Pippa Middleton, I mean she's just an ordinary girl

[Organ Morgan.]

Marjorie Petherick-West, a 66-year-old former postmistress, was the organist at yesterday's nuptial, and it was the 1,000 occasion she'd done so, reports The Sunday People.

If Sludge had been a guest - an ultra unlikely if, admittedly - it would have been her last 'cause after trying and failing to finger Pippa and her Maid of Honour he'd have had a bash at her in the vestibule and would never recover from such a sordid experience.

What an irreligious rotter that fella is!

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Marjorie Petherick-West, a 66-year-old former postmistress, was the organist at yesterday's nuptial, and it was the 1,000 occasion she'd done so, reports The Sunday People.

If Sludge had been a guest - an ultra unlikely if, admittedly - it would have been her last 'cause after trying and failing to finger Pippa and her Maid of Honour he'd have had a bash at her in the vestibule and would never recover from such a sordid experience.

What an irreligious rotter that fella is!

Does Sludge know how to open a cheese toastie?