Sometimes it’s good to get things off your chest mate
By the sounds of things you’ve been struggling with back problems since your mid thirties which is debilitating enough without your new problems.
I’m fifty four and the only advice I can give is be positive and live each day as if it’s your last with no regrets.
Get some cannabis and bake a cake
Do something impulsive
Write a bucket list and stick to it
The bottom line realistically we’ve got a good ten years left at our age
Anything else is a bonus 🥳👍