52 , voluptuous lady , likes the outdoors , pontypool , see you next season

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

That's my summer sorted !

[Cyclops]

They're fickle from the Eastern Valleys, mind.

(I should know - I'm married to a 'Pooler)

[valleys caveman]

Will you be taking her up the Walnut?

[Rjk]

Will you be taking her up the Walnut?

I've heard it's difficult to get in there, but when you do it's a guaranteed good time.

[Eric the Half a Bee]

I've heard it's difficult to get in there, but when you do it's a guaranteed good time.

There'll be no resistance at the front entrance. Nice to see Sludge going for the younger lady.

[City123]

Will you be taking her up the Walnut?

Heard they've got bouncers on the back door there

[Louth]

Will you be taking her up the Walnut?

Walnut? Please tell me that's not what it sounds like.

[Nick]

They're fickle from the Eastern Valleys, mind.

(I should know - I'm married to a 'Pooler)

You're a very lucky fella then

[valleys caveman]

Walnut? Please tell me that's not what it sounds like.

What does it sound like?

[Nick]

You want to take her up the open, Sludge.

Always very warm and friendly there and anything you want on tap all the time.

http://www.theopenhearth.wales

[Organ Morgan.]

Sludge scours the internet dating site Local Slags (https://www.localslags.co.uk/) where his username is Raymondo Bernard. There he's a sophisticated 30-something entrepreneur of Mediterranean heritage. His profile photo is of a young Erik Estrada.

The women lie too. The voluptuous 52-year-old is likely to be over 60 with three original teeth left in her head. He's arranged to meet her at Merthyr Mawr. His plan is to seduce her with a free rissole and chips then whisk her off to the sand dunes for a fingering.