Some years ago, decades, I got involved in a stupid bet with a former pal. It was a tenner on who could shed the most weight in 30 days. (He won. He lost 16 kilos, I lost 15.). Even then ten quid was a pittance, the wager was more of an ego thing.

During that period I went 15 days without eating a thing. Although I carried on drinking coffee and booze as per usual. The latter contains plenty of calories so it wasn't a crash diet in the strictest sense. I must say it was easy to do, all that was required was to adopt a new mindset.

Then I walked my former hound on a cycle path. Halfway along was a bench where I often parked myself to shout at imaginary strangers and sing show tunes from the musical Oklahoma (only kidding). On it someone had left a bag with 100+ sachets of vinegar and brown and red sauce, presumably trousered from a cafe.

I cracked and sampled lots of their contents. I had had plenty of both on chips, etc, since a kid to never give much thought to the taste. It was just what red and brown sauce was.

"What's does this tedious shit have to do with anything?" Hold on in there!

Though it had been only 15 days, my taste buds had been denied anything sugary.

Even though those I tried felt satisfying, the horrible sweetness of them struck me... to such an extent I haven't had either on anything since.

I then noticed, for the first time, other foods had the same horrible sweetness. Heinz vegetable soup is but one example.

"So fecking what?! How is this rubbish relevant?"

It dawned that it was a major reason for obese people becoming the norm.

Then the internet came along and I could research the effects of poisonous shite such as aspartame - which is loaded into pop, especially - and what else to swerve lest be popping all sorts of pills to help counter deteriorating health on reaching bus pass age.

It was just last week when I read a claim that Pfizer own the patents for every artificial sweetener out there. I haven't checked the veracity of that as yet but I'd be unsurprised to learn it's true as it's a truly scummy outfit.