house because I will be feeling like shit", so I said fair enough I will buy you the certain foods etc. So the arrangement was we would stay in different rooms and that's that.
I see on social media that she has liked 8 pictures of some boy on two separate occasions on the same day she was due to come and stay at the house until she started to feel better. I thought here we ****ing go. So I say to her that night has anything gone and so forth and she denies it all and says it was nothing. I also find out the same night she had been flirting with a number of others whilst still coming back to the house and doing the same with me.
So she goes into hospital the next day, has the op and I go to visit her at night. I was there for an hour with her sister then her sister left, so I sat on the chair where her sister had been sitting and was looking around. Gareth Thomas was also in the same ward visiting so I thought that was pretty funny and said do you know who that is etc. I look in the direction her phone was in and she saw that and quickly flipped it. Obviously I wasn't happy but she denied anything was going on. I pick her up from hospital the next day to bring her back to the house and I left her to her own devices. I go up and say "I know I shouldn't be doing this really, but would you like anything to eat at all?" Instead of saying no thanks she says, "you should be doing it". As you can imagine I kicked off at that, I couldn't believe she had the audacity to say it after all that she put me through. So she rings a friend to pick her up and she leaves, with the dog this time. I ring her later that day to apologise and she said I can't really speak I'm too weak. I found out on the weekend that she didn't want to speak because she was phoning this other guy at the same ****ing time.
A few days pass and we arrange for her to box all her stuff up last weekend, 4 days after her op. Saturday comes and it was the same day as the Austria game so I was leaving the house about 5pm to get down there. I said if you can't finish it before then, just stay as long as you need to do it. She was still recovering and was in a lot of pain so I felt sorry for her and made her a small lunch etc. She ends up leaving at 4pm with hardly anything done and says I will come early tomorrow morning to finish. So Sunday morning comes, she turns up and says my parents are coming to collect everything at 9am so I got out of the house and left them to it.
I get back to the house at 2pm and half of her things are still here, obviously I'm questioning it and she said some bullshit answer like I need them here for now and I will get them next week. That day never came and still hasn't come. We were very "into each other" on this particular day and she was happy to go along with it and even encouraged it and at the end she was the one who said "I hope this is only a small break for us". Little did I know at the exact same time on the exact same day she was ringing and messaging this other guy. I was oblivious still at this point.
She goes on holiday last week and returns a couple of days ago. I said come to the house on Sunday to get the rest of the stuff and she agrees. She turns up yesterday and only takes 3 small things. But she turned up not having a ****ing clue that I found out during her holiday throughout the last 2 weeks she had been with this other guy. I sat her down and gave her 5 opportunities to tell me the truth - did not take any of them. She only admitted that they were "talking" 45 mins into the conversation. So I said if you don't come and take your stuff this week it is going for good, she says Wednesday or Thursday any time - up to you. I said this evening please come Wednesday at 9am to get the rest of your things. No answer.
So I ring her a number of times this evening and what do you know - no answer. So on about the 9th attempt because I want her shit ****ing out of here, she finally answers. I say where are you it's really noisy, you in Cardiff? No she says, I'm in Bath. Yes you've guessed it, this guy lives there. She said they were only friends and talking last night and now she is staying with him until Wednesday so is suddenly is unable to collect her things until Thursday.
I said if you don't come Wednesday your stuff is going out in black bags in the garden, you're the one moving on whilst prolonging this whole situation - not me! She didn't accept that and said I will get my dad onto you. **** me, grow up love I thought people stopped saying that when they were in school. I said I want your keys asap, post them through the door and don't come back. She hung up and that was that.
The moral of the story is, if someone breaks up with you, even if you are sure there is still something there... don't even ****ing bother - even if they lead you on the entire way through it. I have been feeling like shit because of her the last 4 weeks and trusted her every word when she said I would always tell you if there was ever anyone else, I promise there is no one else. I said to her on the phone tonight what happened to that promise then and she said it's none of your business leave me alone.
Yesterday I counted and she lied to me a total of 32 times. What a ****, and I can tell you now that I am much better off away from a compulsive liar and a controlling girl who does not know how to treat a person with respect and decency.
Feel free to call me an idiot because I certainly feel like one tonight.
Get on tinder bro...
Sorry to read your hurt feller.
From what you describe above, this person seems to have multiple personality flaws. Fairly serous ones from your description.
IMO, Read your own words and believe them: "I can tell you now that I am much better off away from a compulsive liar and a controlling [] who does not know how to treat a person with respect and decency " .
That's your own summary.
Map a new course, turn your sail into the wind .
Bon voyage Captain
:)Originally Posted by stevebrickman
Yes mate, clearly there are big mental problems that I have now suddenly discovered. She has ****ed with my head for 4 weeks constantly and has tried to make me feel sorry for her when she says I don't have any money etc. I have left her to it and let her get on with it. Maybe this other guy will see what she really wants sharpish.Sorry to read your hurt feller.
From what you describe above, this person seems to have multiple personality flaws. Fairly serous ones from your description.
IMO, Read your own words and believe them: "I can tell you now that I am much better off away from a compulsive liar and a controlling [] who does not know how to treat a person with respect and decency " .
That's your own summary.
Map a new course, turn your sail into the wind .
Bon voyage Captain
She will be turning up at yours again or ringing you with i made a mistake story in the future ie nowhere to go after he's dumped her.. If you even think about believing her only then will you be an idiot4 weeks ago I received some fantastic support and advice from this forum when my ex broke up with me. I thought it would be more than fair to share what happened during the last month so you can see what an idiot I was.
I have learned that when an ex breaks up with them you cannot trust them for shit, even if you had total 100% faith in their every word - forget it. So here's what happened.
The day she finished with me I was totally broken as you all know. And the weeks following that I was physically ill and my head was going crazy - not because I couldn't deal with it but for the fact that through all of that time she was leading me on. I met with her 2 days later to talk things through and see if anything could be resolved, I learned that in fact that with time it could be resolved and we could see the root of our problems and rectify them. So that day I felt very good, we promised each other if there was anyone else at any point we would tell each other and that would be that.
So she came round to the house 2 days after that and I cooked for her. I wasn't expecting any sexual favours and so on, I just wanted to spend time with her to see how things went. She initially said she would come and stay but we would stay in different rooms and I was totally fine with that, I just wanted the opportunity to be good together again. She turns up and says she is only able to stay an hour. So that night was short and surprising but I moved on anyway.
2 days after that she turns up to the house again but this time with a friend, to see her little dog. I was looking after her dog throughout all of this because she wasn't living anywhere permanently. As some of you know, around the same time, one of my best friends was suicidal - she was sent to a mental hospital which I mentioned to my ex on this particular day whilst her friend was there as she'd been admitted to hospital 24 hours prior. When I said this she looked her friend in the eyes and just laughed about the location of said hospital. I thought why on Earth would you laugh at such a sensitive situation. Thankfully, my friend was released last week and is on the up but obviously on a lot of medication, that's the only good thing to come out of that.
So far, obviously I have attachments with her because all of her things are still at home as well as her dog (who I love dearly and he is the reason why I kept it together most of the time). Each time I see her she is like a different person, one minute she is kissing me, the next she doesn't want to look me in the eye.
This goes on and on same pattern for the next week and she says I love you a number of times and "you can trust me" all this bullshit. Obviously, I'm holding on to her every last word. So fast forward to 13 days after the breakup and all of a sudden she doesn't want to chat much anymore because there are people in the house she's been staying at that she would like to socialise with (fair enough). You need to know at this point she has been totally leading me on with words and actions. Now I should also mention the reason I've also kept on being nice is because I promised her that I would be there for her whilst she goes into hospital for an op just two days after this particular night. So she said "I would like to stay at the house because I will be feeling like shit", so I said fair enough I will buy you the certain foods etc. So the arrangement was we would stay in different rooms and that's that.
I see on social media that she has liked 8 pictures of some boy on two separate occasions on the same day she was due to come and stay at the house until she started to feel better. I thought here we ****ing go. So I say to her that night has anything gone and so forth and she denies it all and says it was nothing. I also find out the same night she had been flirting with a number of others whilst still coming back to the house and doing the same with me.
So she goes into hospital the next day, has the op and I go to visit her at night. I was there for an hour with her sister then her sister left, so I sat on the chair where her sister had been sitting and was looking around. Gareth Thomas was also in the same ward visiting so I thought that was pretty funny and said do you know who that is etc. I look in the direction her phone was in and she saw that and quickly flipped it. Obviously I wasn't happy but she denied anything was going on. I pick her up from hospital the next day to bring her back to the house and I left her to her own devices. I go up and say "I know I shouldn't be doing this really, but would you like anything to eat at all?" Instead of saying no thanks she says, "you should be doing it". As you can imagine I kicked off at that, I couldn't believe she had the audacity to say it after all that she put me through. So she rings a friend to pick her up and she leaves, with the dog this time. I ring her later that day to apologise and she said I can't really speak I'm too weak. I found out on the weekend that she didn't want to speak because she was phoning this other guy at the same ****ing time.
A few days pass and we arrange for her to box all her stuff up last weekend, 4 days after her op. Saturday comes and it was the same day as the Austria game so I was leaving the house about 5pm to get down there. I said if you can't finish it before then, just stay as long as you need to do it. She was still recovering and was in a lot of pain so I felt sorry for her and made her a small lunch etc. She ends up leaving at 4pm with hardly anything done and says I will come early tomorrow morning to finish. So Sunday morning comes, she turns up and says my parents are coming to collect everything at 9am so I got out of the house and left them to it.
I get back to the house at 2pm and half of her things are still here, obviously I'm questioning it and she said some bullshit answer like I need them here for now and I will get them next week. That day never came and still hasn't come. We were very "into each other" on this particular day and she was happy to go along with it and even encouraged it and at the end she was the one who said "I hope this is only a small break for us". Little did I know at the exact same time on the exact same day she was ringing and messaging this other guy. I was oblivious still at this point.
She goes on holiday last week and returns a couple of days ago. I said come to the house on Sunday to get the rest of the stuff and she agrees. She turns up yesterday and only takes 3 small things. But she turned up not having a ****ing clue that I found out during her holiday throughout the last 2 weeks she had been with this other guy. I sat her down and gave her 5 opportunities to tell me the truth - did not take any of them. She only admitted that they were "talking" 45 mins into the conversation. So I said if you don't come and take your stuff this week it is going for good, she says Wednesday or Thursday any time - up to you. I said this evening please come Wednesday at 9am to get the rest of your things. No answer.
So I ring her a number of times this evening and what do you know - no answer. So on about the 9th attempt because I want her shit ****ing out of here, she finally answers. I say where are you it's really noisy, you in Cardiff? No she says, I'm in Bath. Yes you've guessed it, this guy lives there. She said they were only friends and talking last night and now she is staying with him until Wednesday so is suddenly is unable to collect her things until Thursday.
I said if you don't come Wednesday your stuff is going out in black bags in the garden, you're the one moving on whilst prolonging this whole situation - not me! She didn't accept that and said I will get my dad onto you. **** me, grow up love I thought people stopped saying that when they were in school. I said I want your keys asap, post them through the door and don't come back. She hung up and that was that.
The moral of the story is, if someone breaks up with you, even if you are sure there is still something there... don't even ****ing bother - even if they lead you on the entire way through it. I have been feeling like shit because of her the last 4 weeks and trusted her every word when she said I would always tell you if there was ever anyone else, I promise there is no one else. I said to her on the phone tonight what happened to that promise then and she said it's none of your business leave me alone.
Yesterday I counted and she lied to me a total of 32 times. What a ****, and I can tell you now that I am much better off away from a compulsive liar and a controlling girl who does not know how to treat a person with respect and decency.
Feel free to call me an idiot because I certainly feel like one tonight.
4 weeks ago I received some fantastic support and advice from this forum when my ex broke up with me. I thought it would be more than fair to share what happened during the last month so you can see what an idiot I was.
I have learned that when an ex breaks up with them you cannot trust them for shit, even if you had total 100% faith in their every word - forget it. So here's what happened.
The day she finished with me I was totally broken as you all know. And the weeks following that I was physically ill and my head was going crazy - not because I couldn't deal with it but for the fact that through all of that time she was leading me on. I met with her 2 days later to talk things through and see if anything could be resolved, I learned that in fact that with time it could be resolved and we could see the root of our problems and rectify them. So that day I felt very good, we promised each other if there was anyone else at any point we would tell each other and that would be that.
So she came round to the house 2 days after that and I cooked for her. I wasn't expecting any sexual favours and so on, I just wanted to spend time with her to see how things went. She initially said she would come and stay but we would stay in different rooms and I was totally fine with that, I just wanted the opportunity to be good together again. She turns up and says she is only able to stay an hour. So that night was short and surprising but I moved on anyway.
2 days after that she turns up to the house again but this time with a friend, to see her little dog. I was looking after her dog throughout all of this because she wasn't living anywhere permanently. As some of you know, around the same time, one of my best friends was suicidal - she was sent to a mental hospital which I mentioned to my ex on this particular day whilst her friend was there as she'd been admitted to hospital 24 hours prior. When I said this she looked her friend in the eyes and just laughed about the location of said hospital. I thought why on Earth would you laugh at such a sensitive situation. Thankfully, my friend was released last week and is on the up but obviously on a lot of medication, that's the only good thing to come out of that.
So far, obviously I have attachments with her because all of her things are still at home as well as her dog (who I love dearly and he is the reason why I kept it together most of the time). Each time I see her she is like a different person, one minute she is kissing me, the next she doesn't want to look me in the eye.
This goes on and on same pattern for the next week and she says I love you a number of times and "you can trust me" all this bullshit. Obviously, I'm holding on to her every last word. So fast forward to 13 days after the breakup and all of a sudden she doesn't want to chat much anymore because there are people in the house she's been staying at that she would like to socialise with (fair enough). You need to know at this point she has been totally leading me on with words and actions. Now I should also mention the reason I've also kept on being nice is because I promised her that I would be there for her whilst she goes into hospital for an op just two days after this particular night. So she said "I would like to stay at the house because I will be feeling like shit", so I said fair enough I will buy you the certain foods etc. So the arrangement was we would stay in different rooms and that's that.
I see on social media that she has liked 8 pictures of some boy on two separate occasions on the same day she was due to come and stay at the house until she started to feel better. I thought here we ****ing go. So I say to her that night has anything gone and so forth and she denies it all and says it was nothing. I also find out the same night she had been flirting with a number of others whilst still coming back to the house and doing the same with me.
So she goes into hospital the next day, has the op and I go to visit her at night. I was there for an hour with her sister then her sister left, so I sat on the chair where her sister had been sitting and was looking around. Gareth Thomas was also in the same ward visiting so I thought that was pretty funny and said do you know who that is etc. I look in the direction her phone was in and she saw that and quickly flipped it. Obviously I wasn't happy but she denied anything was going on. I pick her up from hospital the next day to bring her back to the house and I left her to her own devices. I go up and say "I know I shouldn't be doing this really, but would you like anything to eat at all?" Instead of saying no thanks she says, "you should be doing it". As you can imagine I kicked off at that, I couldn't believe she had the audacity to say it after all that she put me through. So she rings a friend to pick her up and she leaves, with the dog this time. I ring her later that day to apologise and she said I can't really speak I'm too weak. I found out on the weekend that she didn't want to speak because she was phoning this other guy at the same ****ing time.
A few days pass and we arrange for her to box all her stuff up last weekend, 4 days after her op. Saturday comes and it was the same day as the Austria game so I was leaving the house about 5pm to get down there. I said if you can't finish it before then, just stay as long as you need to do it. She was still recovering and was in a lot of pain so I felt sorry for her and made her a small lunch etc. She ends up leaving at 4pm with hardly anything done and says I will come early tomorrow morning to finish. So Sunday morning comes, she turns up and says my parents are coming to collect everything at 9am so I got out of the house and left them to it.
I get back to the house at 2pm and half of her things are still here, obviously I'm questioning it and she said some bullshit answer like I need them here for now and I will get them next week. That day never came and still hasn't come. We were very "into each other" on this particular day and she was happy to go along with it and even encouraged it and at the end she was the one who said "I hope this is only a small break for us". Little did I know at the exact same time on the exact same day she was ringing and messaging this other guy. I was oblivious still at this point.
She goes on holiday last week and returns a couple of days ago. I said come to the house on Sunday to get the rest of the stuff and she agrees. She turns up yesterday and only takes 3 small things. But she turned up not having a ****ing clue that I found out during her holiday throughout the last 2 weeks she had been with this other guy. I sat her down and gave her 5 opportunities to tell me the truth - did not take any of them. She only admitted that they were "talking" 45 mins into the conversation. So I said if you don't come and take your stuff this week it is going for good, she says Wednesday or Thursday any time - up to you. I said this evening please come Wednesday at 9am to get the rest of your things. No answer.
So I ring her a number of times this evening and what do you know - no answer. So on about the 9th attempt because I want her shit ****ing out of here, she finally answers. I say where are you it's really noisy, you in Cardiff? No she says, I'm in Bath. Yes you've guessed it, this guy lives there. She said they were only friends and talking last night and now she is staying with him until Wednesday so is suddenly is unable to collect her things until Thursday.
I said if you don't come Wednesday your stuff is going out in black bags in the garden, you're the one moving on whilst prolonging this whole situation - not me! She didn't accept that and said I will get my dad onto you. **** me, grow up love I thought people stopped saying that when they were in school. I said I want your keys asap, post them through the door and don't come back. She hung up and that was that.
The moral of the story is, if someone breaks up with you, even if you are sure there is still something there... don't even ****ing bother - even if they lead you on the entire way through it. I have been feeling like shit because of her the last 4 weeks and trusted her every word when she said I would always tell you if there was ever anyone else, I promise there is no one else. I said to her on the phone tonight what happened to that promise then and she said it's none of your business leave me alone.
Yesterday I counted and she lied to me a total of 32 times. What a ****, and I can tell you now that I am much better off away from a compulsive liar and a controlling girl who does not know how to treat a person with respect and decency.
Feel free to call me an idiot because I certainly feel like one tonight.
go and shag her sister mate I don't think she be so high and mighty then
you sound well shot of that shitcunt
its always the nice guy these shitcunts target
the irony is if you was a bastard you would have had her in line ****ing irony is a cruel mistress
don't let it stop you cracking on though brother theres plenty of decent ones out there
soon as she finds out you had your card marked or you got another woman
she relise shes ****ed up
hindsight you have had a result
This.
Fool me once etc.
I advise you start socialising again. If you meet another woman all good and well.
More importantly, you need to get your ex out of your head asap. If not, you'll end up going day to day thinking of her, and /or having an unhealthy attitude towards women. Causing problems in future relationships. Never ever drone on about her with other women. As I said, get her out of your head asap.
* You will never trust her again, so no matter what happens n the future, move on.
I advise you change your locks. !
This is the very first thing you should do.
I wouldn't feel bad at all. You've acted properly right the way through this and your conscience is clear. In the coming months and years that is going to be hugely important - you've behaved according to what you have considered the 'right thing' to do.
So she thinks she's taken you for a mug? She's going to feel like shit in the coming years as word gets around about how she's behaved. How do you think her new bloke is going to feel knowing she's lied to her ex? That's now him in that situation and he's not going to trust her from the off. She's made those decisions though, so she's going to have to take the consequences.
Break ups are always shit but it seems you've done well in the way you've behaved and you can move on with a clear head. Enjoy the first days of the rest of your life!
PS Just because one girl has behaved this way don't let that cloud your judgement about all of them. You know more now about how things can go but don't get into any relationship if you're not prepared to trust - it's just not worth the hassle and stress.
You also don't need a relationship just to show you can still have one. Keep looking for the right one as I've seen too many people get caught in a relationship they thought would only be temporary.
Get out and about, take your mind off her.
She's obviously had it easy with you and she doesn't want to lose that whilst she wants to live a single life.
It's you who's in the no-win situation here but it's in your hands to turn it on its head and put her in that position.
Put her clothes in the black bags, dump them outside, change the locks and then move on.
Hire the best looking girl from your local escort agency, and have her draped over your sofa wearing next to nothing when your ex comes to pick up her stuff
I advise you to post nudes pls
I agree with NYCBlue, this is the best point made in the thread.
I have no desire to see this man naked. There are other websites where you can indulge in these fetishes you pervert.
Take care of yourself and move on.
Living your relationship out on a football message board. Oh dear.
Don't bother in getting back at her. You have to genuinely move on. Getting back at her will only fire your anger etc . its easy to say 'move on' buts its your only choice. How many guys do you know that can't move on and remain single for sometime? This can last for several years, because that guy can't move on and an unhealthy distrust kicks in.
A mb? Its where someone can remain anonymous. I wouldn't be so quick to judge or take the piss.
Some great advice in this thread so far Zenith young man.
All I'll add is this:
Your ex sounds like one of those girls that's commonly referred to as a cnut. There's plenty of them about. Most of us have had involvement with someone like that at some point in our lives. However there's plenty of good women out there so don't let one cnut cloud your judgement when a good one comes along. Learn from what's happened in the past but don't let it dictate your future.
As for the rest of her clothes, personally I'd jizz on every single article to give her the only reminder of you that she deserves.
P.s one last thing - at least you never married or had kids with the duplicitous cnut.
Trolling on a football message board. Oh dear.
We've all been there mate "It's not you it's me"; "I do love you, I just need some time alone" ; "there's nobody else, I just need a break" yadder yadder yadder, all bullshit cliches which basically add up to -
"We're done, I don't want to be with you any more, I've met this other bloke but I don't want to hurt your feelings too much because then I'll feel bad about myself and it's easier (on me) to make up some bullshit reason rather than tell you the truth "
They're a different breed mate, I spent 20 years trying to work them out and gave up trying to understand them 20 years ago.
My advice.
1. Change the locks. Now
2. Put her stuff in bin bags but don't stick them outside, put them somewhere out of sight until she eventually rocks up to get them.
3. If she comes over, says she's changed her mind and wants to stay, don't give in. It was her choice to leave, and if you give in now, chances are you'll being going through all this again in the future.
4. Spend time with your mates, go for a few beers and have fun.
5. Don't go out looking for women, any knock backs will just make you feel worse. Sooner or later one will just walk into your life from nowhere. I had a broken engagement once, went out with the next girl a couple of times but knocked her on the head after a couple of weeks, then met another girl a couple months after that and have been married to her for 27 years.
A guy suffering and looking to some like-minded blokes for a little support, then you come along. Oh dear.
You must feel ever so proud of your self
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