Government will have to modify its public health advice following Johnson's statement last night.

Anyone can get it, becomes: anyone can get it except for tennis players, sunbathers, builders and other workers who should return to work from tomorrow because then they will develop natural immunity.

Anyone can spread it, now reads: anyone can spread it therefore we want a great many more to have the opportunity to do so.

If you go out, you can spread it. People will die, switches to: If you go out, you can spread it. People will die, and we no longer give a shit.