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Oh fecking hell, oh I've got the horn
..there was the same ****ing bogey lying on the bedspread
As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was a man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid
Jump! You f*****, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his f***ing neck
There was no blanket
Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy f*****s
Ahhhrrrr-soles
nurse....
Who's that famous philosopher bloke ?
Er.....des o Connor ?
Peter Cook: And I'd also like to say something about the difference between English comedy and American comedy. We, uh, we tend not to have very many sort of zappy one-liners or anything like that.
Dudley Moore: No. It's more sophisticated, you know, really. More, um... understated.
Peter Cook: Well, it's more understated, I'd say.
Dudley Moore: Mm.
Peter Cook: Very understated, very subtle.
Dudley Moore: Yes.
Peter Cook: In fact, we've been here two years performing without a laugh.
......who took any notice..
I'll tell you who f***ing listened, no f***er!
And the band played on
I knew a lady from Amsterdam
She filled her arsehole full of clams
She was a stupid Dutch bitch
She had lobsters up her arse
She was f**king working class
She was a stupid Dutch bitch
You know what’s going to happen when you go to heaven? We’re going to have this tape played endlessly. As we burn.
Crawfey? The queen mothers nanny ?