Crap joke thread

[Jimmy the Jock]

Two hunters park their car, climb over a fence to go to the woods, then...
BANG

One of them phones for help
He says to the operator "Help! My gun went of by accident, and I've shot my friend.
I think he might be dead!"

The op takes some details then says
"OK, I've sent emergence services to your location, but let's see if we can do anything while we wait for them to arrive...
You said you think he's dead - can you make sure"

OK, says the hunter, and goes off.
The op hears a BANG! then the hunter comes back and says "OK, what next?"

************************************************** **********************

Blond girl driving around town on way to a job interview, but can't find a parking place.
Time is running out, so in desperation, she looks to the sky and says
"Oh Lord, if you can find me a parking space I'll give up smoking, drinking, drugs and sex!"
Just seconds late, as if by magic, a car pulls out of a space just 30 yards ahead.

She looks up again and says "OK, don't worry, I've found one myself!"

They were both excellent . I even had a little smile to myself .
Wait till Mrs R gets here , she is the king of bad jokes (queen, whatever)

[Mrs Steve R]

They were both excellent . I even had a little smile to myself .
Wait till Mrs R gets here , she is the king of bad jokes (queen, whatever)

I knew that was coming, other people got that ta Pauline one.