Surprised that Mogwyn Moggis hasn't already shunted this thread to the Russian Front that's formally known as CCMB II - The Alternative Forum.

To ensure he does I'll address his shiny bald dome which is a subject he's extremely touchy about.

Information suggests his decades long quest to acquire the perfect wig has yet again met with crushing disappointment. His recent purchase of a deluxe, non-slip version of one advertised as a John Lennon-style circa 1966 mop top from a Lithuanian-based eBay seller meant he wasted another £3.99 as, I understand, he slung it in a bin within a minute of opening the parcel. The word is a hedgehog ironed by a tractor's tyre perched on his bonce would look more convincing than what he received.