How to be royally f*cked over in just 28 days!

[Dr Lecter]

No, the leaks are at the bottom of the sides. Where the sides join the base there is a gap - you can see daylight there from the inside. Water accumulates on the base rail and either splashes inside thru the gap when it rains or is blown in by the wind (prolly the former). I bought it via Groupon and got me money back in full, but I'd like to see if I can fix it. I've used sealant on both sides of the base rails and I think a bead of sealant all round the shed between the sides and the base will make it waterproof - just waiting for a dry day. If that doesn't work, I'm going to dismantle it and cut me poor hands to ribbons. In truth, this is a far more heart-wrenching saga, ain't it?

Oh dear. Groupon.

Once and once only I bought something from the total shitfest that is groupon.

Rattan garden furniture for 200 quid. Seemed like a bargain as I'd seen them for twice that everywhere else.

Spent all day arsing about trying to put some badly constructed shit together. Half the holes were in the wrong places, god knows how many screws and rivets were missing, no instructions etc. - eventually I managed to use my moderate diy skills to get a table, 4 chairs and a bench assembled as best I could. Finished the final chair, stood it up and discovered that one leg was about three inches shorter than the rest.

Smashed it to shit, rung the number, had the mother of all rants, they refunded my money and told me I could keep the shitty rattan as a gesture of goodwill. Burnt it on a fire out my back garden - one of the most satisfying experiences of my life.

Moral of the story - don't buy anything from groupon. It's just shit they can't sell anywhere else. Because it's shit.

Take a sledgehammer to the shitty shed. You'll feel so much better for doing it.

[Cyclops]

Oh dear. Groupon.
Once and once only I bought something from the total shitfest that is groupon.
Rattan garden furniture for 200 quid. Seemed like a bargain as I'd seen them for twice that everywhere else.
Spent all day arsing about trying to put some badly constructed shit together. Half the holes were in the wrong places, god knows how many screws and rivets were missing, no instructions etc. - eventually I managed to use my moderate diy skills to get a table, 4 chairs and a bench assembled as best I could. Finished the final chair, stood it up and discovered that one leg was about three inches shorter than the rest.

You didn't think to call on the technological genius that is Mrs SR in your hour of need...?

[Mrs Steve R]

You didn't think to call on the technological genius that is Mrs SR in your hour of need...?

Don't tell everyone, they will all want help.

[Arfur Europe]

Don't tell everyone, they will all want help.

I'm glad you said that Mrs R. Because I have this question that's always been bugging me.

Pretend 1% of the population has a disease. You have a test that determines if you have that disease, but it’s only 80% accurate and 20% of the time you get a false positive. Your test comes back positive. How likely is it you have the disease?

[Cyclops]

I'm glad you said that Mrs R. Because I have this question that's always been bugging me.
Pretend 1% of the population has a disease. You have a test that determines if you have that disease, but it’s only 80% accurate and 20% of the time you get a false positive. Your test comes back positive. How likely is it you have the disease?

Blimey! What disease has she got?

[Mrs Steve R]

I'm glad you said that Mrs R. Because I have this question that's always been bugging me.

Pretend 1% of the population has a disease. You have a test that determines if you have that disease, but it’s only 80% accurate and 20% of the time you get a false positive. Your test comes back positive. How likely is it you have the disease?

I'd say you haven't got it, why? because they can't even prove if you have it or not, why listen to them?

Blimey! What disease has she got?

I ain't got nufink

[Dr Lecter]

You didn't think to call on the technological genius that is Mrs SR in your hour of need...?

Only if she fancied a warm by the fire.

[Cyclops]

Only if she fancied a warm by the fire.

Problems with the atmospheric sensing device, the oxygen depletion sensor and the precision pilot on your Robinson Willey Firegem Visa 2 Gas Fire?

[Dr Lecter]

Problems with the atmospheric sensing device, the oxygen depletion sensor and the precision pilot on your Robinson Willey Firegem Visa 2 Gas Fire?

Nah.

The petrol fired shitty rattan bonfire went off like a dream.

[Cyclops]

Nah.
The petrol fired shitty rattan bonfire went off like a dream.

"Finished the final chair, stood it up and discovered that one leg was about three inches shorter than the rest" Haven't we heard enough personal problems on this thread without you going on about your terrible deformity?