Family Tree / DNA

[Cyclops]

At the age of 62 she discovered that she had been adopted

You and your wife will know the details of course, but may I ask if you are sure she was adopted - and not fostered?

[Gofer Blue]

You and your wife will know the details of course, but may I ask if you are sure she was adopted - and not fostered?

Cyclops - yes, definitely adopted. It is a very long story which started with a request to the record office for a full copy of her birth certificate - previously she only had one of those short form type certificates. She was notified by letter that she was adopted and if she wanted to know more she was required to contact the adoption services department. This was so she could receive counseling to ensure she knew what she was getting into. She decided to go ahead and this opened up a totally unexpected scenario. I don't want to go into too much detail but she discovered she had numerous half brothers/sisters all of whom she has now met. Some were adopted and others were fostered and all have had widely different life experiences. Some knew of the existence of others, some no knowledge at all. It transpired for the first 3 years of her life my wife was kept in a children's home as her single mother did not want her (she gave her up for adoption immediately) and then was eventually adopted by the couple who she came to know as Mum and Dad.

No-one in the family ever mentioned that she was adopted, the same went for her "brother". Quite a remarkable story all in all (there is a lot more!) which would make quite a good weepy film/book!

[Cyclops]

Quite a remarkable story all in all (there is a lot more!) which would make quite a good weepy film/book!

Thanks for that detailed comment.
One of the satisfying aspects of detailed family history research is that it gives a sense of being 'grounded', so I'm not sure how I'd react to being in your wife's situation. Could be most unsettling to say the least.

I've got an odd situation in my own family re adoption. One of my ancestors was a powder monkey at Trafalgar and despite deserting from the Navy, he received a medal with a Trafalgar bar which according to newspaper reports he wore proudly until his death. I wondered what had happened to his medal as there's a direct line from him down to my mother. Recently, there's been a lot of publicity about an HBOS fraud case (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...aces-jail.html). One of the guilty (who had a yacht called Powder Monkey) has my mother's maiden name. He had a blog in which he boasted of his family connections with my ancestor - even having his Trafalgar medal. He claims to be the grandson of my great uncle. But my mother told me years ago that he and his brother were adopted. I've searched the Births Registration Index exhaustively and can't find either of them there, so I'm pretty sure she was right.

[Harry Monk]

Thanks for that detailed comment.
One of the satisfying aspects of detailed family history research is that it gives a sense of being 'grounded', so I'm not sure how I'd react to being in your wife's situation. Could be most unsettling to say the least.

I've got an odd situation in my own family re adoption. One of my ancestors was a powder monkey at Trafalgar and despite deserting from the Navy, he received a medal with a Trafalgar bar which according to newspaper reports he wore proudly until his death. I wondered what had happened to his medal as there's a direct line from him down to my mother. Recently, there's been a lot of publicity about an HBOS fraud case (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...aces-jail.html). One of the guilty (who had a yacht called Powder Monkey) has my mother's maiden name. He had a blog in which he boasted of his family connections with my ancestor - even having his Trafalgar medal. He claims to be the grandson of my great uncle. But my mother told me years ago that he and his brother were adopted. I've searched the Births Registration Index exhaustively and can't find either of them there, so I'm pretty sure she was right.

I've PM'd you.

[Gofer Blue]

Thanks for that detailed comment.
One of the satisfying aspects of detailed family history research is that it gives a sense of being 'grounded', so I'm not sure how I'd react to being in your wife's situation. Could be most unsettling to say the least.

I've got an odd situation in my own family re adoption. One of my ancestors was a powder monkey at Trafalgar and despite deserting from the Navy, he received a medal with a Trafalgar bar which according to newspaper reports he wore proudly until his death. I wondered what had happened to his medal as there's a direct line from him down to my mother. Recently, there's been a lot of publicity about an HBOS fraud case (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...aces-jail.html). One of the guilty (who had a yacht called Powder Monkey) has my mother's maiden name. He had a blog in which he boasted of his family connections with my ancestor - even having his Trafalgar medal. He claims to be the grandson of my great uncle. But my mother told me years ago that he and his brother were adopted. I've searched the Births Registration Index exhaustively and can't find either of them there, so I'm pretty sure she was right.

Uhm, I’m not sure what you can do in these circumstances as you only have quite a tenuous connection with this person. If I’ve got it right it’s the grandson of your mother’s uncle (your great uncle) you are talking about? In my wife’s case she was seeking information about herself of course, so relatively straightforward.

A long shot: do you know the place of birth and date of birth of the man? You could then check the birth indexes and see who was born in the place on that day. There would only be a relatively small number of males born that day/place and maybe eliminate them one by one? The man you are tracking will disappear from the records as he takes on his adopted name, whereas the others will go on to adulthood, get married, maybe have children….. a long laborious process. Even then that will only give you his birth-name which may not lead anywhere. I can’t see any other way around it short of writing to the bloke in person (I assume he’s in jail) or are there any other relatives that you know of that you could contact?

When we started working on my family tree back in the late 1970’s we just happened to look up my wife’s details. We lived near London at that time so it was easy to go to St. Katherine’s house and look her up in the indexes there. In those days the entries were hand written but her name was not listed? We just assumed that the omission was a clerical error and did not follow it up. Knowing what we know now, of course her name was there all the time but it was her birth-name!! The great irony is that we could have discovered she was adopted back then but the repercussions would have been significant as her parents were still alive at that time. Maybe it was meant to be the way things turned out

[Cyclops]

A long shot: do you know the place of birth and date of birth of the man? You could then check the birth indexes and see who was born in the place on that day. There would only be a relatively small number of males born that day/place and maybe eliminate them one by one? The man you are tracking will disappear from the records as he takes on his adopted name, whereas the others will go on to adulthood, get married, maybe have children….. a long laborious process. Even then that will only give you his birth-name which may not lead anywhere. I can’t see any other way around it short of writing to the bloke in person (I assume he’s in jail) or are there any other relatives that you know of that you could contact?

I know the full names and ages of the two brothers and where they would have been born (if not adopted). Neither appear in the Birth Index. But I still have the note I made when Mum was talking about her family (long before the HBOS case) and with no prompt from me, she said the two brothers were adopted. She was 100% right on most things. He was using his adopted name when he married - I have the cert.

[Gofer Blue]

I know the full names and ages of the two brothers and where they would have been born (if not adopted). Neither appear in the Birth Index. But I still have the note I made when Mum was talking about her family (long before the HBOS case) and with no prompt from me, she said the two brothers were adopted. She was 100% right on most things. He was using his adopted name when he married - I have the cert.

Can I ask why you want to pursue this? Is it to do with the medal or just a matter of completing that branch of the family tree?

[Mrs Steve R]

Can I ask why you want to pursue this? Is it to do with the medal or just a matter of completing that branch of the family tree?

If you knew him you wouldn't need to ask

[Cyclops]

If anyone is following this saga - there is a Cardiff connection: https://www.ianfraser.org/ten-compan...f-david-mills/